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ADHD PTSD and ADHD

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Yes, I have both diagnoses. I was also an adult when I received the adhd diagnosis. Shortly after my diagnosis, my mom and brother were diagnosed as well. My diagnosis was given (by my GP) after taking an extensive history. However, my mom went through a full neuropsychological assessment, and my brother is basically the poster child. From what I know, he was diagnosed based upon his history and the family history. (Geez, use the word diagnosis one more time ninja... lol.)

I am typically very wary about medications, but I actually found that the adhd medication made an enormous difference. I knew right away after taking it that it was what I needed.

With that in mind, I will say that differentiating between ptsd symptoms (dissociation & the flight/fight/freeze responses) and adhd symptoms is a continual challenge for me. I do have a baseline medication dosage, but I also need to deviate from it sometimes based upon trauma symptoms/the survival responses I’m experiencing on a given day. Adding an extra dose when the trauma symptoms are more prevalent makes things worse, but makes symptoms (e.g., hyperactivity, forgetfulness, disorganization, lack of concentration, “panicky-ness,” “blankness”) better when the adhd is more the culprit.

While medication has really been the game changer for me, I do find I need breaks from it.. and it can impact my sleep. I also find it works best when I’m able to exercise (really get my heart rate going) and take the time to catch my breath and breathe several times a day.

It makes sense to me that you would struggle after removing refined sugars; those are big dopamine hits, which is what is problematic/lacking in adhd brains. I echo Sideways: removing that from your diet is a big change! Thus, it may take some time for your brain and body to adjust.

There’s some research to suggest that (at least in kids) high EPA fish oil may lessen many of the core symptoms of adhd, such as hyperactivity and impulsivity. So that could be something to try that wouldn’t require waiting too long.

I have found that walking multiple times a day helps. So even if you can’t exercise heavily, maybe several brisk walks throughout the day could help take the edge off a little bit?

ETA: this is more of a patchy and short-term solution, but I also have found caffeine to be helpful in reducing my symptoms (which *tend* to run more on the hypoaroused end of things - spacey, forgetful, distracted, etc., but it calms me down when I’m “all-over-the-place,” too).

My mom also takes medication - a low dose because she is on other psychotropics that can interact, and she finds she can’t take more without bad side effects.

My brother deals with addiction so his docs are addressing his particular collection of diagnoses by recruiting SSRIs that have effects on dopamine.

The reason I am saying all of this is to illustrate just how differently the docs have approached treating the three of us because we “present” differently and have different comorbidities. So, imo it is really, *really* worthwhile to work with a doctor who knows you and knows “their stuff.” Being properly treated has made a huge difference in all of our lives.

Hope this helps and sending support. ?
 
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Really agree with @ninja .

Fwiw, many people say, ~I don't need meds, as they eat some sugar, have a coffee and a cigarette, and wind down with alcohol and MJ.

It might be important to note, one of the biggest troubles with adhd meds is people forget to take them- not a typical 'addictive' response, even for people more likely to become addicted due to at least in part, differences in the reward centre of the brain.

If you have it, you've always been hyperactive, so it might be worth noting why it's problematic now. Often problems come when we can now longer be as physical as we were, due to factors such as age, illness and injuries, and then we really take a hit. The funny thing is, you'll be told in the future your energy is a great blessing. And it is. Tbh, I'd rather have it than not. Maybe some reframing and outlets would help? I clean at 3 a.m. if I have to. I walk 10 miles even if I don't feel like it, and let the thoughts ramble (they will anyway). Who is to say that is not a prayer, if offered up? If this is how you are made, God is well aware and happy with it. And you'll have nice legs. (?)

