Recorded therapy sessions

grit

MyPTSD Pro
It looks like almost any therapy is online now....are there people seeing therapist in person? I am more or less talking about North America.

I am wondering if anyone receives recorded sessions and the therapist shares the recording and if this ever helped or hinder?
It is my first time for online therapy and I actually found it easier than in person in many ways as being with my body alone in the room gives me more focus on it than being distracted by the therapy office or the therapist herself.

My question is did anyone ever get their recorded sessions and benefit from the experience or hinder it by it? or maybe even harmed by it?

I am curious to see in video of what I am like when I am experiencing traumatic parts of myself, in transference, or displaying primitive defenses. In real life, I find, I do not express verbally and pay attention to body but in therapy, I verbalize triggers while triggered....and usually caught myself in the act....recognition...but this takes a while as I am not often conscious at the beginning but I think (could be wrong) by watching myself I may recognize my childlike parts that are stuck in the past easier.

Thank you for any input.
 

grit

MyPTSD Pro
Dead on arrival. My therapist does not allow it. Seeing myself on camera really gave me an idea that I could observe my non verbal and verbal tendencies.... To have ideas or insights but not by t and I respect her stance even if I do not agree.

Edit... It reminded how reality TV changes people when they see themselves on TV! Same mindset.
 

Friday

Moderator
Now I’m confused... Are you using an app that doesn’t allow for call records?

I haven’t done live calls in ages, but I always had a record of each call. Just click on the file log list, select the date and time, and watch the entire convo. One only had to download a second program to record if you wanted to record yourself gaming, etc. (At the time Fraps was the best, but I’m fairly certain they’ve been outcompeted by now.) Seems odd to think the tech has moved backwards, rather than forwards, with even more user controls.
 

grit

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks Friday.

My therapist uses zoom and she has to record the sessions. I asked her and she said she does not do that.

I have all calls recorded on my cell automatically but we are not phone therapy. I really wanted to see and study my own non verbal communication with a person.... I have traumatic parts that I can always feel them after therapy... So I was more curious.

The more I think about this I think it will become common as the millennial'sand their children go to therapy. But now it is kind of taboo to share this form of communication with clients.
 

Wendell_R

MyPTSD Pro
I am in an unusual situation--my therapist started filming our sessions just before the pandemic for the purpose of making training videos. (I'm fully supportive, and there was no pressure on me.) But, to the point of this thread, I have no desire to watch the resulting videos of myself. Knowing I won't see them somehow makes me more free to act as I will act.

Today, I told T that I had found in the FAQs technical details on how she could record me doing virtual sessions, and that was fine with me. But I still don't want to look at the recordings.
 

grit

MyPTSD Pro
blackemerald1
Thank you for the thought. My husband is techie and said the same thing too but I am not interested in taping without my therapist knowledge. In therapy I do not want dis-honesty.

@Wendell_R

I understand your feelings and I know also from the past I would have been too self conscious but I am not. My differences in parts are not too wide but too far. I can t access certain triggered memories but I know and can feel after....

My therapist said for example when I was telling a torture moment by my mother I was smiling. But my throat was lumped and I could not speak. Of course I was not looking at my face... I was too far into the past. But what struck me was, ooh maybe I was also feeling how Incredulous that experience was....
I thought after if I was watching myself I can tell what feeling I had that of course others may not know. There is limitation to mind reading of others and even self but I can see an old picture of me abd can tell my thoughts and remember better.

I think and honestly I could be wrong but for some people who are visuals like me and who are certain level of grieving watching our therapy sessions may be beneficial as I can read my own body if I could see it and then explore.

However for some people who prefer other type senses or maybe have other sensebilities maybe not a good idea.

Today I think I could handle it but maybe not tomorrow.

However I applaud you for your support in others by lending yourself as subject of study.. That is a great ulturism.
 

Ronin

MyPTSD Pro
N/A, as I don't do vid calls (correction: I do vid calls with people I can trust with my life & / or that need to monitor me, but even then, they respect I'm skittish as f*ck and what to do with the records afterwards) -

But kudos to you for exploring what makes you comfortable and not, and it seems gaining further insights as to your healing process. :tup: It's good you are clarifying needs and wants on the recovery road.
 

piratelady

MyPTSD Pro
I think this is an interesting topic. A while back I was looking for a new journal app to write my thoughts down after therapy. I found one that also said it was set up to record and securely store your therapy sessions. This was pre-pandemic, so I assume it meant the audio. That intrigued me and I googled about it. Google told me that a lot of therapists don’t allow recording because it creates some liability issues. Anyway, I just thought it was interesting.

I’m still going to therapy in-person thank goodness. I have issues with being on video regardless so I wasn’t sure how I would handle telehealth and being able to see myself during therapy. Having a recoding of it, personally I think would screw with my head pretty bad. That’s just me though.
 

barefoot

MyPTSD Pro
Gosh @grit – that's brave!

I guess I would be intellectually intrigued to see what I'm like in therapy. I used to feel a lot like that in sessions when I first started therapy....it was as if I was observing myself at the same time of doing in. And that was sort of fascinating...but also hard because it's difficult to be in the process while at the same time also watching the process. And, anyway, I later realised that I was actually experiencing depersonalisation, so I guess that's a bit of a moot point. Sorry!

I do also think there could potentially be learning to be had in observing a recording your sessions – just as therapists can learn by watching the sessions back.

In reality though, I think I'd find observing a recording of myself absolutely excruciating!

Agree with @piratelady that I suspect many practitioners would see recordings as a potential risk. Of course, they may have to have some recording for training/supervision but that's very much for their use. I reckon there are also plenty of therapists who would just feel super-uncomfortable and self-conscious about being recorded.

And I imagine some would also worry that going back over sessions may not be the most useful/healthy thing for every client.

I do know lots of coaches who coach by phone and are totally ok about sharing the audio fine with the client. I don't know whether they also share visual recordings of video calls.

I know your T has said no, so you're unwilling to find a work around eg record the Zoom call or whatever and just don't tell her.
Totally get that.

However, if what you're most interested in is observing your responses/behaviours etc, I wonder whether you could be on the call with her on one device (eg computer) and have another (eg your phone) set up just pointed at you with the intention of focusing on your observations of yourself? Depending on how good your mic etc is, you might then pick up audio from her as well. But that's not really your reason for recording and not what you're particularly interested in when you watch it back. I wonder if that could be a compromise that still gives you what you're after?

Or would that still feel deceitful as she has said no to recording the session itself?

ETA - not sure if having both devices set up close together with mics on would create unbearably noisy feedback?!
 
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