Sufferer PTSD from trying to save Mother from sudden cardiac death

SB17

Not Active
Super confused on how to navigate this sight. I have no clue where to post my story appropriately. Not many stories on witnessing a mother’s sudden cardiac death. While trying to frantically save her with CPR for 14 mins until EMA got here. She died in my home. Then a few months later having to throw myself into taking care of my Dad. Staying with him and doing everything for him. Traumas witnessed there as well. 9 months after my mother passed. I slowly watched my Dad die. Maybe this is the wrong site. I’m new to reaching out period. Even more so online.
thanks
 

grief

Sponsor
welcome to the site @SB17. you are in the right place. and within your introduction is a perfectly fine area to share your story. there is also a section of the site where you can post in detail about your trauma labeled "trauma diaries." if you so choose. witnessing a loved ones' death is almost universally difficult regardless of the circumstances and i regret that you endured this experience. and glad that you are able to reach out. often times the nature of the internet provides a sense of security and freedom to speak of things that may otherwise go unsaid.
 

SB17

Not Active
welcome to the site @SB17. you are in the right place. and within your introduction is a perfectly fine area to share your story. there is also a section of the site where you can post in detail about your trauma labeled "trauma diaries." if you so choose. witnessing a loved ones' death is almost universally difficult regardless of the circumstances and i regret that you endured this experience. and glad that you are able to reach out. often times the nature of the internet provides a sense of security and freedom to speak of things that may otherwise go unsaid.
Thank you for your reply. The internet has not not really been a platform that I thought I would want to share my story with. Then again, my hope is maybe I could find someone who understands what I’ve been through. Or has been through the same thing.
 

AngelkeeperJ

Sponsor
Welcome to the Forum! I am sorry for your losses... There are no words to express the depths of pain from losing your family members.

I was present for my 11 year old daughter's death, my grandmother's death and my father's death. It took a long time to "come back" but it can be done💜

Blessings of peace to you...
 

SB17

Not Active
Welcome to the Forum! I am sorry for your losses... There are no words to express the depths of pain from losing your family members.

I was present for my 11 year old daughter's death, my grandmother's death and my father's death. It took a long time to "come back" but it can be done💜

Blessings of peace to you...
Oh my goodness. I’m sorry for your losses as well. I could not imagine losing my children. A few months before my mother’s death we lost my son’s best friend. He was like my son. I still couldn’t imagine. I hope you have been well lately. ❤️
 

AngelkeeperJ

Sponsor
Oh my goodness. I’m sorry for your losses as well. I could not imagine losing my children. A few months before my mother’s death we lost my son’s best friend. He was like my son. I still couldn’t imagine. I hope you have been well lately. ❤️
Thank you for your kind words! I am doing better than I ever thought I would. Even though there have been some crushing emotions and grief along the way I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything. I know what the last moments were like for the ones' who passed away and that gives me the peace and joy I need to move forward.

WE are stronger than we ever thought we could be!❤️

(My son lost his best friend almost 7 years ago...he was also my best friend's son. It was mind-numbing grief for a long time.)

My faith has brought me through the worst of the worst...
 

SB17

Not Active
People told me that my mother didn’t die alone and that was a good thing. She actually smiled after she died. Some might say that was nerves. For me, I like to think she was met with something amazing on the other side. Conformation of things to come. 🙌 She cried out to Jesus to help her in those final moments. I think he did.
We really are stronger than we think we are! Even though I would like to be further along. My grief got stuck. I diverted every chance I could. In 2 years we lost my son’s best friend, my mother, my father and recently my cousin I grew up with. Plus my oldest dog. So I had to realize I’ve been through so much and that it was ok to break down. Still trying to figure it all out. It’s hard walking around feeling like pieces of me are missing. Just trying to find a common ground of normal.
the hardest of it all is feeling helpless while trying to save someone. There was nothing I could’ve done. The 911 operator guided me perfectly. It was just her time. At least I have made piece with that part. I suppose I just need to stop fighting it all and see a therapist.
those moments do creep back into my mind. I’m ready for that to be over. That’s not how it works. I know.
 
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