Try externalizing time; use a watch, alarms, reminders and notes. Bullet-point journals, use 'in progress' instead of Y/N completed. Color code. Get more physical, not less. Make boring tasks more interesting- see if you can beat your own time. Make launch pads where you always put your keys, or purse or phone. Look at what interests you surfing and see where you can get involved in concrete ways. Structure your day and take small frequent breaks/ rewards. Question if what you are studying interests you at all. Think of how good you'll feel when a job is done. Break jobs in to smaller parts. Get a routine. If you are blessed to be able to sleep, use it to re-boot no matter what kind of day you've had. Tease apart hyperactivity from anxiety. Have some sugar and log your thoughts/ moods. Then next time you're down try turkey or unsweetened chocolate or what have you and log it. Try other dopamine boosters like exercise (can be different than working out), like for 10 minutes even, interest, novelty. Do bookwork in different locations, do 5 minutes per day if necessary. Try mindfulness (you can do it walking too), such as yoga also. Nothing wrong with podcasts, start at the beginning. Make creative solutions that work for you, doesn't matter if they're conventional or what anybody thinks, if they work and are not harmful. Start organizing one 1 foot x 1 foot space: start with, 'keep, throw out or give away, unsure'. Remember out of sight is out of mind. Start recognizing your strengths and see if you can farm out what jobs are not your forte. write down what you need to remember as soon as you think of it and keep it in the same place. Answer 1 e-mail / day. Set up automatic payments if you forget. Look at the content of what you're thinking of, what does it relate to? Is your restlessness caused by traumatic thoughts, or fear/ worry, or because you want something, or because of disorganization (on the outside too)? What is troubling you? Do what is in your control and recognize what isn't. Try to begin to become self-aware of what you are doing and thinking. Do things that require some focus, like playing an instrument. Read prayers vs memory. Forgive yourself when you fall short of goals or good intentions. Get invested in what interests you. Help other people or animals. Go easier on yourself. Talk to God instead of praying/ have a conversation. Add music esp to boring tasks. Learn about this because there's a good chance you might have to advocate for your child. Make some great memories/ quality time together.

Hope also this helps a bit. But trust me, the older you get the more glad you will be you were born with extra energy. And it's a lot less boring. There's nothing wrong with differences, you just have to look at what you do already that works, and build up from there.

ETA, I knew something didn't seem right, it's Russell Barkely, not William.
 
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One thing that I noticed when I was working on this stuff was to practice tying into breathing
Thank you for the advice and your kindness.

Am trying. It's: "one, two, Squirrel! Three, four, five, ah interesting- a circle! (In my mind!)." And then "One, two, coffee! I need coffee! Oh.. One, two, boring! Oh thats sounds like 'boing'! Like 'boing, boing, boing'! Bouncing is fun! I need a big ball! Oh.. no.. wait.." ..and new attempt: "One, two, three, ah I'm getting better! DARN! One, two, three.... Zzznnn...." = and now I fell asleep.

I've been practicing meditation before. I know monkey-mind. It doesn't scare me. I know its not about "making it shut up" but about actually not listening to it. But it's horrible now. Nowadays when I "ignore it", which I really do during prayer-time(it usually take 20 minutes to let go of the scattered thoughts though) it all becomes only a roaring living hell inside. Of chaos beyond all words. It feels like being in hell. For real. Then I usually fall asleep. Or only cry.

Maybe sitting on a big ball bouncing up and down while counting actually could help. Then I could close my eyes and use the earplugs so the outer distractions don't bother me. (Just thinking.) Biggest problem right now with meditation and prayer is that as soon as I'm able to start to calm down physically I fall asleep. In one split second. I guess it's some kind of rest. But it's not 'awake and calm'.

And walking and doing it at the same time is too complex for me to handle. I can't do both and if I have my eyes open I get distracted by things I see.

I think what complicates it even more right now is that my brain took a bit of a toll after covid19 and that I still have occasional bursts of brainfog, and that on the bad days I can't even tolerate listening to music or naturesound or white noise. That makes it harder to cope being outdoors, since listening to something is my way of shutting the sounds that make me even more distracted and exhausted out. (I've never travelled anywhere without my headphones.) Maybe it will get better when the brain is healed enough to cope with listening to music again.

Maybe buying a BIG ball is a good idea. And maybe I really should sleep every moment I don't have to be awake until I'm recovered fully from the blow covid19 gave my brain.
 
(e.g., hyperactivity, forgetfulness, disorganization, lack of concentration, “panicky-ness,” “blankness”
Thank you so much Ninja! You just described a lot of the issues. ? I really wish I could get an assessment and a full neuropsychological assessment (you can't get the diagnosis here without one), but first I have to meet the psychologist and then he will send an remittance to the hospital and then I will be put in the queue to get a full neuropsychological assessment = and that will be in 1-2:years.. ?? and then I can get help. (You know patience is not my forte..)

