As usual, when I'm scrabbling around trying to stop myself sliding down the slippery slope, I have been thinking. I have a question, which I will also try to answer myself, but would appreciate some insight from you all (or maybe a couple of people, as the forum's getting quite big and I don't think I would have the concentration to read 167 replies!!! :eek:
Why is it that I am able to concentrate and focus exceptionally well when thinking about how to deal with a work situation, yet I am unable to maintain that same level of concentration to do other stuff like watching a movie or reading a non-fiction book?
This is something that has been commented on by people in my life: "you say ptsd stops you from concentrating, but you seem to be dealing with X or Y well enough".
My feelings about this type of comment (other than immediate anger) is frustration, as I can see their point, but I am unable to explain it. These people then think that I am just being fraudulent because I can't give a logical explanation. Of course, these people could just ask my psychologist, but that would be far too easy and it might mean that they would have to do something inconvenient to them. :angry-fla
OK. Short break to calm myself. :redface:
Here's what I think.
The particular work situation in question is explained on another part of this forum, so I won't go into detail here. However, I think the reason I can focus on it and stand up for myself is because it directly triggers the survival side of the ptsd. If I cannot work, I lose my home and job and income and cannot afford therapy. As a result, I think my brain is accepting that lots of effort is required to find a solution.
In comparison, watching a movie is not exactly going to make a significant difference to my future (unless it's a REALLY good movie). Nor is doing piles of admin just so a box can be ticked on a piece of paper to say that I've done it, when actually doing it has no other value whatsoever (don't you just love red-tape?). Therefore, I think my brain just decides it has better things to deal with, so won't allow me to concentrate on these less significant tasks.
By the way, I am aware that I have been talking about my brain like it has a mind of its own. Comment on that too if you wish -does anyone else feel like they have an internal battle between what the ptsd part of you needs and what the "here and now" part of you wants to do? Maybe I am just crazy....:crazy-eye
Anyway, I'll shut up now. I look forward to your thoughts on this.
Why is it that I am able to concentrate and focus exceptionally well when thinking about how to deal with a work situation, yet I am unable to maintain that same level of concentration to do other stuff like watching a movie or reading a non-fiction book?
This is something that has been commented on by people in my life: "you say ptsd stops you from concentrating, but you seem to be dealing with X or Y well enough".
My feelings about this type of comment (other than immediate anger) is frustration, as I can see their point, but I am unable to explain it. These people then think that I am just being fraudulent because I can't give a logical explanation. Of course, these people could just ask my psychologist, but that would be far too easy and it might mean that they would have to do something inconvenient to them. :angry-fla
OK. Short break to calm myself. :redface:
Here's what I think.
The particular work situation in question is explained on another part of this forum, so I won't go into detail here. However, I think the reason I can focus on it and stand up for myself is because it directly triggers the survival side of the ptsd. If I cannot work, I lose my home and job and income and cannot afford therapy. As a result, I think my brain is accepting that lots of effort is required to find a solution.
In comparison, watching a movie is not exactly going to make a significant difference to my future (unless it's a REALLY good movie). Nor is doing piles of admin just so a box can be ticked on a piece of paper to say that I've done it, when actually doing it has no other value whatsoever (don't you just love red-tape?). Therefore, I think my brain just decides it has better things to deal with, so won't allow me to concentrate on these less significant tasks.
By the way, I am aware that I have been talking about my brain like it has a mind of its own. Comment on that too if you wish -does anyone else feel like they have an internal battle between what the ptsd part of you needs and what the "here and now" part of you wants to do? Maybe I am just crazy....:crazy-eye
Anyway, I'll shut up now. I look forward to your thoughts on this.