Ptsd poetry anyone?

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
I get a lot out of reading and writing poetry. I wrote this today......anyone else got a poem, some lines, a PTSD limerick, an ode, cute, sad, or funny? Usually, mine are a mix.

Here is my poetry I did today:

The Journey from Oz to Grandma's House

Suddenly............ I'm Dorothy,
Lost, alone with only green little weirdo people in a strange land hated by a crazy wicked witch,
Alone,
Afraid,
Confused,
Surviving,
Brain Damaged (from an accident involving a twister)
and I can't go back,
"I can, I can, I can move forward....follow the Yellow Brick Road and find my clan,
Then I will feel safe and at home,
Keep following the path.....keep walking....keep trying.....I'll find what I'm looking for....I have to," I say to myself encouragingly.

Suddenly......I'm the Gingerbread Man,
Racing down the Yellow Brick Road and terrified I'll be eaten alive,
Alone,
Scared,
Confused,
Totally paranoid from being followed by what I thought were hungry Munchkins,
Brain damaged, (my head didn't bake right in utero)
and I can't go back,
It's not safe,
"Dorothy's wrong.....no time for others....they aren't safe,
Just keep running, as fast as I can....trust no one,
Survival is the key," I tell myself.

Suddenly........I'm the Little Red Hen,
The sky is falling and I'm running hard, off to warn the King...save myself and the Kingdom,
Alone,
Afraid,
Confused,
Surviving,
Brain damaged (I think I had a TBI-something fell from the sky and hit my head-I'm not right),
I can't go back,
It's not safe,
"Trust no one, absolutely no one, "I think.
"Screw the King and the kingdom and hide inside, "I say to myself, "where it is safe."
So I run to my brick house and curl up in bed.

Suddenly........I'm an old, withered up, bitter and forgotten Grandma sitting in bed,
I hear a knock at the door then a mean wolf saunters in, grinning.
Alone,
Terrified,
Confused,
Still surviving,
Brain damaged (from long-term PTSD and a lot of other head injuries in life)
Nowhere left to go....but this is a real threat,
"I'm alone, what do I do?" I ask inside (a trick my T taught me)
The answer comes, "dissociate" and I do..........
then............................................
..................................................I die.

Alternate Ending:
Suddenly, I'm grandma all snuggled in my bed,
I hear a knock at the door then a mean wolf strides in, grinning.
He has many sharp-looking teeth,
Terrified,
Confused,
Grounded,
Neural network much more intact (years of therapy and hard work),
Nowhere to go,
I'm trapped,
I stand up and face the wolf as I ............tap, tap, tap my ruby slippers,
Zing........The Munchkins come. Blam......they kill the wolf,
They've been watching out for me all along.
I'm home.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
What should be the title of this book?

I opened this e-mail riding down the interstate......and got the best laugh...I mean a real belly laugh....I know I shouldn't be checking messages......and driving.

I'm not sure about talent (maybe talent is the wrong world....a different perception???)....the words and ideas come to me in no predictable way....I have a couple of others I've written, but I don't want to hog the posts and really want to see other's talents-poetry can be lots of fun. I'll share another if you do! It can be a thread for humor and comradery.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Now THIS is some poetry I understand. Love it... Hope others contribute... needing distractions right now...
ladee- thank you. Throw a few lines up...they don't have to rhyme. Could be fun!

FREED FOR A DAY

I had some kind of dream
where I felt the storm;
I woke up in a flash
lightning see...

This poem is totally awesome. I can connect with the sleep/eat thing....I'm up and down all night and I've convinced myself or my brain is convinced if I eat carbs at night, it will help me get back to sleep-a cookie here, mac and cheese with bacon (OMG I could eat mac and cheese anytime-I shall not get started...I can feel the endorphins in my head just writing about it..... And weight, all my life a huge issue! Your poem spoke to me. Thanks for posting.

And the time came when the
Risk to remain tight in a bud
Was more painful than the risk it took to...

I can totally identify with this. It is where I am in my journey...poetry says things with simplicity that touches me more deeply with it's images.
 
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TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
This poem is kinda geeky. .

I Wish I Could Service My Brain Like I Do My Computer

I wish I could service my brain like I do my computer.
Disable and remove the unwanted startup programs,
gone the flashbacks and bad dreams,
away with sleepless nights awaking everyday refreshed and smiling.

I wish I could service my brain like I do my computer,
Clean up and delete the old unnecessary system files,
gone the maladaptive coping skills,
away goes the fog and my need for so much isolation.

I wish I could service my brain like I do my computer.
Keep my system free of viruses and malware,
gone the insidious paranoia and worry,
away with insecurity and magically I blossom into a risk-taker.

I wish I could service my brain like I do my computer.
Upgrade to a newer operating system,
live in the present,
sleep with beautiful dreams of my future.
 

Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
This poem is totally awesome. I can connect with the sleep/eat thing....I'm up and down all night and I've convinced myself or my brain is convinced if I eat carbs at night, it will help me get back to sleep-a cookie here, mac and cheese with bacon (OMG I could eat mac and cheese anytime-I shall not get started...I can feel the endorphins in my head just writing about it..... And weight, all my life a huge issue! Your poem spoke to me. Thanks for posting.

I deleted it. I'll write another one sometime. Thanks for your thoughts. I decided against my thoughts about being fat as my fate. I don't want to feel that way. I want to hope that won't be my future forevermore. Sometimes I am resigned to it though. That is when I would write one like I did.

I tend to be a more happy person who wants to write upbeat stuff though.
 

Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT!?!

You had some damned nerve
imposing your desires on me
even when I asked you not to
I begged you, just let me be.

You had some damned nerve
pushing on ahead anyway
getting your desires met
allowing me nothing to say.

You had some damned nerve
You were the only one that took
what did not belong to you;
you are a slick, sick, sex crook!

SpiritSong, still trying to heal....
 

Tornadic Thoughts

MyPTSD Pro
Tornadic thoughts all up in my brain.
Twisting, spinning, like riding on a damn crazy train.
Make forward progress, then BOOM, here we go again.
Each emotion be draggin' me down like a big ol' ball and chain.
Anxiously awaiting some valuable lesson I'm supposed to gain?
Seeking threads of sanity in a world gone insane?
Damn good thing I"m so easily entertained.
Guess I'll go munch on some more romaine.
 
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