It makes sense to me that you would struggle after removing refined sugars; those are big dopamine hits, which is what is problematic/lacking in adhd brains
I gather that's true. But I read everywhere that removing it and eating healthier should help. Its such an irony it really pulled the rug from underneath me. But I hope it gets better with time..
There’s some research to suggest that (at least in kids) high EPA fish oil may lessen many of the core symptoms of adhd, such as hyperactivity and impulsivity
I've been taking those in high dosages for 12 years- life is TOTAL chaos without them. With them I can (at least most days) keep track of keys etc. Also helps a tiny bit with the stress.
I have found that walking multiple times a day helps. So even if you can’t exercise heavily, maybe several brisk walks throughout the day could help take the edge off a little bit?
Yes.. it probably would help a bit, or at least be good for me. Its only that I always think its boring to take short walks.. ? when I do walk I take a long walk. All or nothing, you know.. ? But also I always struggle a bit with getting my self ready to go outdoors (finding stuff, going to the bathroom etc.) and interrupting what I'm doing is hard- and then getting back on track too. So I don't like taking a break when I finally managed to start working on a paper or reading or whatever. Since I don't know if I will be able to get into it again some time soon.. ? but I dont want to 'only find problems' with your advice. I know its good. And should probably try to implement it. Since lately I've not been able to get much done anyway.
: this is more of a patchy and short-term solution, but I also have found caffeine to be helpful in reducing my symptoms (which *tend* to run more on the hypoaroused end of things - spacey, forgetful, distracted, etc., but it calms me down when I’m “all-over-the-place,” too).
Oh.. this is interesting! I actually lowered my coffee intake to one single cup in the morning since the health-care system here said coffee is bad for people with ADHD.. but I've been thinking about how the brain actually lacks energy in people with ADHD (the control center that is) and that if stimulating drugs help caffeine ought to be helpful to, right? I think I will go back to drinking at least 2 cups each day. (Am falling asleep so easily right now and drifting off during class all the time.)

Really a BIG thank you Ninja. ❤
 
Fwiw, many people say, ~I don't need meds, as they eat some sugar, have a coffee and a cigarette, and wind down with alcohol and MJ.
TRUE!! ?

If you have it, you've always been hyperactive, so it might be worth noting why it's problematic now
I have always been like this. But medicated it. Always. And then off course the depressions (which were severe and I suffered from a lot of the time) also "slowed me down" a lot. Since I dont suffer from them anymore the hyperactivity is more obvious. I actually always tried to "wear me out" completely to try to cope. But my body will not agree with that anymore- since it's older and more worn out.
The funny thing is, you'll be told in the future your energy is a great blessing
What I've learned lately is that most people with ADHD actually don't have more energy than other people. We just use it more explosively- when able to hyperfocus and interested or scared/full of adrenaline enough.. it takes it toll on me being in that hyperfocus state and achieving so much more in such a short amount of time than "ordinary people" do. I usually pay a price afterwards. And I constantly shift between doing nothing at all and sleeping and doing too much. Sigh. And at the same time there is no other way I can get things done= than to hyperfocus and often multitask big time. = listen to a school-book and clean the whole apartment thoroughly at the same time (contemplating cleaning the windows and clean out the closet at the same time- but actually realizing it probably is too much in one day.. ? = PROGRESS!!)..
Try externalizing time; use a watch, alarms, reminders and notes. Bullet-point journals, use 'in progress' instead of Y/N completed. Color code. Get more physical, not less. Make boring tasks more interesting- see if you can beat your own time.
Oh you had SO MANY good advices there!! ? And I've been using some of them. And I have finally understood that my life really needs to be thoroughly organized if I'm to cope. But at the same time organizing is so hard.. I start over over and over again, and never really manage to get it done. And I think I tried to "do it all at once" this summer when I finally figured out how my brain works and why I sometimes can be a so extremely high performance-person in jobs and school and at the same time and other days not cope with anything or struggle with filling in a form or sending a letter. But I know trying to "get my self motivated" more is part of the solution and I will come back and read your suggestions more later. But trying to change too much too quickly almost put be into a closed ward 2 weeks ago. (I crashed and became so desperate I had impulses to undo my self, despite the fact I really do want to live and am not depressed, it was only bad desperation and ptsd-related stuff.) Will try to implement things in a slower rate. Right now I'm trying only to get in bed on time and to manage school. And to fill in my calender and try to tidy up a bit at home (in a slow rate).
Is your restlessness caused by traumatic thoughts, or fear/ worry, or because you want something, or because of disorganization (on the outside too
More just restlessness and disorganization and hyperactivity than trauma-related thoughts nor memories. Though starting to understand and slowly accepting that I probably have an ADHD-brain makes memories arise that hurt. And I am grieving too. Since I now can see how I had to hide my problems as a kid in a violent family and that I NEVER were stupid, lazy nor wrong. I'm only wired differently and I really needed some understanding and love to be able to mature and deal with my brain and life- instead I was abused and called stupid and lazy and "you do it on purpose, you are a mean kid" etc. = SO there is A LOT OF emotions right now. And I've always had a lot of emotions, strong ones, but couldn't show them.. but therapy helped with getting in touch with them and learning that its not dangerous to feel them, since they actually do pass pretty quickly too.
And it's a lot less boring.
It truly is never really boring. Except some of the lectures and schoolbooks.. ? but I never run short on ideas. Or waste time on some stupid stuff, like only having small talks and "staying friends" with other people even when it requires lying to your self. (Small talk is NOT my forte either! ?) Instead I'm honest, sincere and always upfront. And I do feel passionately about stuff.

