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Really Sick with Severe Trauma - My Girlfriend Died in My Arms From MVA

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by anonymous, Dec 4, 2006.

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  1. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    I have ptsd. I am 17 and last year my girlfriend was killed in a car accident right next to me. We were in the back seat. I pulled her out and she died right in my arms. Am I allowed to say this? Sorry if I am too upfront. I also busted my head in the accident and had internal damage emotionally. It is impossible for me to be happy. I was really in love and miss her. Every night I have nightmares. Then on top of it, I told my best friend what happened because i couldnt hide it with all the nightmares, and he thought I was weird and he started avoiding me until finally I confronted him and flipped out and now he doesnt speak to me. I really liked him too. Im just so confused and dont even know how to live life anymore. I have nobody to talk to. I dont think i can ever heal.
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  3. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    Welcome to the forum! Nope, don't be worried about being a straight shooter or up front. It is the best way to be as it gives everyone a chance to support you better.

    I know right now you may feel you will never heal, but it can happen. We all feel that way from the start for sure! When we get going good then some days are bad we can feel that way again. But slowly we creep into feeling better and healing. It won't happen overnight. And there are many here who will help support you and listen when you need to let pain out in ranting, raving, venting... We all do it.

    Glad you found us and hope we can help.
  4. Terry

    Terry Well-Known Member

    Your in the right place. This forum is prolly the only real honest place. Be true and kind to yourself first. Keep reading and you will find out your not alone here. I'm sure you will find someone with a similar circumstance that may help you to heal.
    Don't give up.
  5. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

    hi anon, welcome to the forum, hang in there, look around here at all the information and see that there is help. are you seeing a dr.? therapist? hope so. i am so sorry about your gf. no one here will discount your love for her. this is a good place to start healing. go slow, and reach out when you're desperate.
    cathy (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
  6. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    I saw a therapist for a few months, but now it is just to get medication which I dont think helps me much. It is for antidepressant. I cant eat much either. Ive gone from 170 to 125 pounds. I just feel alone, I dont go to normal school since, now I go to alternative school with only a few people, so I dont have friends. I dont talk much anymore because there is nobody to talk to. Also, Sleeping is very hard because of the all the time nightmares. I sit in my dark room all day. I am sorry if I sound like I am complaining by the writing, but Im just explaining. I want to get better. It just seems like all I can do is suffer. My brain wont help me because its damaged yet I am aware of it. I dont get it...
  7. carpediem2006

    carpediem2006 Active Member

    Everything you say is completely 'normal'. It is a normal reaction to what has happened through both loss (bereavement and the 'low' feelings it gives to put a word to it- there is none adequate) and the nightmares through the traumatic experience.

    The nightmares will fade and become less intense. Treat them as a normal reaction and you may begin to feel better about the fact that they are occurring. The subconcious dreams on a daily basis, but with an experience like you have had it goes into 'overdrive'. We've all been there, some of us still are, but it gets better.

    The other thing that sounds possible is withdrawing socially. Guilty of that one too here. You need time, but also read a lot- maybe start with the entry in Wikipedia on Post Traumatic Stress...

    You will get better, but first try and understand what is happening is normal and make sure you have a doctor that understands that too, and isn't just posting a depressed badge on it. It is more than that and where there is depression it is often related to not understanding what is happening to you in other areas such as forgetfullness, not feeling understood, not understanding yourself.

    Stay with us and find out more. Coming here has been extremely useful for me. Ultimately you will take what you want from the information you recieve. Your perspective on what is happening has to remain your own.

    Good luck....I am going to be away for a while from tomorrow, but will be back at the latest in the New Year.

    It gets better, however much you may think it may not, it's not the case.
  8. anonymous

    anonymous Guest

    I have posted my full story in the trauma diaries.
  9. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

    hugs tight.

    It takes a lot of bravery to ask for help and a hell of a lot more to heal.

    Welcome Anon. I hope you can find what you need with us.

  10. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Hi Anon-

    I'm so sorry about your loss. This is a safe place to come to learn and heal.

    Welcome and glad you've found us.
  11. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Hi Anon, welcome to the forum. You can heal, trust me... you just don't see it at present. The only thing stopping a person healing, is themselves! Get to know this, because your going to refer towards it lots, especially when your cycle is down, low, depressed... you need to know this phrase, and remember it, because it is one thing that can get you past yourself.
  12. Mr_Winkybean

    Mr_Winkybean New Member


    Hi..my name is Scott and i want you to know that i can completely relate to you and what you must be going through. I also have night terrors and i hear voices sometimes and in the beginning, a lot of people thought i was wierd, but as time passed...they came around and if they didn't then i really didn't need them to begin with. We have to put ourselves around other people who love us...who understands us and the things that we are going through as sufferers of PTSD and any other mental illness for that matter.
    You said that you didn't know how to live an i completely understand that. I feel sometimes like i'm only breathing in and out...but not really living. I haven't been happy in so long and so often i want to give up but i can't...because i know that part of PTSD is just a cycle...and when that cycle comes around, life is good for 2 to 4 months at a time before the darkness hits again. I guess what i'm trying to say is that you are not alone and i'm a real good listener if ever you need to just talk...Take care...

    At least rock bottom is solid ground.

  13. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

    anonymous, We care!

    Welcome aboard Anonymous! You're not complaining at all...Not one single bit. Hope you'll be sharing here with us as much as is best for you. You have all of us. We here with you, and want to be here for you. What you described can all be a very normal PTSD response and I relate. I understand nightmares...sitting alone in the dark....not having anyone to talk with...and believing I'll never, ever feel happiness again.

    It's all gonna' get better anonymous, and I believe it can for you. Wishing you the best! Maybe you wanna take Scott up on his offer, ..says he a good listener I hear. We want to be here for you anonymous! You want to get better...that's a large part of this....Now find out how, apply what you learn and begin developing the skills. You can do this. We're pulling for you.

    ....sincerely, goingonhope
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