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Raped twice and can’t move on

Discussion in 'Sexual Assault' started by Kd27, Mar 12, 2018.

  1. Kd27

    Kd27 Guest

    I was raped twice in college so I moved back home. Now I’m living with my parents trying to get my life back on track(I didn’t leave my house for almost a year). I got a job as a cashier at a hardware store so I could be a part of society again. The majority of the customers are men. I am just so disgusted by them. They are dirty and say inappropriate comments and harass me when I don’t want to share my personal information with them. I’m applying for other jobs but no one seems to want to hire me. I just don’t know how to get out of this ugly place in my life. It takes a toll on me physically and emotionally. I’ve gotten to the point where living is just too hard for me to do.
    AnD likes this.
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  3. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

    Counseling -- counseling -- counseling. I'm so sorry that this happened to you --- it is so very awful. You will need someone to guide you through how you feel, how to process those emotions, how to move on. It can be done -- you can get your life back..
    Hooper, freebird and AnD like this.
  4. TexCat

    TexCat Not a cat or a native Texan. Banned Premium Member Donated

    I second the counseling. Have you considered working at a preschool? I know that for me, being around small children can be healing, and there are less men around in that job field.
  5. jmad

    jmad Member

    I am sorry this happened to you. It will take a while for you to come to terms with it - and definitely seek and find a therapist. In the mean time, try as best you can to be compassionate to yourself.
    freebird likes this.
  6. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Was Tibergrace

    Are you seeing a therapist or anything like that? I can't even imagine how horrible things would be for me right now if I didn't have any professional help this whole time.

    Dealing with a lot of male customers can be hard, especially when you work in a place where a lot of them harass you. It can get really tiring and really wear you down. I've worked at two smoke shops and a liquor store, and those were just horrible jobs in so many ways.

    Don't lose hope about the job search. I know it's difficult and even defeating sometimes, but if you put out like 10+ applications per week you're bound to get something new eventually.

    I've been having a hard time dealing with things myself, don't feel bad about not being able to move on so easily. These things aren't easy to handle. I can't even work right now, I'm too panicky and unstable for my line of work. Also not having an easy time focusing, and I can't handle pressure very easily at all. Pressure often makes me start to have derealization or other sorts of dissociation. I don't want to f*ck up and lose my job, which is an awesome job considering the pay and the fact that I am still employed despite taking so much time off.
    freebird likes this.
  7. Thank you

    Thank you Guest

    Thank you all of the responses. Counseling was hard for me in the past but I know that its crucial to my healing. It’s a lot more comforting knowing I’m not alone.
    EveHarrington likes this.
  8. igetit

    igetit Guest

    Hey , I understand what you are going through. I was sexually assaulted in College as well. My job was waitressing at a bar shortly after the whole incident. I had to quit & I ended up being jobless for a few months since I became so depressed I could not function. Men would constantly leer, flirt, & be creepy. Sometimes following us servers around the restaurant. I now work in a call center & that has been a lotttttt more respectful & less triggering. The restaurant environment was unhealthy for me . It warped my thinking to worrying about all men. Hang in there ! Maybe carry pepper spray or something on you that will help you feel more safe and in control until you find a new place.
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