Hi. I’ve spent a lot of time reading these posts, trying to understand what was happening in my relationship but I thought it was time to post. I am just feeling quite lost and devastated and am now turning to this forum.
6 months ago I met a man that won my heart in the matter of days-and I am not someone who falls in love at the drop of a hat. He was so sure about me, about us, right from the start. He made me promise to be open and honest and he would do the same. We talked about what our ideal relationships would look like and we wanted the same things. We talked about our future, and any challenge we faced, we did it together.
I’m a child and youth therapist who was already suffering from anxiety, depression and burnout when we met. He was a Marine and was very open about his trauma and gave me subtle warnings of PTSD and I saw glimpses of isolation and withdrawing but only for a day or two.
I flew us to Mexico for a couple weeks and we both hoped that it would take the pressure off our lives. He was starting (now I can see) to exhibit signs of withdrawal and I was practically suicidal from my own situation. Mexico was not easy (for me mostly) but he really stepped up and he was a dream man there. We ended up having a wonderful time and he was so loving and grateful.
The day after we returned, he changed. It started with extreme guilt over not being a good parent to his kids. He used this as the original excuse to push me away. He refused to see me. When he did, he would apologize and hold me but was still not himself. I went downhill quickly as I had no idea how to process that a man that adored me only a week or two ago, no longer could communicate or even look at me. I was able to gather myself and offer support to him for the most part but I did breakdown a couple times and tell him how hurt I was-which only caused him anger. After 3 weeks, and very little contact, he decided I was (or our relationship) causing too much anger and he ended our relationship. I am devastated. When he came to drop off my stuff, he said that he needs to do this (get help) on his own. He has reached out to his doctor and Veteran Affairs for help. But I’m struggling to process how our loving and open relationship became one where he hates and blames me for his pain. I guess I have to accept it’s over, but part of me wonders if he’s ever going to snap out of his crisis mode and acknowledge his hurtful behavior and be the man I fell in love with. That man was always there to listen, be accountable and gentle.
I had been healing and doing all the right things for my own sake in spite of our painful interactions but now with the breakup, I’m dealing with heartache. I feel so hurt and tossed away, like maybe I never knew the man I loved so deeply.
6 months ago I met a man that won my heart in the matter of days-and I am not someone who falls in love at the drop of a hat. He was so sure about me, about us, right from the start. He made me promise to be open and honest and he would do the same. We talked about what our ideal relationships would look like and we wanted the same things. We talked about our future, and any challenge we faced, we did it together.
I’m a child and youth therapist who was already suffering from anxiety, depression and burnout when we met. He was a Marine and was very open about his trauma and gave me subtle warnings of PTSD and I saw glimpses of isolation and withdrawing but only for a day or two.
I flew us to Mexico for a couple weeks and we both hoped that it would take the pressure off our lives. He was starting (now I can see) to exhibit signs of withdrawal and I was practically suicidal from my own situation. Mexico was not easy (for me mostly) but he really stepped up and he was a dream man there. We ended up having a wonderful time and he was so loving and grateful.
The day after we returned, he changed. It started with extreme guilt over not being a good parent to his kids. He used this as the original excuse to push me away. He refused to see me. When he did, he would apologize and hold me but was still not himself. I went downhill quickly as I had no idea how to process that a man that adored me only a week or two ago, no longer could communicate or even look at me. I was able to gather myself and offer support to him for the most part but I did breakdown a couple times and tell him how hurt I was-which only caused him anger. After 3 weeks, and very little contact, he decided I was (or our relationship) causing too much anger and he ended our relationship. I am devastated. When he came to drop off my stuff, he said that he needs to do this (get help) on his own. He has reached out to his doctor and Veteran Affairs for help. But I’m struggling to process how our loving and open relationship became one where he hates and blames me for his pain. I guess I have to accept it’s over, but part of me wonders if he’s ever going to snap out of his crisis mode and acknowledge his hurtful behavior and be the man I fell in love with. That man was always there to listen, be accountable and gentle.
I had been healing and doing all the right things for my own sake in spite of our painful interactions but now with the breakup, I’m dealing with heartache. I feel so hurt and tossed away, like maybe I never knew the man I loved so deeply.