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Recycling Symptoms - Excessive Stress Present

Discussion in 'General' started by Marlene, Jan 5, 2007.

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  1. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    A couple of weeks ago I had a really, really bad night and ended up calling my doctor for some help. Stress from my husband going back to work (afraid he'd get hurt again), holiday 'junk' and dealing with digging and delving into my traumas. My doctor told me I had exacerbated my symtpoms and was having panic attacks. To be perfectly honest, I felt damn near as bad as I felt when my symptoms first started in July. It really scared me that I was getting worse.

    Well, I got past that bad point, but I feel like I'm having a hard time getting back to where I was before. Or forward or whatever. I've been fighting depression, feeling tired a lot. I've had intrusive thoughts (I call them my 'OMG, what if...' thoughts), I'm seeing 'stuff' in my peripheral vision some (and why does is always have to be freakin' spiders?? Yuck!) and it feels like my general anxiety level is at a higher level. All stuff that's not been bothering me until lately.

    Then I'm also having a few moments where I'm feeling better, so maybe I'm pulling out of this (knock on wood!). It's just been so up and down for me.

    Just wondering if anyone else has had a tough time getting back on track after their symptoms kick up? I still feel like just about everyday something new pops up to learn about. Just how big is this learning curve anyway????
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  3. Roobear

    Roobear New Member

    Marlene- Oh not spiders!! I hate spiders..... Glad to hear that your starting to feel a little better. Having ptsd, I feel like I'm walking around with a certain amount of stress all the time. So when I add more stress to that, sometimes it can be too much and I can break down emotionally. If it's a really high amount of stress I can have some of the symptoms that I experienced in the begining of my pstd. If things are this bad, it can take me longer to feel better and pull out of my depression but I always do and I think you will too. The learning curve on this must be huge because I'm going on eight years and still am learning how my ptsd affects me. However I think the more you understand about your ptsd and how it's affecting you the less scary it is. Hope you continue to feel better, and in the mean time take extra care of yourself.
  4. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

    ya' that's what I'm doing too, beginning to learn so much everday, it feels overwhelming ... but, nobody can discover what's my balance, discipline, or pace me, but myself. I must be responsible for learning as much about balance, rest and relaxation as everything else and then then taking action and sometimes to do absolutely nothing. When I balance or just take down time and do this I bounce back, stronger and clearer than before. But I'm a tough nut to crack, as I can be obses./compuls., overly ambitious to learn, and passionate about goals and what interests me. And I tend to get in my own way and my mind complicates much. So I guess I'm one who's going to have to change through much pain.

    Boy' do the holidays take a toll on us Marlene, and then our own daily stress and the pain and discomfort of healing. The roller coaster ride is very much normal with all of this. Hold On, continue to ask for help when you need it, and try and enjoy the ride, bc at least it goes up and down, and it will....but the ride could just go down. Not such a great alternative. Do hope you feel better again soon though, Marlene.
  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    Marlene, I get going and fall down, get going further fall harder, keep going same thing. But I keep getting further. My crash today and some panic attacks cycled out of hand the other day (last week?), it HURT and still is stomping me. But I know I will recover and get a little further. You can to, it just takes a lot of time.
  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Roo-thanks...for hating spiders with me (double YUCK!) and letting me know that the bigger the fall on your butt, the harder it is to get up and back on track. There have been a number of times that I've hesitated to post things here for fear it was 'just me'...ya know? And every time others have said, 'Nope...not just you'. The relief in knowing I'm not alone in this is tremendous.

    Hope-Working hard on learning to enjoy the ride. I do know now why I've never liked roller coasters. LOL I've definately gotten more of an appreciations for the ups...even if it's just something as simple as having the energy to cook (I love to cook-but it's been hit or miss for a while now) or just being with my family and be in a good place. The hard part is reminding myself that the downs are temporary. More work ahead. But since I've felt good since I got up this morning, I'm not going to dwell on the not so good.

    Veiled-I think the thing that threw me the most was because I felt like I had been making some forward progress when the panic attacks hit. Then it's like 'did I really do anything or am I just fooling myself'. But if the price for going forward towards healing is a fall on my butt occasionally, then it's a price I'll gladly pay because I'm NOT going back to where I was before. Maybe next time I end up on my ass I'll understand better and know that it's an indication of heading in the right direction.
  7. kers

    kers I'm a VIP

    I don't have any advice or words of wisdom except your own:

    It's a pain the rear to realize that healing is a start/stop/reverse/forward process. I think your idea here is spot on.
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