Maybe, maybe not. There are many factors we don’t know about that could influence your parenting.
Some considerations: Do you want to become a parent right now? Are you ready for the level of responsibility for another life that will be required? Do you have adequate resources and support? How does the baby’s father feel about the news? Will he be helping, and is this guaranteed? What kinds of sacrifices might you need to make, and will your child end up suffering if it turns out you’re not well prepared?
I grew up in a household where I wasn’t planned for (nor was I wanted), and I paid a steep price for the decisions made by my parents—I’m still trying to undo the damage. Not all such stories end like mine, of course, but I also know I’m not alone in this
PTSD doesn't mean you're unable to be a parent or take care of a child, it does add extra challenges though. Worth getting extra support in place before the child is born and maybe some parenting classes and things if you haven't had healthy role models in your own life.
How symptomatic are you? How well-managed are you? (2 very different questions). How stable is your life? What would your life look like with a child? Do you want to be a parent &/or like kids? And a hundred other things.
- I was about 80% sorted when I had my son, and he’s directly responsible for that jumping up to about 92% sorted... and I spent the next 10 years virtually asymptomatic and exquisitely managed. Both because I had to be, to be the mom I wanted to be, and I was able to be.
- When my symptoms all came flooding back, however? It didn’t matter how much I wanted things to be different, nor how much I needed to be. My life got royally f*cked, and my ability to be a good parent? Was crushed for a few years. I still managed to be a parent, but not the kind I wanted to be, and even that was only because my time with him was so limited AND because it was my number 1 priority. Not being a parent during those years would have allowed me to sort my shit a thousand times easier, but being a parent was my only reason to sort it.
From observation? Some of the best parents I’ve ever known have had PTSD. And some of the worst. And a lot of middling so-so. Some of that comes down to disorder, some personality, some just life-stuff. So it’s not as simple as whether or not someone has the disorder if they’d be good or bad parents. Nor is it automatic kids would make having the disorder easier or harder. Helluva lot of factors involved.
During this time within the world, with unemployment, Natural Disasters, Covid, ect - many people are suffering from PTSD. That is not to minimize but to offer a reality that a birth Mom that wants to be a parent from her heart is a blessing. It is a personal choice to take a journey with another and learn how to be the best you can be for them as well as yourself. I am still working on it and my Son is 40.
When I look back on all my successes as well as my failures... one thing I am sure of...I do it all again to see him smile, achieve, dream and make a difference in this world to others as well as myself. Life is a gift. Love is a gift. May you find your answers within your heart, courage and fortitude. We are more than our PTSD. Believe