Ptsd Logic Says....

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So, creating another fun thread for jokes! This one's for all those random times our ptsd blows something out of proportion over everyday things. Try to make it funny, joke time!

Ptsd logic says...

Sudden loud noise... Quick, jump ten feet in the air! Take a defensive posture! Life threatening situation, ATTACK THE LOUD NOISE! Then stop and wonder wtf you're doing...

Person suddenly enters your line of sight while you're in a bad mood... Quick, rip their head off (figuratively) to prevent them from mentally or physically harming you! Then stop and wonder wtf you're doing, and apologize...

Someone is shaking you to wake you up... You're being attacked, QUICK PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE, SWING AT THEM, BACKHAND THEM, OR THROW SOMETHING AT THEM! And then stop, wonder wtf you're doing, and possibly yell at them because they woke you up... then stop again and apologize.

Someone lights off a firework because the fourth of July is near... GUNSHOT, QUICK LOCK THE DOORS AND SHUT ALL THE BLINDS SO THAT THE IMAGINARY MAN OUTSIDE CAN'T SEE YOU! And then try to calm yourself down and remind yourself that you're safe and people are just celebrating a holiday...

Someone raises their voice at you... Don't take that kind of abuse, yell back at them and be more intimidating!

Someone corners you while yelling... YOU'RE UNDER ATTACK, GRAB ANYTHING NEARBY AND THROW IT AT THEM! And then when they run away, storm off in anger and go calm down.

So many more, but can't remember them off the top of my head, lol. Add more jokes to the list!
 

Seasounds

MyPTSD Pro
When my therapist made a blunder:rolleyes: I became incensed :banghead::mad:

Doing my best to be with my reactions while being respectful, I accessed some learnings from studying movement. I said, calmly, while moving from sitting, to standing, to walking, and posting myself at the door, :stop: "To be clear, I am allowing my body to be congruent with my emotional reaction to what you said."

At the moment it helped me associate when I was frightened. Now it seems a bit melodramatic.

My therapist saw the error and apologized. I eventually sat down.:dead:
 
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Ocean5

MyPTSD Pro
On the darker side of humor. btw, I have no issues with spiders and insects.

Problem Solved

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Someone you don't know comes up to you and starts talking to you
THEY ARE PLANNING TO HURT YOU
IDENTIFY LIKELIHOOD OF THREAT
ESTIMATE SURVIVAL SUCCESS
OH DEAR LORD IM GONNA DIE
Didn't your therapist say to relax when this happens?
Don't be scared.
YES AGREED BE PREPARED INSTEAD
COULD YOU TAKE THEM IN A FIGHT IF IT CAME TO THAT
IT PROBABLY WILL
Didn't your therapist say to rank people on a 1-10 scale of danger?...
NEVERMIND THINK OF A PHYSICAL STRATEGY
LOCATE TARGET AREAS
GEAR UP AND GET READY TO BE ATTACKED
Ok stop. Let's get realistic now.
PLAN B
Where are all the exists located?
Position yourself so you can see everyone entering the room at all times
Turn hypervigilance on
Monitor everything
Yes much better
Look how safe I am
Nothing bad happens to me now
Why would I ever stop doing this
Wonder how "normal" people cope
 
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M

Mel14830

I just realized I am a child of someone struggling with PTSD...

Those were some of my dad's symptoms and many of them became mine although I never served in a war or as a military personel. He did serve, although I didn't think he actually fought anywhere, just built air strips in England.
 
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Stickler

MyPTSD Pro
I don't call you because you scared my littles...and they will TELL ME THIS in three months. But in the meantime I will forget to call a lot. :banghead:

PTSD logic: people may want to kill me. Even though they don't know me.
 
D

Deleted member 19804

PTSD logic says: there's someone walking behind me. It's probably a man. Why is he still there? Go away! Maybe I should start running.. but what if he follows me? Shit, I need to get some place where there are more people! But crowds scare me. Should I call the police? No, no, it's probably nothing. Relax. Breathe. But what if he is going to hurt me? Or someone else? I could never forgive myself! He'll go on hurting other people and it'll all be my fault!
....
Oh, he just turned a corner. Phew.
...
I'm a crazy person.
 
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