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Realized Guy I Date Looks a Lot Like Molester From Childhood

Discussion in 'General' started by vera, Sep 8, 2007.

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  1. vera

    vera Active Member

    i met this guy, he's 35 and 13 years older than me, he asked me out.

    i wouldn't want anything serious right now because i'm recently off four years of two abusive/complicated relationships one after the other and i think i need to be alone now, but i could use some interesting company.

    three dates went by and everything was so ok, he's very interesting, he's very sweet to me and always waits for me to decide to make a move instead of him doing them (i'm the one who calls him when i want to meet, we only had sex because i came onto him, that stuff).

    but earlier today i was posting to my diary here and the story of a man who did some bad things to me when i was a kid came up, and as i rethought it to post it i realized this guy looks a lot like him!

    i don't know what to do. i enjoyed our dates a lot, but now i don't know if i want to see him again. it freaks me out!

    what am i supposed to do? am i supposed to "be strong" and try to forget what i just discovered? if i stop seeing him, do i tell him why? isn't it gonna sound stupid? if i see him again, how am i supposed not to think about it and freak out?

    am i going out of my mind, and liking him because he looks like that guy?
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  3. Marilyn_S

    Marilyn_S Well-Known Member

    Hello Vera,

    I don't really know of any grand advise other than just be truthful with the guy. May be tell him that he looks like a guy that hurt you bad one time and you are afraid it will come inbetween you enjoying his company. There is nothing wrong with having feelings, especially if he looks like someone who molested you. I don't think you are crazy. Just be careful and take gentle care of yourself.

    Marilyn S.
  4. vera

    vera Active Member

    thanks Marilyn... i appreciate you taking the time.
    i'm feeling calmer now...
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