Rage & Dissociation

Starfire

Confident
Calling it rage as it was intense. Never happened before so can't explain it. Suddenly and I mean suddenly, felt this intense anger, began hitting the door jam, and watching myself silently screaming. Shaking inside. Don't know what I was so scared about or upset about. Frightened it will happen again. Anyone experience this or something similar?
 

Friday

Moderator
For sure.

For a long time explosive bursts of rage were at the tippy top of my list o’ problems to sort. Lucky for me, during that time in my life, “everyone” did that. So it was very much a known quantity / expected / no slack cut for f*cked up behavior. Nor was anyone freaked out about it.
Fight response. Anger. Rage. = Normal.

No different, really, than people who burst into tears out of nowhere (fine one moment, waterworks the next).
Flight Response. Fear. Distress. = Normal.

Just the other side of it.

I’m also lucky, IMO, that’s where I started; & it was the knee jerk -or mainstay- in my life when things first went sideways. As Dysreg exploding outwards requires learning how to manage it... fast. I can’t even begin to quantify the number of people I’ve met over the years who have the inverse (subsuming inwards, instead of exploding out) who never learn the self control necessary to manage it. Just need to add old skills to new problems, and new skills to replace old ones thay work just fine on the 180, but don’t seem to event dent this version. So you’re halfway there, or more, already.

((One actually sees that here a fair bit; people who assume that kicking into fight-response / explosive bursts of rage are a choice; meanwhile their flight-response / collapsing in tears and distress are a symptom. Nope. They’re the exact same thing. Just different sides of the same coin. ))

ETA... Meant to say earlier, but forgot... It is a maaaaajor mindf*ck when symptoms we’re familiar with do a 180. Whether that’s a new normal, or a one off? It’s just like... ????WTF???? ....But? Just like the symptoms we’re used to getting thumped with, we learn coping mechanisms / strategies for? The wacky “backwards” ones are just as workable.
 
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Starfire

Confident
For sure.

For a long time explosive bursts of rage were at the tippy top of my list o’ problems to sort. Lucky for me, during that time in my life, “everyone” did that. So it was very much a known quantity / expected / no slack cut for f*cked up behavior. Nor was anyone freaked out about it.
Fight response. Anger. Rage. = Normal.

No different, really, than people who burst into tears out of nowhere (fine one moment, waterworks the next).
Flight Response. Fear. Distress. = Normal.

Just the other side of it.

I’m also lucky, IMO, that’s where I started; & it was the knee jerk -or mainstay- in my life when things first went sideways. As Dysreg exploding outwards requires learning how to manage it... fast. I can’t even begin to quantify the number of people I’ve met over the years who have the inverse (subsuming inwards, instead of exploding out) who never learn the self control necessary to manage it. Just need to add old skills to new problems, and new skills to replace old ones thay work just fine on the 180, but don’t seem to event dent this version. So you’re halfway there, or more, already.

((One actually sees that here a fair bit; people who assume that kicking into fight-response / explosive bursts of rage are a choice; meanwhile their flight-response / collapsing in tears and distress are a symptom. Nope. They’re the exact same thing. Just different sides of the same coin. ))

ETA... Meant to say earlier, but forgot... It is a maaaaajor mindf*ck when symptoms we’re familiar with do a 180. Whether that’s a new normal, or a one off? It’s just like... ????WTF???? ....But? Just like the symptoms we’re used to getting thumped with, we learn coping mechanisms / strategies for? The wacky “backwards” ones are just as workable.
Thank you. Used to do the tears response. Never thought of this being the same. Don't know why the change. Somehow the tears seem more acceptable. Less scary to myself. More honest? Thanks now I know what's going on. Like it or not.
 
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