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Really bad triggers

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I have a horrible issue with being triggered by nudity or sex scenes in movies, videos or TV shows, I try to talk myself through them but it doesn't work I feel a panic and a tightness in my chest, my heart races and then I close my husband out. I cannot stop this as much as I want to, I just want to be normal. Anyone else have this or know how to deal with it?
 
I deal with triggers 1 of 2 ways ...although there’s actually 3.

1. Fast & Dirty. Not recommended. This is how I initially learned, and I didn’t know at the time that it’s flip a coin as to whether it works (and the trigger is no longer a trigger) or makes everything infinitely worse (the trigger gets cemented in with a much harder/stronger reaction). What it involves is invoking a full force response, over, and over, and over again. My first go at this I spent a long weekend with a couple mates who just triggered me, and tackled me to the floor. Over. And over. And over again. Eventually I learned to recover from the panic attacks faster, respond less violently, be able to think/see act deliberately (even though my body was still responding my mind could divorce itself from that), and then eventually see the edges of the panic attack coming on and yank it by its collar right back down to earth before it could kick off. (would feel like my heart skipped a beat as it would speed up 3 quick beats, then drop down to normal). Fractional second awareness. BOOM! See it. Stop it. The only outward response would be a quickly indrawn breath, or a half missed step. And then nada. No response at all. <<< For yeeeeeears I stayed at those last 2 levels. Either I didn’t get triggered at all, or I could yank it back under control so fast an observer wouldn’t see it unless they were looking closely. Like pupillary reaction and HR/BP level of closely.

2. Slow & Sane was what I came up with / reverse engineered out of ^^^that^^^ when I didn’t have mates to tackle me to the floor, so I needed to keep things in a range I could deal with, my own self. Essentially I just flirted around the edges of a trigger, provoking the teeniest, tiniest, barely a response. Little spike. And then back away. Little spike. Back away. Little spike. Back away. Over and over and over... until it got boring. No more little spike. So I’d move in closer, or come at it from a different direction. As many possible directions as I could find. Anything, in any way, that caused a reaction. Until, there was no more response at all. None. Zip zero nada zilch. Different triggers took different amounts of time to chip away at, and smooth out, like this. Some could be sorted in weeks. Most took months. A few took years. <<< Come to find? (Ah. Reinventing the wheel. :facepalm: ) This has a name. It’s called Exposure Therapy.

Neither of the 2 above ways are permenant or 100%. Even things I had so well sorted they were in my daily life for years could knock me flat if I was surprised under the right circumstances. But the next day? Right back to no reaction whatsoever. I tried adding the surprise factor in, but never got a lot of traction with that one, so I didn’t pursue it. Shrug. And then unfortunately new trauma, big stressors, and loss of a few key coping mechanisms brought all my triggers back, full force, as if I’d never even sorted one of them, much less all of them. Why? Because I only dealt with symptoms the first time through. I didn’t deal with the root cause IE the trauma.

III. (3) Trauma Therapy. Go after the cause, rather than just treating the symptoms.
 
@Friday gave great advise. But just so you know you aren’t alone — I have the same issue. I’ve been trying hard to ignore it, but so far it’s messed up my ability to watch things with my family.

I’ve found I feel safer working on it if I’m alone. If I’m with my mom, I feel like I’m not allowed to pause, leave, or ignore. Something else to work on, maybe — probably not worth it. But my point is that you can figure out where you feel safest with it, and then start there. Get slowly out of your comfort zone.
 
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