Who do I tell that I'm ready to get off this damn roller coaster???? Right now not doing too bad but can feel that the up hill climb is almost over. It's getting to the point that when the down hill side comes it comes even faster and harder than before. Don't want to do this anymore!! WHY me WHY all of us? Nobody asked for any of this to happen to us so why do we have to bare the burden?? Why do we have to be punished for things beyond our control. Why am I so weak that I can't berak the cycle. I want a normal life. I want to be able to be a mom to my kids. The kind of mom they deserve. I want to be able to go outside and be able to stay out there longer than it takes to get to the car. I have asked several different people to help me find a PSYCHIATRIST in my area. Why do they only give me names of Psychologists??? Dont people realize that there is a difference???? Why if it wasn't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all?? Life really sucks the big one!!! When I met the crisis worker the last time that I was in the hospital he said something that has stuck in my mind. He said that I might not be able to over come. Why bother trying to get better if it's just a waste of time?? Because of the track my life has taken I am totally dependant on those around me. I can't make a decision because it might be the wrong one. I can't leave the safety of the house without feeling that I am being watched and followed. I am afraid of people. They judge too fast. They talk and laugh behind your back. They will punish if given the opportunity. WHY WHY WHY?????