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Re-regulating: How do you re-regulate?

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TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
I was doing pretty well until a situation with my T set me back. While every trigger is different, when things start falling apart, I'm trying to get back to where I was....more quickly.....so, evaluating cause/effect of my behavior....and taking action for short-term and long-term is how I look at things.
It would be helpful to see how others re-regulate.....picking apart the trigger, my reaction, feeling, and steps to reregulate is something I'm working on, but I have to do it in steps to have any success at changing behaviors. Having a setback? How do you re-regulate after a set-back?

1.So can you share what feeling or situation caused (generally speaking) you to get dysregulated.
2.What behavior you did as a result.
3. How the setback made you feel
4. And one or more things that you are doing to regulate to get back to a more stable place (an action) that is positive.
5. A longer term goal to help maintain the goal behavior.


So I'll go first: Today's attempt at re-regulation (my plan):
1. My T broke my trust and I have to get another one-that is just plain scary.
2. I moved back to the bedroom-and shut down (safe-place)-something I thought I had a handle on (time spent in bed).
3. I feel betrayed (not a new feeling-that was my life-filled with betrayal) and this feeling and my replay of things in my head (looping) is preventing me from living and moving forward.
4. I looked for another T and she's on a trial basis, but getting out of bed has been hard. I feel like I've really gone backwards. But I will clean up the room, make my bed, stay out of it till at least 8pm, get something to eat (eating went to hell, big time), and will go out of the house to get some healthy groceries and if time, a pedicure (positives).
5. Goal: To get out of the bed by 9am and stay out of the bed until 8pm-(getting in bed is for sleep-not a living place).

I'd love to hear how other's get back to feeling like life is stable again.....I hate going backwards....its the wrong direction.
 
I had a situation at work where I was being bullied. I had to take it. There was no solution. I vented to friends, until they complained about me doing so. So, I stopped that. I just plain took it and finally got a break, because I was able to move to another desk. So if it was going on, I did not have to hear it anymore. At least the person did not longer bully me outright.

Eventually the person left. I cannot say I was happy about that exactly, because the person had friends that cared about them. So, sometimes you just have to sit it out and be patient, and life will shift and change eventually. I do feel that I re-regulated when I was able to move to the new desk. Sometimes you have to do something like that to change a situation that is bothersome.

Since it was a work situation, I did not fall into staying in bed. I knew I had to get up, or lose my job. Been there and done that in my life before. I realized then that is was not helpful, so I stopped staying in bed after about 2 weeks. I simply just made myself get up, go out and do things. I did have a goal at that time in the back of my mind, it was to move from that place, to be a missionary to another place. That kind of did work out, too, in the long run. I have a ministry of sorts now.
 
Something close to this, actually.

I'd love to hear how other's get back to feeling like life is stable again

... realizing one thing is not the whole life.

One area of life is not the whole, either.

I hate going backwards..

... Or that backwards can be useful to me, in so many ways.
I was waay more stable at some areas some years.
Better handling certain situations, too.
So as long as I can cherry pick of what worked better, and use that now, instead of get sucked into areas that were a mess even then, and I learned of only with time? Good. :whistling:

its the wrong direction.

.... and by challenging myself on directions, too.
U Turns are win, so are bootlegs.
It really depends on what/who is both ahead, but also behind me.

What Im doing with me may not be wrong, per se, just because it is the old thing.
 
Hey TruthSeeker love this thread!

1. New job with tons of quick interpersonal interactions. If the interaction isn't 1000% explicitly positive, then I'm left extremely fearful and unsure if things are okay.

2. As a result I went straight back into emotional numbing/armoring.

3. I was super worried because after 4 months of unemployment and job seeking this was the only employer to call me back and I need the job and income to live. But also, I don't want to undermine all the time, work and money I've put in w therapy and body work.

4. I spent ALL my spare time doing self-care examples: breath work, meditation, yoga, warm aromatherapy baths, anything to message to my body that I was safe. eventually I re-calibrated - also - just over time getting better and more competent at the job meant that people were less shitty to me on a regular basis. This took months.

5. Didn't want to get fired due to my reactivity - didn't want to loose the headway I'd gotten w my healing.
 
@junalee Good luck on managing at work.

1. Worked on forgiveness.... the T issue that started this month's dissociative roll (it's always something).....that helped stop the looping). Assuming she is human, has her own shxt, .....that has stopped the the initial downward spiral, a major head swirl.....

2. Dr. visits have been causing my vision to get "fuzzy/foggy/dissociative" and that makes sense since I had years of medical trauma when i was a kid/adult....and yesterday I couldn't even make it into get blood work after I was sent from the doctor's office 45 min. away for blood work. I got hot, dizzy/foggy....and went to the car and turned the air conditioner on me full blast (no-wasn't menopause hot flashes)-cold seems to help and my car feels safer than my own home....so that helps. Once in the car, and cool.....vision clear and restored. I ran away..... I skipped the blood work.....and went home.....and felt better. Guess I'll try to give blood again tomorrow.
 
1. I've been really stressed because of school, and then I talked about sexual assault trauma. Lots of them. All in one night. And my friend shared hers and now I keep bringing it up. My anxiety is so bad my body is having a flare up of chronic pain.
2. I have been oversharing, snapping at people because my anxiety is so high, and trying to numb myself. I haven't been putting down any boundaries because I'm terrified of saying no--and now I see where it is all linked to!!!
3. I feel like I betrayed myself, and I feel like I'm not taking myself or my diagnosis seriously.
4. I'm going to set boundaries. I'm going to relegate some responsibilities for my group project. I'm going to reach out to professors to tell them I had a flare, although they can't really do anything about my deadlines. I'm going to set two hours a day just for me to re-regulate, meditate, exercise, and journal, one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening. I'm not going to answer my phone after 9pm (time zones be d*mned).
5. I'm going to tell people when I can't talk about something. I'm going to set boundaries.

