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Question about emdr

Discussion in 'Treatment & Therapy' started by Maroon731, Jul 9, 2018.

  1. Maroon731

    Maroon731 New Member

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    I wonder if I can ask you a question on EMDR. I have been seeing a therapist for a year. She originally suggested EMDR in first few meetings but after we met for several months she is telling me EMDR will not be used. I have CSA history and one that I still have not spoken about directly. I am apprehensive about therapy and don't know much about EMDR. I have never spoke to anyone about this Trauma and I am almost 50. Outside of this "secret" trauma that lasted mostly my whole childhood, and I have some anxiety, but mostly feel like I function in life as an adult ok - but I know there is some residual from keeping this "secret". But whenever I go to therapy I find I am trembling (vibrating) and so she spends much of her time talking me down from that heightened spot. And I still have not been able to share any details of my abuse. When I ask her why we don't do EMDR I don't really get an answer. And the hour goes quick and I never really get a good diagnosis of what she thinks needs to happen other than I "NEED to WRITE and Journal", get in touch with emotions, which doesn't excite me. In general I have no emotion, never cry. Would like to have more emotion but I don't yet. My question to you is do you feel EMDR is the right solution? Or do you think a person needs to be in a specific frame of mind for EMDR? Based on our schedules our appointments seem to always be 2-3 weeks apart and I feel progress just doesn't happen that fast. But since I have never done therapy for my childhood trauma before now (my dad died) I am not sure what I should be expecting from a therapist. Would love to get your thoughts if you have time and an opinion. Thanks.
     
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  3. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

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    EMDR isn’t the universal right decision for everyone. It sounds like your therapist doesn’t believe EMDR is right for you... I’d guess that a HUGE part of this is because you aren’t in touch with your feelings. Processing can set off an emotional tidal wave so it’s important that you can manage your feelings before starting any type of processing, including EMDR.
     
  4. Maroon731

    Maroon731 New Member

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    Thanks - I agree there are probably valid reasons. Just reading "emotion tidal wave" gives me anxiety so perhaps it is a good thing she knows that would freak me out right now. Just the push of journaling on the subject is making me wonder if I should cancel therapy. I am not sure opening all this up is wise despite all the advice says this is what I need to do, I feel like I am going crazy as I approach the subject. But I keep trying and started more journaling around these memories and can feel some small shift so I will push forward for now. thanks again.
     
  5. joeylittle

    joeylittle Donation drive til August 1, donate today Administrator Generous $250+

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    You could also try journaling in-session; might be a way to both know that you have some support in the room with you (therapist), and also help you begin to get used to the idea of opening up to your therapist about what happened.

    It sounds like she's recommending a good path, for what it's worth.

    Can you increase your session frequency - or, if not, increase the length of each session?
     
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  6. Maroon731

    Maroon731 New Member

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    Thank you for your reply. I have not journaled in session. I sometimes bring my journal but struggle with reading from it. However, I am going to try and make a bigger effort in this area. Sometimes I get scared I will talk about it and still have no emotion, which might seem weird. Or I will talk about it and nothing changes - I still feel the same and we are done with our work. But I am starting to kinda trust the process more. I really spend too much timing trying to find reasons to discount therapy and I should probably work thru that some. But anyway, I am rambling. Thanks again, your thoughts and suggestion are helpful. I also appreciate the validation in the direction we are going. I trust my therapist but sometimes feel like we are spinning our wheels even though I know we are not.
     
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  7. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

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    I've been doing emdr for about a year -- weekly. It is a nightmare. But when it works it is amazing. Those things that are making you crazy in your head suddenly seem like nothing more than distant unpleasant memories from the past.

    EMDR takes a lot of planning before you start because it can be very, very intense. I'm guessing if she is stalling it is because you may not have a good foundation to keep you grounded as you process the memories. Basically you are reliving them to bring them up, sort out your feelings about them, and transfer them into long term storage in your brain. You have to be committed to it because sometimes you see results in a couple sessions and sometimes it takes months (or in my case years). So you T needs to get as much info together as she can before you start.

    But - when it works it's the best thing ever! Painful and horrible yes - -but fabulous.
     
    Skywatcher likes this.
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