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PTSD Nightmare

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I am a nursing student I go to sleep every night and watch my fiancee die a part of me feels like thats in part because my ex husband tried dying in my arms and told me not to save him I did its been a yr since that happened but I am so scared to fall asleep just to watch the man I love die anysuggestions on how to make it stop
 
ouchus, maximus. that's a tough connection to break.

i suggest a dream journal. it might help you process the event to a level where you can let it go more easily. when i keep a dream journal, i keep it on my night stand so that i can record the details before i even get out of bed. keeping a glass of water next to the journal lets me wash the taste of the nightmare out of my mouth before i begin journaling.

steadying support while you find what works for you. i hope healing happens here.
 
Oy! I was pregnant & a new mom when I started nursing school. >.< Bad plan. Bad plan. >.< PTSD Trauma Brain + Mommy Brain + Nursing Student Brain??? = How many horrible ways can my baby die? We’ll find 124 new ways by tomorrow, assuming there’s only 1 life threatening condition per page. And then let’s go ahead and merge everything I’m learning, with everything I’ve lived through, toss them in a blender, and leave the lid off!!!

It was a brutal time in my life, as far as sleep went. ESP as during my lag year I started up 2 more majors, and was working in the ER for my acute care hours.

Anyone and everyone I’ve ever loved died terribly, or by my hand, over and over again. Doing pararescue (SAR swimmer, USMC) & NGO work formed this PERFECT bridge between my trauma/past, my nightmares, and my waking life.

Too much nightmare fuel.

Just like with your Ex.

I’ve never found a way to get rid of nightmares (although prazosin is a blood pressure med with the curious side effect of causing most people to forget their nightmares, I do not happen to be one of those people). Evenduring my otherwise asymptomatic years I’d still suffer from at least a few short jags of insomnia/nightmares, and a seriously long run of them sometime in the autumn. When my symptoms are running hot, I can be embroiled in nightmares for months on end.

What I concentrated on instead, was getting better sleep; by flipping the problem around.

My best trick I learned from a combo of my physiological psych courses whilst potty training…

1) sheet the bed multiple times (waterproof protector, base sheet / protector, sheet // protector, sheet /// protector, sheet //// as many times as necessary. I was usually in the 3-7 range).

Waking up drenched in sweat/swear (stinking of the chemicals our bodies excrete in terror/rage, even if we can’t smell/taste them, our brains can, & our anxiety naturally increases in the presence of those pheromones, cortisols, etc.)… I would

- stand up
- strip the first layer,
- drop them in front of my washing maschine, along with my clothes
- step into the shower
- step out / towel off / dress if I so chose
- fall into a completely clean bed, a completely clean me
- and sleeeeeeeep

Total Elapsed Time = 30-90 seconds.

This is from previous to this I would JOLT awake and it would take me hours to settle my system down (if I could, at all); more often than not fighting panic attacks & anxiety attacks & generalized ickiness; and even longer to fall back asleep (if I could, at all).

Clearly, nothing works for everyone, and it’s far from the only skill I ever apply (like I get better sleep in the daytime, than at night, in fewer hours; get better sleep when my bed is in my living area instead of sequestered; get better sleep when I workout right before bed; etc.)… but man oh man oh man…I looooove this bossing my brain around to only lose minutes of sleep per night, even in the midst of a wicked nightmare cycle.
 
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