• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Recognition

Status
Not open for further replies.

lovak

Confident
It's been a while scince I posted here.
I've been doing ok. Still not working, but PTSD wise it was quiet the last couple of months, untill last Saturday. I can't ever get rid of it, but luckily after that meltdown I pulled myself back together pretty quickly.

Today I did something I've been postponing for YEARS. I put in a request for a damage fund for victims of violent crimes.
I live in a great country. We have this national damage fund for victims of violent crimes that can't get compensation from their perpetrators for whatever reason. They do this purely to recognize the pain and suffering of victims and their families, as a society.
You can claim up to ten years after the crime. In a couple of months, it will be ten years ago.

I never did it. I couldn't do it. I never reported it, I have no proof. But the main issue was that I could never admit that I was in fact a victim. That I was not to blame. That I shouldnt be ashamed. After the meltdown last saturday I got reminded - again. But in the meltdown I lost touch with reality again, I wasn't sure that my husband didnt want to abuse me so I locked myself in the bathroom and then froze. Couldnt move. So my husband eventually had to force his way in to help me get out of it.

And with this application, I feel like I'm saying: Here I am. I am a victim. I am a survivor. I am suffering. I am not to blame.

Not that anyone will know, and I don't really care about the money per se, but just taking this step is huge for me.

I don't know if my application will be approved. But it would mean so much to me. And the most important thing is that I stated my position, regardless of what happens next.

Big step here!
 
This is amazing, whether you get it or not. Really, you’ve already gotten the satisfaction of validating and listening to your self. It’s amazing! :D
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top