Thank you for this post!!
 
1.So can you share what feeling or situation caused (generally speaking) you to get dysregulated.
2.What behavior you did as a result.
3. How the setback made you feel
4. And one or more things that you are doing to regulate to get back to a more stable place (an action) that is positive.
5. A longer term goal to help maintain the goal behavior.

1) smelling smoke, an aggressive look giving blood as my brain froze; couldn't think
2) explode by yelling at the nurse
3) out of control, embarrassed, failure, angry
4) hit golf balls, went outside, spoke to someone I know at the range
5) be in the moment, be okay with and allow for missteps, Not sure...
 
1) Got a message from my attorney -pissed me off-triggering
2) Got really irritated and wrote a pissy text back to attorney-stand up and fight
3) Felt better-my usual take is let it go....no, I'll fight my abuser this time
4) Found I wasn't dissociating......but still seething
5) staying in touch w feelings helped, and letting go.....a problem far away-attorney can solve it
6) a little victory-a year ago....I'da been floating.
 
1. I've been really stressed because of school, and then I talked about sexual assault trauma. Lots of them. All in one night. And my friend shared hers and now I keep bringing it up. My anxiety is so bad my body is having a flare up of chronic pain.
2. I have been oversharing, snapping at people because my anxiety is so high, and trying to numb myself. I haven't been putting down any boundaries because I'm terrified of saying no--and now I see where it is all linked to!!!
3. I feel like I betrayed myself, and I feel like I'm not taking myself or my diagnosis seriously.
4. I'm going to set boundaries. I'm going to relegate some responsibilities for my group project. I'm going to reach out to professors to tell them I had a flare, although they can't really do anything about my deadlines. I'm going to set two hours a day just for me to re-regulate, meditate, exercise, and journal, one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening. I'm not going to answer my phone after 9pm (time zones be d*mned).
5. I'm going to tell people when I can't talk about something. I'm going to set boundaries.

Thank you for this post!!

Sorry I'm so late in responding....to a thread I started...I'm traveling....That sounds very positive....succinct.....and a great plan! You go!?
 
I had a plan to improve health, lose weight, and feel better and I had just started and lost 3 lbs (motivating)......but been derailed by current and past issues w family, and other situations, and miss my daughter so-but I can't change that situation.....and when I look at this situation....I'm the one who is not benefiting by letting life beat me down and fail in my attempts to improve. I need to regroup...reregulate .to get back with the original plan.

So, I set myself up to give a motivation to move forward with my health. I signed up for a photography safari next year....and it will require me to be much more physically fit than I am, and stronger because there are heavy things I have to carry and long distances I'll have to walk. Jazzed about the opportunity, motivated to feel and look better physically, kinda...excited actually.

Goal: Lose 35 lbs in a year and "bulk up" my muscles and get up to 5 miles walking with a pack on my back.
1.So, next Monday I start exercising daily-1-30 min. walk if it's not raining
2. Get on scale every day
3.3 times per week to the gym for water aerobics
4. 1200 cal. a day of healthier eating
5. Make bed daily and stay out of it from 8am- 9pm.
Temporary Fail Clause: and if I fail, I get up the next day, climb on scale, and try again (not wait till the following month)
 
Get on scale every day
Good evidence that this is counterproductive.

Your body fluids will fluctuate day to day, as will your weight. I haven’t come across any medically-backed (or even dietician-backed) diet program that recommends weighing yourself any more frequently than once per week.

Try and do it first thing in the morning, wearing roughly the same amount of clothes, before you hit breakfast and fluids. Gives you a good idea of how much you’ve lost over the week.

Losing weight (or putting on weight) over 24 hours is unlikely to be anything other than fluids. Many people who have had treatment for an eating disorder will tell you that daily weigh-ins instil anxiety and a unhealthy mindset regarding sustainable healthy eating practices and body image.

I know that probably sounds unsupportive. Your other goals sound awesome - maybe break them down into smaller goals and smaller timeframes so that you have more achievement milestones built in, you know?

For example, the year’s goal may be 35lbs, but this month I want to lose the first 8 lbs (your first month on a healthy weight loss plan, which covers both diet and exercise, the first fortnight is usually the largest weight loss period).

You can do the same with the walking goals. So, set a goal to walk 2 miles a day, 4 days per week, within 2 months. That becomes an achievement, which you find a way to celebrate. Keeps the motivation going to see yourself achieving milestones, so breaking them up into smaller ones is helpful for a lot of people.

Definitely do something for yourself at the 3 month mark. 3 months is, as a rule of thumb, a good average time to set a new habit. So, if you’re walking most days in 3 months time? Celebrate that, because it means that it’s becoming your new normal, and something you’re more likely to stick with long term.

And of course, check in here for motivation when you get low (it happens) - no doubt people will be more than happy to give you a motivation boost and cheer you on:)
 
@Sideways....went away for a week.....starting over tomorrow. Didn't gain, didn't lose.....didn't get on my cousins scale, but we did go walking in the park 3 times....the rest of the time spent was painting curtains. Back at it tomorrow. I think you are right....breaking it up into smaller goals......a good idea to keep motivated. Thanks for the positive feedback!
 
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