ranking systems

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
i am a child sex trafficking survivor. i escaped that nightmare nearly half a century ago, but i don't really expect to ever be "cured." being sold into prostitution by your parents leaves some serious and enduring injuries in the psyche. i am not in active pro psychotherapy at this time, but i take my daily therapy maintenance, especially peer support, quite seriously. i believe an ounce of prevention is worth WAY more than a pound of cure. the minutes i invest on therapy maintenance, here and there throughout the day, cost me far less than the unpredictable time and agony of digging myself out of yet another psychotic break.

in 2018, when i was awarded my "pro" ranking, this site was on the verge of becoming a trusted node in my therapy support network. the ranking hit my social anxiety like a sarcastic honoring of just how badly i was injured during my years of child prostitution. i decided to simply set the trigger event aside and move on. way back in 2018, live peer support was readily available and i, personally, get more out of real time support than virtual support, anyway.

fast forward to year two of the covidic era and real time support has gone virtual. does virtual still mean, "almost?" i'm back and wondering if it is time to process that 2018 trigger event. why am i so bothered by my "pro" ranking here. my therapy maintenance is not a video game.
 
Congratulations on coming so far in your healing. This is an interesting thread. I can see why the ranking would be triggering for you. It's not meant to be, but I can see why it would be. I myself have been triggered by categorizations. In another forum I was "M Member" instead of "Member," displaying the scarlet letter of my maleness for all to see. I quit that place.

I think that the rankings serve as more of a "learning the ropes" type of deal. If someone says something that I am instantly offended by, if I see the "New Here" or "Learning" tag I am MUCH more likely to give them a break, and, if I can, teach them the proper thing for this place. It's also a method for newbies to find the graybeards to emulate.

As a "Pro" you could even be congratulated for sticking with this place. Lots of people, including me my first time around, register and then drop out. It's too much. It obviously hasn't been too much for you, so good job.

You could also send some $bux this forum's way, and then you'd be a Sponsor and not have to see your ranking at all.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
thank you for the encouragement, somer. it is all too often to know when healing has happened vs when i've just fallen further down the proverbial rabbit hole. with every single one of my psychotic breaks, the psycho really was the last one to see just how crazy she was. reality checks needed.

the psycho snot knot that seems to be getting pulled the hardest for me is sarcasm. sarcasm was a primary social skill in my childhood. i endured much of it while mastering the art as a dysfunctional coping mechanism. works still in progress to calm the sarcasm beast without sacrificing my sense of humor.

from "ptsd pro" to "ptsd sponsor?" my sarcasm beast is howling in her cage. . .

on a more benign possibility. . .
i am not much into video games but the few i have gotten hooked on were hopelessly boring after i achieved the highest game ranking.
 

Sideways

Moderator
When reading posts from people, it can be helpful to know how much a person writing a post has engaged with the forum.

For example, something that may seem wildly confusing? Can suddenly get a bit of context if that person is New Here.

It adds context to posts, in a situation where out communication is extremely light on context. Communication is more often than not aided by context. So, nothing sarcastic about it, simply: you know how the forum/community here works, and you've interacted here for while, as opposed to being completely new to what this place is about:)
 

joeylittle

Administrator
If it helps, @arfie:

There are four levels we assign, based only on number of posts. We're assuming that the more a member posts, the more they've interacted with the site and other members. The idea being - a user who has made X number of posts on the forum has probably figured out a thing or two about how the forum works. Not how PTSD works.

That's it.

New Here = new to MyPTSD
Learning = learning how to use MyPTSD
Confident = confident in using (posting on) MyPTSD
MyPTSD Pro = has a lot of experience using MyPTSD, based on their number of posts.
Sponsor = someone who donates to the site. Pretty commonly used term.
from "ptsd pro" to "ptsd sponsor?" my sarcasm beast is howling in her cage. . .
Yeah, but it's not "ptsd pro" or "ptsd sponsor".

Triggers aren't rational, of course - they're emotional. Just offering this deeper explanation up, as it might help you read those phrases differently.
 

Nevermore

MyPTSD Pro
Ha! I just noticed that I am a pro too!
I can relate to being massively triggered by something others kind of take for granted. Happens to me too.
I’m trying to harden up my feet to walking along this rugged ptsd terrain, but the thing that helps me most of all is knowing I’m not the only one…🌸
 

Renly

Learning
why am i so bothered by my "pro" ranking here. my therapy maintenance is not a video game.
This statement stood out to me the most…it made me think about how the neuron networks in our brains that “fire together, wire together.” Basically, the immensity of the trauma you endured was no small thing…and being a “pro” on a PTSD forum is making an association in your brains networks with the hugeness of your trauma. Which is very logical of your brain to do, although not effective or serving you now.

Is it possible to view your pro status from a different perspective? Like someone who is a pro at therapy maintenance (or some other similar positive attribute). Obviously “re-wiring” your brain to make this a positive association will take time and repetition…maybe even EMDR to strengthen that new association…but, maybe there is a little hope here? It doesn’t always have to be a negative association, even if that’s what your brain decided to pick up on first.

All that said, I’m sorry for your suffering. I know this suggestion is much easier said than done. Just know you are definitely not alone.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
thank you @Renly. it does, indeed, help to know i'm not alone. i love your quote, "fire together, wire together." it fits neatly with the brain plasticity theories i've been following since the late 90's.

when i can keep it simple, "Pro" equals getting paid for your services. as a child prostitute, i "went pro" before i knew the concept.

so far, i'm taking it as a gamer play. gamers are everywhere.
 
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