Reframing success

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koalaburger

Learning
I was 33 when my truth caught up with me. I resigned from the NSW Police force in Australia and fell apart. I had PTSD, but not from my work but from my childhood. I laughingly say I joined with PTSD to save time. I had gone to a lot of domestics in my last 6 months and seeing kids cowering in fear was too much. I went on to a disability pension and went to therapy and AA meetings etc. I would stay home a lot and watch TV. I have not worked in over 30 years and would be considered a loser and a failure by sections of the community. I had to let go of all societies narratives about success and create my own. With the horrendous abuse I am an amazing success by still being alive at 64. Many die from alcohol and drug abuse and suicide. I tried all 3 but I guess even God does not want me. Boom boom. I have had periods of not being able to shower or cook a meal. As I lay in bed of a night I count up on my fingers my successes during the day. Had a shower 1. Cooked a healthy meal 2. Talked to a friend or my sister on the phone 3. Vacuumed 4. Read a daily reading 5. One thing I am angry about from the verbal abuse is that I developed a strong, overbearing personality that lights up as soon as I am in company. I do not know how to read a room and don't know the social niceties of conversation and just blab my way in. I do not do it with friends or my sister. I have tried to overcome this by going to events and learning but I had to give up. A funny thing though is I had compassion for myself because I knew the full story of what made me that way. People who listen to shock jocks and read the wrong papers can be cruel but I know they are making an opinion based on not very much evidence. Those who mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
I have not worked in over 30 years and would be considered a loser and a failure by sections of the community. I had to let go of all societies narratives about success and create my own. With the horrendous abuse I am an amazing success by still being alive at 64.
You've done amazingly well - and this community can really appreciate it. Well done.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
I love the idea of reframing success. So many are stuck in those societal expectations, but if you can think outside the box, you're likely to be happier.

Sounds like you have been doing an amazing job!
 
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