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Protection order from sex abuse

Discussion in 'Domestic Violence' started by Sadi Peterson, Jul 11, 2018 at 5:33 AM.

  1. Sadi Peterson

    Sadi Peterson New Member

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    (I'm just using a male acc info)

    Being under the maltreatment of my husband for a 3-year long of having our ill-marriage relationship. At first it was just verbal threat and physical injuries that I got in every time that we have a high-level conflict, even though I let my pride down and accept the fact that I made a certain mistake just for to stop the fight, and to avoid any physical abuse, but still it always ended with his hands slapped on the parts of my body. And what's worst to happen is that after these physical abuses he always wants a deep revenge still and abuse me more through forcing unwanted sexual harassment. I can't get a hold onto myself cause he's just strong enough to put me down easily.

    So all the possible help that I want to discuss, is what are the keys and things to obtain a domestic violence order of protection?

    Really appreciated for an open suggestion and guidelines through this. Thank you.
     
    Swift likes this.
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  3. berlinda

    berlinda On the way to find out :-) Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    Hi @Sadi Peterson
    I'm sorry you're going through this. Glad you are looking to get out.
    It probably depends which country are you in?
    Have you contacted your local Domestic abuse service?
    Welcome to the forum :)
     
    Swift, EveHarrington and piratelady like this.
  4. Whirlwind

    Whirlwind Well-Known Member

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    Hi Sadi,

    I am sorry to hear you have gone through this.

    Each state treats it differently.....mine requires an "event" to have occurred in the last 6 months and coercive or unwanted sexual contact is enough for a restraining order. I am no expert so take my advice as general.

    What I did was go to courthouse and get the paperwork and talk to the clerks and they often have someone to help you, maybe a DV representative. My local DV group had free legal advice you could sign up for and actually speak to a lawyer. I also found a DV support group and those gals were amazing. They had been through it and were incredibly helpful. I learned so much from them.

    And to start what you can do is make a time line of events. This was helpful for me and the system/lawyers....showing a pattern of behavior.

    It was also valuable for me as I began to see HOW MANY times he had been abusive to me...and how he had cornered me over the years by backing me into a corner I could not escape. That is when the light bulb went off...and I realized my deep fear that he had tricked me into marrying him and his actions were premeditated. When I presented my timeline lawyers and therapists saw the disturbing pattern of events and concluded the same. Without me saying a word.

    Later after I served him with divorce he even admitted some of it.

    You can do this. Start reaching out and you will find support and help.

    Good luck, Whirlwind
     
  5. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    It depends on the state/city and both local laws as well as local practice.

    I tried for months solo to accomplish some kind of legal “back the f*ck up”... hired an attorney and not just one but ELEVEN restraining orders / orders of protection / & a third/ fourth/ fifth kind I forget the names of, were filed in under an hour of us crisscrossing the courthouse from judge to clerk to judge to clerk to...Whoa! My head’s spinning! :confused: :D

    5 orders on me, 5 on my son, 1 on the dog. (Because killing or injuring the family pet is a common abuse / control tactic in domestic violence ... but it’s only a misdemeanour, unless there are court orders in place, which turn it into a felony & directly link it to spousal/child abuse).

    The moment I got a lawyer, eveything became easy easy.

    Before that I felt like I was trying to push back the tide with a broom. Freaking impossible task.
     
    dulcia, Swift, LuckiLee and 1 other person like this.
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