Sufferer Recently discovered childhood abuse in my lifetime it's been rough.

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adamjam

Hello, I'm new here. I recently discovered childhood abuse in my lifetime it's been rough. I've been diagnosed with PTSD something I've had most of my life but went untreated and I've had to adapt to that. All these years I have thought I was just born wrong, I was different and I learned to accept that. I feel like now perhaps I should accept I've been damaged and just try and get through life as best as I can, it's been 43yrs on this earth and I think I'm just too old.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
You are never too old to heal what has kept you unhappy and feeling like you were 'born wrong'. There are many people here on this forum who discovered in their 40's and later, they had things from the past that had gone unnoticed or not addressed and are finding their way back. You have nothing to lose by giving yourself a chance.

Welcome, I hope you read the different threads here that sound like they might resonate with you to find out you are not alone. And that age makes no difference.

Having PTSD is nothing to be ashamed of any more than if you had diabetes or chronic back pain. Things happened that shaped your future before you had any say so in your life. Now you get to have a say on how your story grows.

Glad you are here.
 

Still Standing

MyPTSD Pro
You have just embarked on a new journey in your life, adamjam. It is one of learning why you feel the way you do and why you act the way you act and why you see things the way you do. You are not damaged...you are just bruised up a bit. Knowing the "whys" opens the door of understanding. Once understanding comes, it gives choices in what is to be done about it. It sounds like you have opened one of those doors. This is a good place to be for support and education as you venture forward.
Being in your 40's may seem old, but from my perspective, it is a young age with a promise of time to readjust and apply the good things that are available today in the age of PTSD awareness. Welcome!
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
Another person here , started therapy in 40's, after realising I had to stop pretending CSA didn't matter and hadn't happened.
Whilst I'm sad it's taken me until now to fully acknowledge, at least I am working through it now.
It's never too late.

I keep thinking of this quote I read about someone who had turned 100. He said "I wish o had learnt to play the violin when I was 60 and didn't think I was too old to learn, as I would have been able to say I have played the violin for 40 years".
I like that quote.
 

adamjam

New Here
Thanks everyone for the support, it does help to know I'm not really alone. My anxiety makes it hard for me to post for some reason being online doesn't help in this, and I often struggle in knowing what to say or how to reply. Typically I would just avoid something like this.
 

adamjam

New Here
Another person here , started therapy in 40's, after realising I had to stop pretending CSA didn't matter and hadn't happened.
Whilst I'm sad it's taken me until now to fully acknowledge, at least I am working through it now.
It's never too late.

I keep thinking of this quote I read about someone who had turned 100. He said "I wish o had learnt to play the violin when I was 60 and didn't think I was too old to learn, as I would have been able to say I have played the violin for 40 years".
I like that quote.
That is an awesome quote, I wrote it down.

You have just embarked on a new journey in your life, adamjam. It is one of learning why you feel the way you do and why you act the way you act and why you see things the way you do. You are not damaged...you are just bruised up a bit. Knowing the "whys" opens the door of understanding. Once understanding comes, it gives choices in what is to be done about it. It sounds like you have opened one of those doors. This is a good place to be for support and education as you venture forward.
Being in your 40's may seem old, but from my perspective, it is a young age with a promise of time to readjust and apply the good things that are available today in the age of PTSD awareness. Welcome!
Thank you. I certainly feel old hahaha but I'm learning some amazing things.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
It is hard to open up to strangers. Even online. But hope you remember we all felt that way and just took it at our own pace. Trust is not automatic. But even if you find you can't post I hope you do read the huge amount of information and experiences that can help you to get thru the days.

Glad you are here and give yourself some kudos for trying!!!
 

adamjam

New Here
It is hard to open up to strangers. Even online. But hope you remember we all felt that way and just took it at our own pace. Trust is not automatic. But even if you find you can't post I hope you do read the huge amount of information and experiences that can help you to get thru the days.

Glad you are here
I am going to keep trying, I dont have any friends or family irl so I'm pretty isolated and alone. I dont feel so alone on here.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
I am going to keep trying, I dont have any friends or family irl so I'm pretty isolated and alone. I dont feel so alone on here.
I don't have any friends in real life either and I only see my mum. Sometimes play Xbox online with my brother. I've made some good friends on here though. It takes time and this site has become a really good source of support for me. Hope your ok. 😊
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
Many of us feel that way about the forum. You'll meet people here that can possibly be great online friends. And for me, it's the family I don't have in real life.

Just take your time, and know that when you do post, you are heard. Even that felt strange to me in the beginning. Set your own pace.

The people here understand and hope you find healing here as well.
 

adamjam

New Here
Many of us feel that way about the forum. You'll meet people here that can possibly be great online friends. And for me, it's the family I don't have in real life.

Just take your time, and know that when you do post, you are heard. Even that felt strange to me in the beginning. Set your own pace.

The people here understand and hope you find

I don't have any friends in real life either and I only see my mum. Sometimes play Xbox online with my brother. I've made some good friends on here though. It takes time and this site has become a really good source of support for me. Hope your ok. 😊
I'm well, was able to advocate for myself with the propane company and after two years of struggling I am now on an affordable payment plan and will have heat consistently this winter. This morning is the first in a while I woke up not thinking suicide.
 
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