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Relative is back on drugs/drinking and I don't want to see him.

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Lumos

MyPTSD Pro
My relative who I see regularly has clearly started taking drugs and or drinking again. He took drugs for many years and also was physically abusive to me when I was little. In recent years he had quit drugs and drink and we'd re-connected.

Things were fine until Christmas when he got drunk and slapped me, really hard, out of the blue (he had been drinking for hours before he done this).

He's also been swearing a lot more and making inappropriate sexual 'jokes' (not directed at me but it makes me very uncomfortable). He's become very arrogant and sarcastic too. I feel I have to humor him but it's so draining. I know he's going to text to say he'll visit me in a few days but I do not want to see him because of how he's been acting lately.

Is it best to just ignore him.. because I do not feel safe to confront him about his behaviour?
 
It's totally and utterly acceptable to not see someone who has just slapped you, in other words assaulted you.

It's perfectly acceptable to ignore him if that feels safest.
You don't need to confront his behaviour if you don't want to.
 
gentle empathy, lumos. watching a loved one regress to addictive behavior is harder than hard. resisting the urge to slide back to my codependent ways is even harder.

nobody ever saved a drowning victim by drowning with them. i ply lots and lots of self-care to the equation. i don't get to predict the future or control the behavior of others. i keep the focus on listening to and following my own needs, up to and including zero contact. i take it play by play.

for the loved one, prayer gives me something to do when there is nothing i can do.

for you, steadying support while you explore what is right for you.
 
It's making me unwell even thinking about seeing him, feel sick and anxious. It's making me feel like a scared child too. Thanks @Movingforward10 and @Survivor3 . I want to tell him I don't want to see him and it's because of his abusive behaviour but it seems pointless. He doesn't care how he affects other people. I've known this for years. I'm the fool for thinking he'd changed for the better.
 
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