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Question about complex ptsd symptom

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DarkOne35

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Hello.... So... I don't really remember a lot of what happened, well... I actually don't remember anything. All I remember is that when I came to, I saw my sneakers on my feet and I was wondering why the hell I had my shoes on, and well... Let me start from the beginning.


I was laying here in the bed using my computer and my phone, and all of a sudden, there was a voice telling me I have to put on my shoes because I have to go out. In my mind, I was like, but it's late. Why do I need to go out? Then it was like, the voice said, I don't care, go and get your shoes. You have to leave now. So then... that is all I remember. After that, my husband tells me that I went in the hallway closet where my sneakers were, and I got my sneakers, I put them on, and I went to put my coat on, and then I kept telling him that I had to go now because if I didn't then Child Protection Services (Which is called ACS here in NY) was going to come and take my kids away. I even told him the wrong year. I told him that the year was 2013. Even though he kept telling me it is the year 2018 (Which I now know that it is the year 2018, but at the time, he told me I kept telling him it was 2013, and I had to go back to my home where I was living outside of the home that I am currently living in now. So, to make a long story short, he said that this went on for about fifteen minutes before I snapped out of it, and came to. Oh! I forgot to tell you guys that he told me that right before it happened, I was in the bedroom and my eyes kept moving from side to side over and over again, before I had the episode, if that means anything.

Just to give everyone a backstory, without making this post super long... Basically, a false report of child abuse was called in on me back in 2009, and without doing a thorough investigation, CPS came and kidnapped my kids with no proof of abuse whatsoever. The truth of the matter is that my son had injured his mouth on his dresser drawer when he got out of bed one night, and ran around his room in the dark, and I cared for him immediately, and put him back to bed when he calmed down, and seemed okay. After that, when I saw that he wasn't doing any better in like a day or two, I took him to the doctor and the doctor cleared him to go back home with me, and she cleared him to go back to school. The day he went back to school, the school lied and said that my son, who was not able to speak at the time, which was the reason why he was attending their school in the first place (Speech therapy and other therapy)had told them that I punched him in the mouth. CPS basically took the story and ran with it. Long story short, I went to trial, doctor came and testified that the injury lined up with the story I told her about him hitting his mouth, and even the lies that CPS put in their petition pointed to me not hitting him, but he hit his mouth in the house. The trial was ruled a mistrial, due to the trial not going in CPS's favor to take away my parental rights as well as my husband's... they dragged the case out over the course of five years in which I was homeless for 3.5-4 years in which I suffered some horrific circumstances and traumas that I wish to not speak about. But, they were horrific and ongoing, and then five years after the case first started, I was found innocent of all charges and I was free to go back home. I was diagnosed with Severe and Chronic PTSD (Also known as Complex PTSD) in October 2015.
 
Welcome to the forum, have a look around and see if there are already threads that can help you get a sense of what's happened to you. Just as an aside, severe and chronic PTSD isn't the same as complex PTSD - ptsd can be both severe and chronic and arise out of a single traumatic incident. Complex PTSD has a different symptom range.
 
Welcome to the forum, have a look around and see if there are already threads that can help you get a s...


So I must have been diagnosed with the wrong diagnosis, because I didn't just go through one single trauma. It was ongoing trauma, as I was homeless for several years and the traumas included sexual,physical,emotional abuse... EVERY DAY. It wasn't just a one time incident. Complex PTSD is not in the DSM is what I was told, so that was the reason why I was diagnosed with Severe and Chronic PTSD.


Thanks for the info. I will be asking my therapist about this since the traumas I suffered were not just a one time thing, and ALL of my symptoms match up with what a person with CPTSD experiences.

I just sent my therapist an email asking her about what I am being treated for, since the traumas that I suffered were NOT a one time occurence but they were occuring EVERY DAY for an extended period of time. Thank you for the heads up.

Hi,

You forgot the question.

Thanks.


Hi. My question was... What was it that I experienced?

And the reason why I ask what was it that I experiencd, is because I have no recollection of what happened prior to me coming to. All I remember is hearing a voice telling me to go and get my shoes, and then all of a sudden, I was no longer in the present, or this version of me that is typing this out was not the version of me that was showing itself to my husband during the episode he said that I went into. I honestly have no recollection of what happened during the episode and would love some insight on what happened to me.
 
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Welcome to the forum, have a look around and see if there are already threads that can help you get a s...
To me it sounds like a dissociative episode or maybe psychosis episode. Did things feel not real when thi...


I honestly don't remember any of the episode right after hearing the voice telling me to go and get my shoes.... I've had episodes in the past where I was aware of what was happening, but it was like someone else had came forth and they were very destructive. My table in my room were knocked over, bottle was thrown, and destruction of property. With this episode when I switched, my husband told me I kept telling him I had to leave and go back to my home, which as I remember now, h was a homeless shelter I was living in when I had to be outside my home during the year of 2013. I wish I could give you more insight on how it felt, but I can't because I don't remember. He just tols me I was moving my eyes around really weird and that was when I switched, he says.

He also told me it happened for like... 15 minutes before I changed back to myself.


I also wanted to add, that earlier in the day I was experience severe stress. I got into an argument with my husbans about the kids and their behavior and prior to that, in the morning time, I found out I was lied to, and I felt really, really betrayed. I had felt severe suicidal ideation at that point until I took my medicine to relieve my symptoms. So it seems like I was triggered and that is what caused me to go into the episode that I went into lastnight.
 
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He also told me it happened for like... 15 minutes before I changed back to myself.
Have you done any parts work in therapy? Has anything like this happened before where you have lost track of time?

I had felt severe suicidal ideation at that point until I took my medicine to relieve my symptoms.
What type of medication did you take, was it more than usual? It might be a good idea to talk with your doctor about this.
 
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Have you done any parts work in therapy? Has anything like this happened before where you have lost track...


No, I haven't. My therapist doesn't even know about my different parts. Well I have had episodes where I go into aan episode but I am aware of what is going on, but someone or something else is controlling my actions. On some days, if not most, I could be doing something and all of a sudden I will get up and leave it and not remember that I was just doing it. It actually happens a lot. But I never had an episode like zi had lastnight where I hear a voice tell me what to do and all of a sudden I switch, and not remember or have any recollection of what happened.

What type of medication did you take, was it more than usual? It might be a good idea to talk with your d...


I take medical cannabis, and I take the usual dose. One joint or I vape a bowl to relieve my symptoms. The cannabis did not cause this episode at all, as I take it once a day everyday to relieve my PTSD symptoms.


The cannabis I use relieves my symptoms. I took the cannabis in the morning when I was exoeriencing stress from the first trigger which relieved my symptoms. I was fine after that. I was not okay lastnight after the really bad argument about yhe kids with my husband. I felt A LOT of stress due to their behavior and the argument right after.
 
Could you have suffered a seizure??? The eyes moving back and forth was what my thought was........
 
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