So, this all started because I was molested by a doctor during a physical exam when I was about 13. Although it was a terrible experience, I felt like I was dealing with it just fine and it didn't significantly impact my life. Fast forward a quarter of a century. I started going to a physical therapist and had frequent exams-- gown and all. Apparently, I was blacking out in these and said some pretty nasty sexual things to the doctor(s), yes more than one in different exams. At the end of the exam, I remembered nothing-- until the office girls started treating me with shock and awe, like I had done something really wrong. Oh, and the doctors treated me very nicely, like they were really happy to see me. Then, I started having flash backs to what I said, but I'm not sure if I actually did anything or not. I'm thinking "yes" but hoping "no." Eventually, my problems at the office progressed to hallucinations-- visual and auditory, but they didn't contact my husband, which lends more credence to the "yes" scenario above. I've been seeing a wonderful therapists and have had no more occurrences of the PTSD outside the office, although I had lingering anxiety and headaches for a few months. I'm working with him to develop coping strategies for doctor's appointments and to strengthen my defense mechanisms and my ability to put a stop to questionable situations-- which has been a problem that's gotten me into sticky situations throughout adolescence and into adulthood. Because I live in a really small town, this has been extra embarrassing. What if the neighbors, the kids, their friends' parents find out? Even though it's been a tough situation for me and my wonderful husband to deal with, what saves me from depression is the fact that I can kind of laugh at the situation. The expressions on those doctors' faces when I would walk into the office is priceless, and outside the gown exams I was normal, which confused the heck out of them. Am I warped or is it ok to laugh at myself over this?