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Questions for my rapist

Discussion in 'Sexual Assault' started by TexCat, Jan 17, 2018.

  1. TexCat

    TexCat Not a cat or a native Texan. Banned Donated

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    So... I am leaning towards the rape not being my fault and would be feeling angry AT HIM if I could feel right now. (Used to be angry at me)

    So now I have these questions lingering in my mind...

    Was it me?
    Why does your current wife look like me 25 years later?
    Do you hate all women or just me?
    Did you think it was a game?
    When I undressed for you did you think that I chose to do that?
    When my body reacted to your touch, did you consider that a yes?
    When I didn’t make a sound, did you consider that consent?
    Did you view my efforts to escape as me saying “no?”
    When you laughed at me, was that because you thought we were playing a game?
    When I went from puppet to trying to resist again, did you see that as a “no?”
    When I completely gave up, what was the point of smacking my face or choking me yet again?
    When you said that stuff afterwards is that proof that you thought it was consensual?
    What was your thoughts on the silent tears?
    Did you seriously black out like you said you did?
    When you were nice a month later and I was late, what were your real thoughts?
    Did you and B plan that second event?
    Why were you “nice” that time?

    Any thoughts, forum? Any questions for your rapist? Sorry if this is too much, I just don’t know how else to process this right now.
     
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  3. 419can.dance

    419can.dance Active Member

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    Wow.
    Those questions are so strong!
    I absolutely look up to you right now!

    I am trying to think of one question. Just one. But, my hands started sweating and my body went numb.
    ((Hugs)) you are so strong!
     
  4. TexCat

    TexCat Not a cat or a native Texan. Banned Donated

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    Thank you for your encouragement. I felt nauseous and panicky after writing them as if he could come through the computer and attack me for confronting him.
     
  5. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    I understand the need for you to write this out. Just want you to know that it WAS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!! None of it. And even though you feel you need to ask, KNOW THAT YOU DON’T have to. Your questions are not stupid, they are just not needed.

    Rape is rape. The fault lies with him, and nothing he said, did, thought matters. He raped you and it was wrong on so many levels. Wrong, wrong wrong........
     
  6. Sideways

    Sideways I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    I totally get wanting to know, wanting to understand better.

    Just try and remember that there aren’t any answers that make it okay, or less atrocious, or less damaging.

    Be gentle with yourself. Anger at him, inatead of yourself, is huge huge progress.
     
  7. SpiritSong

    SpiritSong I love flowers! Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    I have some questions for mine too.

    When I said I was not feeling well and did not want to do "it" that night, why did you force me to do "it" anyway?
    If you were not feeling well, would you have done "it" anyway if I had wanted "it?"
    When I fought you physically (trying to stop you), why did you use your strength against me?
    When you thought I had cheated on you (but had not) why did you try to choke me?
    Did it make you feel powerful to cut off my air supply?
    Did it make you feel "big and strong" when you could overpower me and force me to do "it?"
    What did you get out of all this?
    Why did you do this to me?
    I thought you loved me?
    You said you loved me.
    Did you really love me?
    Or did you love yourself more?

    I have other questions too. I just cannot think of them right now!
     
    419can.dance and TexCat like this.
  8. TexCat

    TexCat Not a cat or a native Texan. Banned Donated

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    Betrayal like that is so hard to understand. I thought my rapist was my friend. He told me he would walk me home to keep me safe. Asshole!!!
     
  9. SpiritSong

    SpiritSong I love flowers! Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    They are both assholes!
     
  10. 419can.dance

    419can.dance Active Member

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    Wow. I want to question! f*ck this! You rock! You. You are strong!


    I have a question!!

    When little me wanted to see that bump.
    Why did you say no?

    Why DIDNT!! Why didn’t you eat f*ckin NO!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 17, 2018
    TexCat and SheilaKathy like this.
  11. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    My question.. Why did my brother rape me? Why did my other brother groom me and make me suck his dick?


    ANSWER.... Because they are f*cking assholes not worth my f*cking breath to ask them WHY???

    To ask WHY, is to open the door for more abuse! !!
     
  12. 419can.dance

    419can.dance Active Member

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    Wow. Yep. Pretty f*ckin much! My heart is jumping out of my chest. Why the f*ck? Brothers f*cking suck!
     
  13. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    The point is..... it’s stupid to ask why, as it just opens the door for more abuse......
     
    419can.dance likes this.
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