I lately have been going to bed every night and staying awake for hours or sometimes the whole night. I am reliving in my head my rape except everytime i make it a new scenario where I do something different so he gets arrested, caught in the act or I am in on it in some way. It makes me ashamed like I am glorifying it in my head. Makes me feel like I almost liked it when I know at the time I was petrified with whole body fear. I don’t know why I am almost enjoying going through scenarios for hours to the point where I will barely sleep for a week. Is this normal!? I can’t find anything about these types of symptoms and responses online and I am starting to think something is really wrong with me. I am psycho.