Relationship PTSD BF left me after 16 years

[Sunny Arnold]

Needing some help. My boyfriend who I’ve been with for 16 years left me today. He said we both needed to move on and that he did love me, just wasn’t in love with me anymore. He’s been diagnosed with PTSD for a year now and moved out of our home 8 months ago but we were still seeing each other/spending nights a few times a week. This last month he told me he needed time to himself to clear his mind and then today told me we’re done. I’m absolutely heartbroken bc it caught me completely off guard. I Was giving him time bc I thought that’s what he needed and that it would help him to recover. It’s obviously just made him realize he’s fine without me. Is this normal with PTSD? He’s in weekly therapy if that means anything.

 

[joeylittle]

Hi @Sunny Arnold - just letting you know I've moved your thread into our Supporter's section. I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend leaving.

How was the relationship prior to his PTSD diagnosis?

And, was his traumatic event recent?

 

[Sunny Arnold]

Hi @Sunny Arnold - just letting you know I've moved your thread into our Supporter's section. I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend leaving.

How was the relationship prior to his PTSD diagnosis?

And, was his traumatic event recent?

ok thank you! And we had ups and downs like any relationship but we never split up or separated. I believe he suffers more from CPTSD - a little background - he was diagnosed with PTSD a little over a year ago after the death of his father. His father was extremely abusive and my boyfriend also suffered abuse (physically, mentally and emotionally) from other family members since infancy through his teenage years. About a year ago his father passed away and it brought up all of the childhood trauma he’d suppressed his entire life. Even things he didn’t remember happened and he has continuous flashbacks of his abuse. He will not take medication bc he tried and it made him very suicidal - but goes to weekly therapy with a counselor (only saw a psychiatrist once)

 

[Sweetpea76]

Is this normal with PTSD?

Normal for PTSD… that’s hard to define.

His diagnosis is pretty new, and it sounds like he hasn’t been symptomatic long enough to know what is typical for him. Hell, my sufferer has been symptomatic the whole decade we’ve been together, and he still throws me for a loop sometimes.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It has to be devastating.

 

[Sunny Arnold]

Normal for PTSD… that’s hard to define.

His diagnosis is pretty new, and it sounds like he hasn’t been symptomatic long enough to know what is typical for him. Hell, my sufferer has been symptomatic the whole decade we’ve been together, and he still throws me for a loop sometimes.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It has to be devastating.

Thank you

 

[caroline_13]

Hi Sunny Arnold,

I don't know what to say to offer support: relationships are so complicated, aren't they?

What makes you feel good that you can still do?