Sometimes I think I hadn't survived my childhood or worked so hard to get help and heal if I hadn't had this kind of brain. It makes it impossible for me to settle for status quo. But as both you and @ninja has pointed out it really entangles sometimes in not so good ways with PTSD.

There's nothing wrong with differences, you just have to look at what you do already that works, and build up from there.
A sincere and WARM thank you for your reply and very good advices!! ❤
 
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I did think of something else: there's anxiety possible (as a co-morbidity), but anxiety too from fear from complications (forgetfulness, etc). Treating the ADHD obviously helps the latter directly.

stimulating drugs help caffeine ought to be helpful to, right? I think I will go back to drinking at least 2 cups each day

For me, I drink approx 12 mugs (double cups/ day; 2x 12 cups pots of coffee, or even as many as 3-4 12-cup pots/ day). I cannot sleep without coffee, but for others they'd be wide awake.

I need stimulants to help focus. The idea behind meds is to raise your baseline towards 'normal' (typical, average). My understanding is it won't change your thoughts though.

For me it doesn't help to be aghast at myself that I have a lot of competing thoughts. For example, I made muffins and forgot to time them (had the timer on already), realized at the end of the day I was wearing a black leopard print bra with a white blouse, and this morning my panties are on inside out. But I laugh at myself. On a serious note, though complicated by grief (similar), I knew that if I tried to cut the grass the other day I'd likely cut my foot off (no exageration). There are points in time I have to accept my limits.

Fwiw with sugar, it's actually recommended when you study to sip on a sugary drink, as it's an instant hit to the pre-frontal cortex (Barkely).

As per energy, no, trust me. When you get to your older age it's an asset not a liability. (Doesn't mean crashing doesn't follow expenditure, but you'll still get far more life stuffed in there, and be way more independent, or capable to be). However, it's recommended to begin by slowing down by 25%.

And it's good to give yourself permission to rest.

I find it's helpful to just start with one thing you want to alter. Then, to figure out what is helpful, and what stands in the way. Then you can begin to introduce realistic supports for yourself.
 
but anxiety too from fear from complications (forgetfulness, etc). Treating the ADHD obviously helps the latter directly.
This is what I hope for- some help that can ease my stress and anxiety over the likely prospect of me loosing or forgetting something. I have nightmares about this. And a strong startle-response often when I think I've lost or forgot something.
For me, I drink approx 12 mugs (double cups/ day; 2x 12 cups pots of coffee, or even as many as 3-4 12-cup pots/ day).
?? Wow!! ? But I understand and I increased my caffeine intake and it helped. But I read research and caffeine do help to give the brains "conductor" more energy= decreasing the hyperactivity- but also the metabolites when it's being processed in the body lowers the GABA in the brain. And GABA has a calming effect.. so it's both a help and not. I get side-effects from too much coffee but not green tea or matcha-tea. And I found research saying green tea contains something that decreases the caffeines negative effect on GABA. Sorry for being nerdy.. ? but when something is interesting I can't let it go.

