D
Deleted member 27125
Hi everyone. I have C-PTSD and chronic pain. I've been out of work for over a year. I got married a little over a year ago - I thought my husband was the nicest, most loving person, up until a week ago. Recently I have been making more concrete steps to combine our finances - I had been trying to do so for the last year but he didn't follow through, whenever the topic of money came up he became stressed and angry with me. Last week, he left me a note saying that he's been lying to me for years about how much he has in his savings account - he has been living paycheck to paycheck, but he had been saying we had x amount, which would go toward our future home together. I discovered that he has a shopping addiction - a lot of electronics, which he made up elaborate stories about how he got them for free. He lied about how much money he made through his hobby, quite a sizable amount. I also discovered he has a problem with compulsive overeating, and has been spending a lot of money on expensive food. He has lied about how much our bills cost (the ones he manages). I am devastated. I want a divorce but I have to stay married to him because I need to be on his health insurance. I have a lot of health issues. I am also needing to find a job ASAP which is causing me tremendous stress because I only have a Bachelor's degree in a field I would need more education to pursue. Does anyone have advice? I feel heartbroken, scared, and it's hard to not let my hopelessness win. I don't have any friends my age. I have a decent amount of savings from when I used to work, but it wouldn't touch the cost of my medical bills if I didn't have insurance. It is difficult to live with my husband. Can pathological liars change? He is starting therapy, but I don't know how effective that will be. I don't want to be dependent on my husband. I'm trying to find the courage to move forward but I feel lost.