Unfortunately PTSD can really screw up others who are around those with PTSD, especially their children, and can contribute to the likelihood of PTSD in the child and spouse of the sufferer.
Transgenerational PTSD is very real. There have been studies verifying the increased liklihood of getting PTSD if your parent(s) have it. Whether from nature or nurture I don't know. But "sigh" there have even been studies showing that it has in utero effects (lower cortisol levels in saliva of PTSD sufferers and their newborns than in "normals" ). See link for background. [DLMURL]http://jcem.endojournals.org/cgi/content/full/90/7/4115[/DLMURL]
There is also secondary PTSD which is where overidentification with the person with PTSD causes symptoms to develope in a spouse/care-giver or even a therapist.
As a long-term sufferer of PTSD from transgenerational and direct sources, I consider my most important job in the world to be to have this crappy thing end with me. You are all Angels for helping your spouse/loved one though this. Just make sure you watch out for yourself and your kids FIRST.
I have three daughters and a wife. All are doing well except my middle daughter, unfortunately, has issues with anxiety and I would say is "at risk" (the other two appear to have dodged this bullet). My middle daughter has seen a therapist who specializes in treating children with anxiety and, between that and the influence of my wife, it has helped tremendously. I also work very hard to be at my best around my family. I don't always succeed, but being conscious of it and working at it, definitely help.
Just keep in mind that the ONLY way to get PTSD is through a traumatic event. No matter how much you may think you are effecting your family, PTSD is caused from trauma and only trauma. We can not pass it on to family members.
Bec