Sufferer PTSD....18 years and counting

Zoom30

New Here
Hello, my name is Deb.
I have long standing PTSD from combat in Iraq while in the Army. Includes war related things and sexual trauma. have had treatment on and off since that time and currently am in intensive CPT therapy along with meds.
I have isolated myself for years from others despite being surrounded by other people. My relationship with my spouse sucks, I can't work, I suck at parenting, and I feel like I walk around in circles all day.
I hate myself and who I am. I think of the person I should have been and it is devastating. It feels like I just can not move forward towards healing. I haven't given up and I will continue to fight the fight for healing.

I am here to be among others who understand what this feels like. I just don't think people get it until they live it.
 

Friday

Moderator
Right?!?

It’s one of those things that’s been useful to me since Day 1 …desperate as hell, and years deep in being wildly out of control… as well as still just freaking useful even when I’m as well managed as a pro ball team. Wait. That might not be the best metaphor? Regardless. Useful at every stage I’ve passed through, or got my ass stuck in.
 

anthony

Founder
Welcome Deb, glad to hear you're taking PTSD front on and going at it. Its the only way to the other side, through it. You can't beat it, but you can learn to control it for the most part. Time helps too.
 

Freida

MyPTSD Pro
Howdy!

Did the chair force thing back in the day - it was a shitshow so I get it.
I just recently discovered the world of veteran ptsd retreats...and it's been amazing. It's been the first time I got to be with other vets who got it (well, other than on here of course!) and I can't believe the difference its made in my recovery. Because ya, most civilians just cant wrap their minds around it. Having people say to me "yep, my story is similar" was just..... can't even think of the words.

Not sure how you stand with the VA but I was lucky to get an amazing therapist who did EMDR and that's been a game changer.

stumbling on this place has been one of the best things I've accidentally done in my life. LOL
So....welcome!
 

Zoom30

New Here
Howdy!

Did the chair force thing back in the day - it was a shitshow so I get it.
I just recently discovered the world of veteran ptsd retreats...and it's been amazing. It's been the first time I got to be with other vets who got it (well, other than on here of course!) and I can't believe the difference its made in my recovery. Because ya, most civilians just cant wrap their minds around it. Having people say to me "yep, my story is similar" was just..... can't even think of the words.

Not sure how you stand with the VA but I was lucky to get an amazing therapist who did EMDR and that's been a game changer.

stumbling on this place has been one of the best things I've accidentally done in my life. LOL
So....welcome!
Hi, thanks for the info. I am getting care through the VA PTSD program right now. I am doing CPT and doing an all women's PTSD group. It is helping. Really helping in identifying emotions that I have spent years trying to not feel.

I know retreats are happening somewhere... I have no idea who puts those on. It would be great to go on one and add that to my healing toolbox. Who did you go on a retreat with?
 
B

Bigbufford

Hello, my name is Deb.
I have long standing PTSD from combat in Iraq while in the Army. Includes war related things and sexual trauma. have had treatment on and off since that time and currently am in intensive CPT therapy along with meds.
I have isolated myself for years from others despite being surrounded by other people. My relationship with my spouse sucks, I can't work, I suck at parenting, and I feel like I walk around in circles all day.
I hate myself and who I am. I think of the person I should have been and it is devastating. It feels like I just can not move forward towards healing. I haven't given up and I will continue to fight the fight for healing.

I am here to be among others who understand what this feels like. I just don't think people get it until they live it.
I understand. Unless someone actually knows what PTSD is and how it affects everything and everyone, they can't begin to get it. Hang in there. I wish that I had something to say that would make you feel better, but I'm in the same boat. Keep up the good fight💪
 

Freida

MyPTSD Pro
Let's try that again LOL
I did Save a warrior first. It was tough. Really tough. It's s no-nonsense 72 hours that basically smacked me upside the head to get me moving forward. It was awesome!
Just the kick in the butt I needed

Next i did The warrior connection which is a week long program that is more holistic. It was a perfect follow up to saw

I'm scheduled for Sacred mountain next month

There is a Facebook group called ptsd retreats where people add retreats as they come up, but Google works too lol. They are all non profit and everything is paid for once you are there. Some even pay for transportation

Those in the know say the key to a successful retreat is that you are ready to talk and to try different things (equine therapy, art therapy, blah blah) and not just trying to distract yourself. The two I've been to helped SO much just because it was a chance to meet others who just got it.

And if you can get a referral to emdr that's been a game changer for me. If the va doesn't have one you can ask to do community
 

Zoom30

New Here
Let's try that again LOL
I did Save a warrior first. It was tough. Really tough. It's s no-nonsense 72 hours that basically smacked me upside the head to get me moving forward. It was awesome!
Just the kick in the butt I needed

Next i did The warrior connection which is a week long program that is more holistic. It was a perfect follow up to saw

I'm scheduled for Sacred mountain next month

There is a Facebook group called ptsd retreats where people add retreats as they come up, but Google works too lol. They are all non profit and everything is paid for once you are there. Some even pay for transportation

Those in the know say the key to a successful retreat is that you are ready to talk and to try different things (equine therapy, art therapy, blah blah) and not just trying to distract yourself. The two I've been to helped SO much just because it was a chance to meet others who just got it.

And if you can get a referral to emdr that's been a game changer for me. If the va doesn't have one you can ask to do community
Thanks so much for the info, definitely think it would be a positive addition to my treatment plan.
 
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