Nam
MyPTSD Pro
I might be over reacting and nit picking into something that doesn't need to be, but I'm frustrated with my hub.
Last night, he told me he was kind of upset with me and worried about me all at the same time. I don't really know what it is. He has a hard time just coming out and saying how he feels. He can ramble on like nothing else if it has to do with servers and networking....very, very, frustrating. :wall: Anyway, we ended going to bed upset. He was mad, although he fell asleep in about two minutes, and me, I was in tears and up until four in the morning, trying to figure out what he's mad about. So, now I wonder if he's comparing me to what I was a few weeks ago to now. I had just started a new med and I was on a sort of "high". I was happy and enjoyed being at home. I was cleaning, and cooking, and taking the kids to the pool. But that has since worn off, and I'm just in the middle. I'm hurt because I feel that I'm doing okay. Sure I have bad days, but I have great days too. No, the house isn't clean, and sometimes I just want to escape the children, but for the most part, I'm doing okay. I do fill quite a few hours of the day doing what makes me feel good. I like to sew and read, so that is what I've been doing lately, (both that don't require children!). I think he wants me to be so many things all at the same time, all of the time: happy, sexy, upbeat, cheerful, outgoing, etc. I feel pressure from him. I know he has this effect on me. A while ago, he put pressure on me to find a job and I tried (I applied for over 10 jobs with only one response...) I was incredibly stressed out and axious. I finally burst into tears and told him that I wanted to stay home. So that is what I'm doing. (It is not easy, however...there is no escape) So, I've been thinking I'm doing good, until he told me I wasn't. He won't give me any details of his opinion. So I'm left to figure this out. mmmmmm. :dontknow:
Last night, he told me he was kind of upset with me and worried about me all at the same time. I don't really know what it is. He has a hard time just coming out and saying how he feels. He can ramble on like nothing else if it has to do with servers and networking....very, very, frustrating. :wall: Anyway, we ended going to bed upset. He was mad, although he fell asleep in about two minutes, and me, I was in tears and up until four in the morning, trying to figure out what he's mad about. So, now I wonder if he's comparing me to what I was a few weeks ago to now. I had just started a new med and I was on a sort of "high". I was happy and enjoyed being at home. I was cleaning, and cooking, and taking the kids to the pool. But that has since worn off, and I'm just in the middle. I'm hurt because I feel that I'm doing okay. Sure I have bad days, but I have great days too. No, the house isn't clean, and sometimes I just want to escape the children, but for the most part, I'm doing okay. I do fill quite a few hours of the day doing what makes me feel good. I like to sew and read, so that is what I've been doing lately, (both that don't require children!). I think he wants me to be so many things all at the same time, all of the time: happy, sexy, upbeat, cheerful, outgoing, etc. I feel pressure from him. I know he has this effect on me. A while ago, he put pressure on me to find a job and I tried (I applied for over 10 jobs with only one response...) I was incredibly stressed out and axious. I finally burst into tears and told him that I wanted to stay home. So that is what I'm doing. (It is not easy, however...there is no escape) So, I've been thinking I'm doing good, until he told me I wasn't. He won't give me any details of his opinion. So I'm left to figure this out. mmmmmm. :dontknow: