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General PTSD Stress and the Family Environment

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Unfortunately PTSD can really screw up others who are around those with PTSD, especially their children, and can contribute to the likelihood of PTSD in the child and spouse of the sufferer.

Transgenerational PTSD is very real. There have been studies verifying the increased liklihood of getting PTSD if your parent(s) have it. Whether from nature or nurture I don't know. But "sigh" there have even been studies showing that it has in utero effects (lower cortisol levels in saliva of PTSD sufferers and their newborns than in "normals" ). See link for background. [DLMURL]http://jcem.endojournals.org/cgi/content/full/90/7/4115[/DLMURL]

There is also secondary PTSD which is where overidentification with the person with PTSD causes symptoms to develope in a spouse/care-giver or even a therapist.

As a long-term sufferer of PTSD from transgenerational and direct sources, I consider my most important job in the world to be to have this crappy thing end with me. You are all Angels for helping your spouse/loved one though this. Just make sure you watch out for yourself and your kids FIRST.

I have three daughters and a wife. All are doing well except my middle daughter, unfortunately, has issues with anxiety and I would say is "at risk" (the other two appear to have dodged this bullet). My middle daughter has seen a therapist who specializes in treating children with anxiety and, between that and the influence of my wife, it has helped tremendously. I also work very hard to be at my best around my family. I don't always succeed, but being conscious of it and working at it, definitely help.

Just keep in mind that the ONLY way to get PTSD is through a traumatic event. No matter how much you may think you are effecting your family, PTSD is caused from trauma and only trauma. We can not pass it on to family members.

Bec
 
I think it most certainly has impact, nature verses nurture I am not one to say. I do know I have a huge phobia on the road with big rigs, but I know that was watching my mother freak out over it for years, her phobia passed on... nurture.

Now I had my younger son go to ER via ambulance in the middle of the night as he started thowing up one night and freaked saying he could not breath. At 7 years old doctors at the hospital said it was an anxiety attack, floored me I did not know it could happen so young, I thought he was developing asthma or something instead. He has always shown signs of anxiety and excessively worries. If he is playing too rough and accidently hurts someone he freaks out if I do NOT punish him by sending to his room or time out. I mean he feels like he needs to pay for any wrong doing even if I say it is no biggie... Shit probably ought to get that checked out too before he turns into a cutter or something. This was before I hit rock bottom or diagnosed. He is almost 9 now.

But he did try to give me advice on nightmares today. He said he used to get them a lot. He said he learned (I am still trying to figure out how some of y'all do this) that he was dreaming as he is viewing himself and you can't see yourself in real life. And he says he learned he had to do a "sequence" in his dream to wake himself. Confused I ask what do you mean. He said like a cheat code on a video game... He said in his dream he uses Left- Right -L- R- R -L and he wakes. He also said the dream catcher he hung over his bed helps too ;).

My teen girl is to start her counseling in a couple days to work on depression. She has also had a major anxiety attack with me ending up having to hold her down and put a paper sack over her mouth as she was hypervenalating way too hard and losing control, at that point I could recognize what they were, knew how to treat and make her focus and she was fine. She starts doc Thursday.

Now my oldest has shown no signs, and I sure as hell hope the toddler will fair this better as I know what is wrong with me and try to control it. But I certainly think PTSD in the home has a direct impact on the kids. My teens were both great at caring for me when I hit the solid bottom and neither had issues or problems yet. Not their job but they helped. This did not show up in my daughter immediately, just recent, and started heading down hill fast. But hell she has to deal with she loves her dad and her dad was a major catalyst in this PTSD. My oldest teen opposite. Hates his dad and he is a no nonsense kid. He is more like me with the attitude of don't try to yank my chain.

So my opinion, major impact if it is not in check and symptoms flare up. I am seeing it happen.
 