I've made progress with my diet and the worst and most hellish hyperactivity has been decreased a bit. So I'm coping a bit better. But the capacity to concentrate is still very poor.. and the forgetfulness. ? Will possibly see a psychologist in October to go over the screening tests. And then possibly get a referral- to then be put in the que for a full neuropsychological assessment. It might take a year or two.. ??
Fwiw with sugar, it's actually recommended when you study to sip on a sugary drink, as it's an instant hit to the pre-frontal cortex (Barkely).
I have a weak immune system and white sugar and fast processed carbohydrates make me ill. So it's no option for me. Fruit though is okay. But right now my diet is so good that my bloodsugar is much better and I don't even get hungry between meals. ??
I find it's helpful to just start with one thing you want to alter. Then, to figure out what is helpful, and what stands in the way
but doing only one thing is just soon boring... ??? Jokes aside I know you're right. But this some of the things I struggle so bad with. Right now I'm trying to just give my self a break and not change things so much. But only manage on a daily basis. (Though but hoping I'm not going to fail in the courses at school.)

Thank you SO much for your encouragement and advices! (Sorry my late reply. I forgot to answer.) ?
 
This is what I hope for- some help that can ease my stress and anxiety over the likely prospect of me loosing or forgetting something. I have nightmares about this. And a strong startle-response often when I think I've lost or forgot something.

That's what I mean by one thing- if the one thing is memory, start on systems to remember, and look at what you already do. For example, I don't leave clothes on the floor, so I'll leave or put a sock eg on the floor to remind me to flip or take out the laundry. Make lists. For me, keep it visual. Get a routine. Eliminate too many choices. Set alarms or reminders. If it takes under 5 minutes- do it. Prioritize what you need to remember. Do one thing at a time- multi tasking does not exist, it only reflects a shortened transition time between tasks, more difficult for ADD. That doesn't mean doing just one activity- or even reading one book- but some structure as to how much time will be spent on each. And breaks, especially mind or body clearing ones. Maybe keep an eye on your blood sugar, too. And depending on the content of 'what' thoughts are distracting you, you can identify if it's inner critic, procrastination, anxiety, depression, despair, etc. David Burns has some good tips for that, too. Also, if possible more strenuous short periods of exercise, and better sleep (not easy).

Re, the coffee- actually it's nuts. No one should require that much coffee, just to push through the exhaustion to keep going. And that's re: work. And not because of covid, though that's only put it over the top, though it already was. I understand and have done it in crises (prolonged too); I can see it in a crisis. But day-to-day shouldn't be crisis living. It comes at a price. The price will be 'you'.

Did you not say you do dressage? Think of the focus when you love it/ it's interesting. If you can tie love to what you do it will be more motivating.

Also, didn't you have covid? The brain fog et al can last months.

Best wishes to you! ?
 
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Stopped reading after page 1 to write my reply - might have been said already, but didn't see a "Friday response" when scrolling through, so here goes.

In terms of symptoms when co-morbid PTSD and ADHD, Friday made a REALLY good point about that in another thread (can't directly quote because thread is closed, here is the link to the post Bipolar - How does one distinguish bipolar-related anxiety from PTSD related anxiety?):

Friday said:
ADHD & PTSD

Experience means that shared symptoms usually feel different. But a lot of the time either they don’t, or they’re feeding off of each other... That gets complicated. Because I don’t have 3 types of the shared symptoms (ADHD, PTSD, ADHD+PTSD) more like 7 or 8. Because that 3rd combo? Isn’t just plus.
- Sometimes they’re each causing the other one. (Perpetual motion machine)
- Sometimes one is kickstarting the other, but each is independent of the other. (Ignition of an engine)
- Sometimes they both exist in the same space
- Sometimes one is moderating the other, reducing the effects, take care of the wrong one first and smackdown!!!
- Sometimes ...here, I’m avoiding sleep so here’s my most common breakdown ;)

A+B = ABABABABAB (perpetual motion, or dominoes)
A+B = A+B (engine & auto ignition)
A+B = AB (same space)
A+B = Æ (same space weirdly altered / pieces missing from one or both)
A+B = A>B (one is stronger than the other)
A+B = A>(B+A) (one is moderating the other)
A+B = Any of the above with a line through the other, because masking
A+B = C

Yep. See that last one? Sometimes if I have a double symtom is manifests as a third entirely different thing. Like Anxiety squared becomes Depression. Depression tricks won’t budge it. Instead, I have to use Anxiety tricks.

Which leads me into the surprisingly simple way I deal with shared symptoms if I can’t tsll where it’s originating from....

...I use both sets of coping mechanisms. See what sticks.

