DID Question for those that have parts

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So... in therapy this week a new part started to emerge but was flickering in and out of existence inside. I am pretty new to even being able to "see" any of them. But I could see her. Therapist suggested that we reach out to her and she was not receptive. She was very emotional and lost and not trusting of anyone's positive efforts to welcome her into their shared space. Therapist suggested that we offer "gentle bids" to invite her into the area where the others are more cohesive (they are still differentiated but they are getting along better now). I had an idea to create a space for her, like furnish it with things that most people would find comforting and then leave, so she knows she can come but does not feel pushed.

So I am wondering have you had a part show up and then flicker in and out like that? I have never heard anyone talk about that. T compared it to a shy child that hides behind their parent until they get more comfortable with an environment.

Also do you have any other ideas for how I can create a welcoming space for her without pushing? I am really pleased overall with our progress in therapy, and I do not want to push anyone faster than they want to go, but I do want to do all I can to contribute to an effective and efficient process. This one in particular I suspect has had a really shitty job for the system and I want to help her realize the resources she is currently (apparently) unaware of.


Hello and a gentle welcome to your new part. I haven't experienced this shyness before, but it makes me think of when I bring home a new cat to foster. They usually have been traumatized and basically hide under the bed. I like to sit on the floor away from the bed and just spend a few minutes softly talking to it. I'll do that several times a day, increasing the time spent with it and eventually adding other soft noises like typing on my laptop. As it appears, I stay on the quieter, gentler side and allow it to run back as needed. I'll say a few soft words and gradually increase those. I'll keep the food, water and litterbox in the bedroom through all this, gradually bringing those out as the animal progresses.

In short, I think gentleness is the key. When you are with your new part, don't try to engage, just be. Let them explore being out first before having to deal with exploring you. She needs to sense the tone of the environment. Offer encouraging smiles, but don't really even look at them. Being too eager can send them running. Be trustworthy and absolutely no threat, and they will recognize that and respond in their own time.

Those are my thoughts. As always, takes what works and leave the rest.
I wish all of your parts well.


I am wondering have you had a part show up and then flicker in and out like that?
Oh, yes. More than one.
do you have any other ideas for how I can create a welcoming space for her without pushing?
So, sometimes parts/insiders will just stay hidden, no matter what you do. But, if you have a sense for this one's age, you might try doing some things appropriate to that age. For example, if this insider is youngish, you could try watching movies for kids. Or reading books for kids. I've both tried to do things and engage my insider and do things without directly engaging them. The latter feels less threatening, I think.

Above all, be patient. :-)
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