My therapist is super nice - but no matter what I tell her, she just supports me and reassures me and tells me I'm doing great. She says she sees no pathology in me, and I may have generalized anxiety - and only said that because I asked her directly.
I want to know what I need to be doing to be able to function better - she says meditate and breathe. Yes, breathing exercises help, and yes meditation does help me get to sleep (but not stay asleep) - but if I'm constantly screaming inside, living in fear (20+ years of being stalked) and using all my strength to maintain a calm and reasonable exterior... Only able to work a few hours a week, etc because I need so much energy to drown out the screaming/fear - and working doesn't drown it out, so I can't work much - I wonder if maybe this is more normal than I think it is, and I'm just expecting someone to tell me, 'Yes, you're badly broken and need a lot of help' - and then to tell me how to fix it, but that's never actually going to happen.
I want to know what I need to be doing to be able to function better - she says meditate and breathe. Yes, breathing exercises help, and yes meditation does help me get to sleep (but not stay asleep) - but if I'm constantly screaming inside, living in fear (20+ years of being stalked) and using all my strength to maintain a calm and reasonable exterior... Only able to work a few hours a week, etc because I need so much energy to drown out the screaming/fear - and working doesn't drown it out, so I can't work much - I wonder if maybe this is more normal than I think it is, and I'm just expecting someone to tell me, 'Yes, you're badly broken and need a lot of help' - and then to tell me how to fix it, but that's never actually going to happen.