I've never had a journal or diary before. Maybe it was a part of my self-imposed superstition that but the words in my mind to ink would make them real. I'm going to try and just make a list today. I can do that, I'm strong enough today.
- Catholic Private school
- The teacher who hated me pt.1
- Dad's first deployment
- The "first" year of my life
- The teacher who hated me pt.2
- My Father comes home
- My Uncle Passes
- My parents divorce
- Father's second deployment
- The class that hated me pt.1
- ADHD testing begins
- My Father comes home pt.2
- The teacher who hated me pt.3
- My introduction to poverty and violence
- The teacher who went to far.
- Kerr Middle School
- My first sexual experience
- Beginning to understand that things aren't fair
- Ice storm
- Hospital
- Moving to a new town
- Moving to a new town pt.2
- My Father puts me through a wall
- The teacher who hated me pt.5
- Hypersexuality manifests for the first time
- Football, My Father, and violence
- I make my own choice for the first time
- May 20th, 2013
- Confronting death for the first time
- Hypersexuality explodes outward
- Learning about self-harm, Idolizing it.
- Surviving myself and my environment
- Shutting down for the first time
- Grippy Sock jail pt.1
- Meeting K for the first time
- Losing K for the first time
- Getting kicked out of the main high school
- Losing my strength to atrophy
- Meeting A
- Rosie
- A and questioning my sexuality
- Coming out
- Defending myself from my Father for the first time
- Losing A
- Graduating Early
- Meeting P
- Moving to a new town pt.3
- College and drugs
- Discovering the ease of addiction
- Idolizing trauma
- My brother comes out
- Dropping out
- Moving back to a familiar place pt.1
- Losing P and understanding betrayal
- I see my Dad again
- Losing my Dad again
- Grippy Sock jail pt.2
- Reuniting with K and codependency
- Being an observer in your own life
- Cheating and Loyalty
- Alcohol and Fear of change
- Losing K
- Grippy Sock jail pt.3
- My Dad comes back for good
- Atrophy and Stagnation
- Meeting S for the first time
- Using people and the decision to change
- SH for the LAST time
- Healing and the scars that come with it
- Arkansas
- Failing as a gifted child
- Current