Sometimes only one set of skills has any effect. Okay. That was from that. Other times both sets are useless seperately, but useful together. Sometimes parts of this and parts of that. Et cetera. And sometimes I have to just say f*ckkit and start trying off the wall solutions. Because it may LOOK/FEEL like depression, but it’s actually just being overamped, so I’ve faceplanted. The “up” tricks to aid with depression? Just overamp me even more, creating an even “deeper depression”, or appear more intractable, resistant, etc. When it’s not, not really. I’m just trying to use a hammer when I need a screwdriver. Or trying to chop wood with a fish.

-----------------

If you have it, you've always been hyperactive, so it might be worth noting why it's problematic now. Often problems come when we can now longer be as physical as we were, due to factors such as age, illness and injuries, and then we really take a hit.

For someone with a late diagnosis for anything that's deemed "developmental"/innate, i.e. it has always been there, it's usually because they were able to cope and mask all their life for one reason or another, until suddenly they lose one or more coping mechanisms, whether healthy or unhealthy ones.

I crashed when I suddenly lost literally ALL and any external routine half-way through my PhD, after I finished all formal course work, and was 100% on my own schedule (with no fixed work schedule) as well as my health taking a dip/chronic fatigue getting worse, preventing me from my life long usual all-nighters. That's also when my PTSD started rearing it's head more than before and spiraled my into full-symptomatic that were enough for diagnosis (because: Stress-cup, I've had <some> symptoms before, but they probably wouldn't have been enough for a diagnosis).

@zaniara I recommend spending more time reading along in ADHD social media groups, talking with diagnosed folks there, digging through Additude.com articles and maybe taking a peek into Hallowell's books, as well as a couple youtube channels (How to ADHD is a good one). And then see what resonates with you, especially things outside what could be attributed to PTSD. And if the gut feeling remains ... go seek an evaluation. Dig up school reports, maybe talk to family members who've known you since forever, friends, ... depending on who's diagnosing and your country's system (not too familiar with how Sweden handles this), they may want to see those reports/interviews
 
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recommend spending more time reading along in ADHD social media groups, talking with diagnosed folks there, digging through Additude.com articles and maybe taking a peek into Hallowell's books, as well as a couple youtube channels (How to ADHD is a good one). And then see what resonates with you, especially things outside what could be attributed to PTSD. And if the gut feeling remains ... go seek an evaluation. Dig up school reports, maybe talk to family members who've known you since forever, friends, ... depending on who's diagnosing and your country's system (not too familiar with how Sweden handles this), they may want to see those reports/interviews
Thank you so much for sharing that! ? And good tips.

I've been doing most of those things for some time. And I also read a very good new book about how ADHD in women "works". All the information sort of caused a revolution in my life (in my understanding of my self- but also in my ability to finally start feeling self-compassion). Things hasn't really settled yet really, but I've been screened for ADHD and got an extremely high points in those tests. Friends whom known me didn't lift an eye-brow when I spoke to them about tjis. But I will let the due process proceed and let the experts evaluate. And I will let go of trying to "fix it" and change too many things in my life right now because when I tried to it made the stress-cup overflow and I got triggered and then almost ended up in a closed psych-ward (first time in many years). (Have gotten could help with the PTSD though so I manage that part better. = except when the stress-cup overflow too much by trying to "fix stuff" on my own too fast ?). Have eased up a bit on reading about, listening to pods and digging up facts- because I can't manage so well with school right now nor cope with the emotions it awakes in me. (Both good and bad. = relief and grief..)

My adult daughter is in the middle of the process and they said she shows really strong signs of ADHD. (And she doesn't have PTSD.)

What you shared made a lot of sense. Its the combination of PTSD I wanted to hear if anybody else dealt with. Because they sure can trigger each other. ? (and not only cause a+b but also c.. )


Did you not say you do dressage? Think of the focus when you love it/ it's interesting. If you can tie love to what you do it will be more motivating.

Also, didn't you have covid? The brain fog et al can last months.
I used to ride when I was young. But I can't afford it now. Unfortunately. It helped a lot. Thank you again for all your advices! I will read them again. Just need to take it slow with "trying" too much or change to much right now- can't cope so well. (Am trying to navigate through it more carefully than my normally act when I "see the problem" and want to fix it.) And I really do need professional help. Will try to be patient and just take one day at a time.

Brain fog doesn't help no. But it somehow actually slows me down a bit.. ? not a all bad thing. ?
But day-to-day shouldn't be crisis living. It comes at a price. The price will be 'you
That's really true! ?
 
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