Just keep in mind that the ONLY way to get PTSD is through a traumatic event. No matter how much you may think you are effecting your family, PTSD is caused from trauma and only trauma. We can not pass it on to family members. Bec

Bec,

You no doubt have more experience with this than I but as I said in my initial post, its undeniable and proven here in Aus that children of Vietnam Vets have higher rates of depression, anxiety, suicide (etc). This would naturally increase if the person with PTSD in the house remains untreated. I take on board your comment about being exposed to a trauma IOT for PTSD to develop but the development of secondary PTSD is not uncommon in support people/spouses exposed over long periods. Irrespective of whether the person with PTSD is being treated and actively manages PTSD, stress levels in our houses are often elevated and emotional issues are not dealt with effectively. Monkey see, monkey do is my concern....that is children see normal daily issues being dealt with/addressed in either inappropriate or ineffective ways, consider this normal and then emulate this behaviour.

In my own experience, my toddler's mental health is of primary concern and I guess that may just be the buffering factor in the long run. Sometimes I feel that I have to buffer Alexander from the effects that PTSD has on our home environment but to Anthony's credit I think he does this in his own way. Who really knows. Veiled's children are an example and we have a friend (Vietnam Vet) who had four children. Of those four, now adult children, one has been in successive abusive relationships and struggles with depression, one has attempted suicide and also struggles with depression and the other one had severe Post Natal Depression to the point of hospitalisation. Not very good stats.

I consider that active management of PTSD and awareness are probably the best things we can do for our children. I am just glad that Anthony is now on the other side of treatment. I would not have considered bringing children into the environment before Anthony started seeking treatment.

Just for the record, this is not intended to be a smash session for those with PTSD. Most of those on this forum are actively seeking treatment and are all to aware of the impact that this illness can have on those around them. None of you need more guilt!! Its more a case of mother concern than anything else and looking for other advice/opinions and strategies.
 
I agree 100% Kerri. We do affect those around us. I was just pointing out that it can't be passed on. It is not heriditery (ack can't spell) and not contagious. Do we effect others around us? Hell ya. My kids, family, partner, therapist can all testify to that. When PTSD is uncontrolled, is when it can effect others the worst.

Keep yourselves in good health. Watch for signs of depression, anxiety etc. Make sure you have a healthy support system. Make sure you get out of the house and spend time with freinds, family, and doing fun things!!

Bec
 
I am new to the whole mother thing (my son just turned one) but I know that when my partner is having a mood swing in the bad direction, my baby becomes withdrawn and won't go near him. I don't know if he has picked this up from me or whether he just knows its best to stay away. I am scared about my sons safety (both physical and mental) but only when Alex has violent outbursts. Whilst he has never actually hit me (yet), he has come very close. One night Alex came home drunk and looking for a fight; I wanted nothing to do with it and decided to take my baby and I to my mothers house for a while; Whilst I was organising my sons things he woke up to the yelling and started crying; Alex decided to pick him up and try to console him; Jackson screamed like I have never heard a child scream (and I grew up in a house with 3 younger sisters) and I was scared for Jackson's safety, because of how drunk Alex was. I went to my mum's and didn;t come home til the next afternoon. I walked in the house and put Jackson down and he crawled straight over to Alex and gave him cuddles. The outburst the night before didn't seem to bother him any more. He is an extremely happy child and if mood swings bother him, its only til its over. I am hoping that he will continue on like this! I don't believe however that a full on buffer around the child will help them in the onlg run. My mother never told me exactly how she was feeling as I was growing up; she merely kept it all hidden. When I had Jackson and was a full time mum, part time uni student, full time partner, trying to keep my house and yard tidy and get my head around the whole thing; I fell to pieces. What made that worse for me was the thought that there was something wrong with me because my mum could do it all. That was until she sat me down and explained to me that it is a very difficult job to take on so much at once. I want my son to know that everyone has problems and that everyone who loves him will be there for him if he ever needs it; the same as those we love are there for Alex and I when we need them. I won't have my son around violece, but the occassional argument doesn't seem to bother him.
 
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