DID PTSD Dissociation vs Alter switching

HealingMama

Sponsor
If you have alters or parts, how would you describe your switching amongst parts separately from PTSD specific dissociation? We had an intense experience in therapy today where we almost blacked out and one side of the body went totally numb, and we are trying to figure out if this was a part trying to take over the body or just a fear reaction due to triggering the PTSD. We had to do a lot of grounding, and we asked the gatekeeper part to bring further back anyone that was trying to come out. Me as the host is not ready to give up total control like that but I am seeking information to understand if that's what a "full switch" can be like.
 

Sideways

Moderator
For me, switching has always happened pretty seamlessly. EitherI know it's happened (because, after years of work, I've finally got some decent internal communication going on with major parts!), or I only become aware it's happened in retrospect (which is how it happened for the first 20 odd years of having DID without a diagnosis, and continues to happen even now working with my parts).

Others may have different experiences, but the only 'struggle' between parts that I experience comes out as lots of internal noise when one of my parts is unhappy with what's going on, but is prepared to talk to me about it (thanks to a lot of therapy!) rather than just take over.
 

HealingMama

Sponsor
For me, switching has always happened pretty seamlessly. EitherI know it's happened (because, after years of work, I've finally got some decent internal communication going on with major parts!), or I only become aware it's happened in retrospect (which is how it happened for the first 20 odd years of having DID without a diagnosis, and continues to happen even now working with my parts).

Others may have different experiences, but the only 'struggle' between parts that I experience comes out as lots of internal noise when one of my parts is unhappy with what's going on, but is prepared to talk to me about it (thanks to a lot of therapy!) rather than just take over.
Thank you for sharing. Are these full switches you are describing with some amount of time loss? If you don't mind my asking.

My switching is usually like an old red view master where there's a sensory click, and the affect and felt sense are all different from what came before it. But, the whole session was about a particular part that's been acting strange after sessions and causing the whole system to have some complications. I am working on internal communication. I am probably rushing the process.
 

Sideways

Moderator
Are these full switches you are describing with some amount of time loss?
It used to always involve time loss. Occasionally these days I can have an internal agreement to switch and not lose time. But for the most part, it still involves time loss.

I wouldn't say that I ever 'partially' switch. Sometimes there's internal dialogue going on, sometimes there isn't, but my parts either take control, or talk to me internally. That's in a DID context though, and I'm not sure if (with DID), 'partial' switching has ever been described? That may be the case for folks with DDNOS (or whatever they call that now), I'm not sure.
 

HealingMama

Sponsor
It used to always involve time loss. Occasionally these days I can have an internal agreement to switch and not lose time. But for the most part, it still involves time loss.

I wouldn't say that I ever 'partially' switch. Sometimes there's internal dialogue going on, sometimes there isn't, but my parts either take control, or talk to me internally. That's in a DID context though, and I'm not sure if (with DID), 'partial' switching has ever been described? That may be the case for folks with DDNOS (or whatever they call that now), I'm not sure.
Yeah I'm not sure I'm using technical/clinical language. I am almost always a host self sharing the body with another part that's either inside and communicating somatically or on the surface with me but I'm still here too (exception being severe fight mode stuff). Sometimes I wonder if I have the shell alter thing.

Sometimes it feels like a part comes out front and then gets stuck out here, and I can't get to the modes I use for the activities of that day (such as temporarily forgetting work knowledge/skills).

I still have a lot of fear around having parts, communication, etc, but I'm working on it. I do believe I saw somewhere that in the UK they conceptualize OSDD 1b as "partial DID" so that might be where I got that use of the word.
 

HealingMama

Sponsor
Also how it is for me.

I've had a few times when I felt "pushed," but there has never been a struggle. If someone wants to take control of the body, they just do.
Thank you. Today didn't feel like a struggle so much as I was leaving and didn't want to. Typing that out definitely makes it sound like a struggle, though. I've had dissociative moments like that, such as when I rushed EMDR with a new provider, but the parts conversation is a context that is new for me in therapy so I'm trying to understand how it looks.
 

Sideways

Moderator
but the parts conversation is a context that is new for me in therapy so I'm trying to understand how it looks.
You use your journal really productively to dialogue with yourself through issues that you're working on. Perhaps it would work for you if you gave this other side the opportunity to do their own journalling, about their issues, or how they feel about things going on. Finding that same inner voice that you express in your journal, but trying to be more open to the alternative inner perspectives you have on things?
 

HealingMama

Sponsor
Oh yeah. I think that willingness to "leave" comes with a lot of time and work.
Yeah, I always thought my parts were just parts, like OSDD 1b parts. If it's possible that any of them could take over the body entirely I have to really take my time getting used to that.
 

Ireusa

Confident
Yeah, I always thought my parts were just parts, like OSDD 1b parts
There is a very fine line between OSDD and DID. Fragmentation occurs in a continuum so your parts haven't changed. Focusing on diagnosis sometimes leads to more confusion.

I've told my current therapist many times that I want a roadmap...It would come handy to us all huh.

I have experienced both partial switches (sensing a part is active, hearing their thoughts or feeling some of their feelings but still being active) and kind of full switches but without much amnesia (another part "getting active and in control" while I am not very active at all but remember most things said, with lots of fuzziness

My diagnosis is currently PTSD and OSDD. Sending love 💜.
 

HealingMama

Sponsor
There is a very fine line between OSDD and DID. Fragmentation occurs in a continuum so your parts haven't changed. Focusing on diagnosis sometimes leads to more confusion.

I've told my current therapist many times that I want a roadmap...It would come handy to us all huh.

I have experienced both partial switches (sensing a part is active, hearing their thoughts or feeling some of their feelings but still being active) and kind of full switches but without much amnesia (another part "getting active and in control" while I am not very active at all but remember most things said, with lots of fuzziness

My diagnosis is currently PTSD and OSDD. Sending love 💜.
Thank you. My T hasn't formally dx me with a dissociative disorder. But I basically asked for that, I don't mind being dx with PTSD but worry about possible ramifications of a dissociative disorder on my record. She's been cool about it so far. She dodges the dx question also. I gave myself the MID twice now (you aren't supposed to do that but I'm stubborn) and once the result suggested unspecified dissociative disorder and the second time suggested DID.

I relate to both types of switches you described. Thanks for sharing ☺️
 
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