Red faced - share some non-trauma things you find embarrassing

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
Here we go. I sucked my thumb right up into my twenties. I also kept one of my two childhood comfort items ( is there a word for this type of thing?) .

and yep, I still sucked my thumb when I met DH . He was the only partner who had seen me do it and I soon stopped.

after my breakdown and ptsd diagnosis I actually tried to suck my thumb again to see if it would sooth me- 😳😳😳😳😳😊but it doesn’t feel the same 😂😱🥲.

sometimes I feel homesick for the relief obtained by thumb sucking.
 

grief

Sponsor
hey, i got one. balalala! 🙃

so i had enuresis up until i was 16. did not even know it was a problem! i was always just shamed and laghed at. and made to sleep on the floor. when i had went to the hospitel which even when i was home less i did it and had to clean things and hide every thing and i slept on the ground. it was nearly every night!

and then when i had went to the hospitel they were like, "this is not normal." and i was like, oh god. i am a freak and blah blah. i maneged to learn how to sleep "almost awake." which is what i had usuelly done any way. but i did get over it in the hospitel.

however it has happened as an adult as well. not often. some times i get night terrors (actual night terrors due to my medicine. not nightmares. i do not remember them.) where you cannot rouse me. eyes open. and i am just yelling and thrashing. husband says it scarers the shit out of him. and i have pissed the bed as an adult as well. usuelly if i have been drinking or i had a night terror.

i had had also incidence of being very scared. because of what is going on around me. and it has happened due to fear. i had had guns fired at me and things.

so that is what i had dealt with for a long time. thankfully it is very rare now and i have a family that is very supporteve and does not shame me and things. unfortunetely that many people with trama do struggle with this. i know because i had had a discussien some where else that someone spoke up of it and all of the sudden many other people had spoken up.

so i will do that here. hopefully no one laughs at me! 🐙
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
I had to look that up @grief . I had some problems with that as a child after first CSA and later after my breakdown that lead to diagnosis. Not significantly often but enough to be upsetting- once is isn’t it?

I still have some minor issues and the women’s physio said it’s not physical.

so I won’t laugh at you at all. And perhaps weirdly- while I find it embarrassing for me I don’t blush for you at all -I see it as something that should make the people who hurt you very embarrassed though.

Funny how easy perspective is for someone else!
 

grief

Sponsor
And perhaps weirdly- while I find it embarrassing for me I don’t blush for you at all -I see it as something that should make the people who hurt you very embarrassed though.
the same of this goes for you mee. i see nothing shocking or embaressing about your post.

in fact of all the trama and things that you had endured. that seems quite normal! i would bet you are not the only one.

just as i am not.
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
It all centres around the one eye thing. I walk into anything and everything - all the time. Nothing like the ringing clang of a light post as you walk square into it, or walking into store displays, bedposts, walls, fences, doors, chairs, chair legs, tables, sign posts, parking meters, and anything else you can imagine.

Do you get lots of bruises?
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
Same here with the enuresis. It was a massive problem in my house and I kid you not, there are devices that my family bought that are a sort of water sensitive sanitary pad connected to an alarm that rang the hell out every time you peed yourself. I don't know in what universe they thought it was going to work out. It was called Charcot but it should have been called Skinner!!! I would just take it out and not sleep. Or pee myself. At the end I was buying diapers for myself and I was often sent to vacation camps where I would have to find ingenious ways to hide by waiting for every other child to fall asleep before splinter cell myself to the bathroom with a diaper I kept hidden behind a closet, place the thing without a sound which was hard and then walk back silently with the diapers, these things made of paper that make a lot of noise, and hope no one noticed anything. Same in the mornings I would make super everyone else would still be asleep (risky) or wait for them to have already left (less risky but then I'd be late for the breakfast and it just would be weird, why a kid would ever want to be late for breakfast?). Plus the added ingrogruence of hearing everyone talk about their crushes while you're wearing diapers.

It started to stop by itself between 12 and 13 but it still was something that could occur from time to time and certainly at some points if I am dead drunk and black out.

Thank god none my partners ever did say anything about it, even D said he understood it and that it wasn't an issue. He was the same I found out later. Really in everything shitty he could have said that one would have made me jump over the window, I'm grateful to my stars he's never picked that one up.

Now I'm caught by an array of nervous laughters.
 

FauxLiz

Sponsor
After I had my ptsd breakdown my children had outgrown their favorite stuffed animals and I was recently divorced. This was nearly 2 decades ago, I am in my 50’s now and I can’t sleep without the toys, I take them with me when I travel even flying. I have to be touching them when I am falling asleep or I panic. The kids are both grown and on their own but this way I feel closer to them and I am comforted by the feeling of they stuffed animal’s fur
 
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Skywatcher

MyPTSD Pro
I sleep with a stuffed animal, always have. I also may have almost sucked my thumb in a therapy session. I can’t bring myself to tell my T about the thumb that I tried at home once, like @Mee tried—didn’t work.

Other embarrassing things for me: nipples showing through clothes, potential period leaks, having to fart for a nurse after a colonoscopy, and not having a bra on when your child’s teenaged friends come in with her and walk through the house.
 

grief

Sponsor
i get emberressed about my learning disebilities some times. some times even of on here that i can come across more normally when my software integrates right. it is not always perfect so some times i don't bother and just with looking to autocorrect. and then some times that makes me more untintellibile. when i have to write presentations and things at work. or send emails. i am always nervous that of is this the time of where i am coherent? or inconherent? 🤷‍♂️
 

Mee

MyPTSD Pro
I sleep with a stuffed animal, always have. I also may have almost sucked my thumb in a therapy session. I can’t bring myself to tell my T about the thumb that I tried at home once, like @Mee tried—didn’t work.

Other embarrassing things for me: nipples showing through clothes, potential period leaks, having to fart for a nurse after a colonoscopy, and not having a bra on when your child’s teenaged friends come in with her and walk through the house.
And @FauxLiz - I think you guys sleeping with soft toys is quite lovely. And sensible to find something that soothes you.

thank you for making me feel less alone at trying thumb sucking .

How nipples are regarded in some countries is one of my personal gripes. Having been made to feel embarrased about part of your body being there is really, really crappy.
 
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