Undiagnosed Reluctant to seek help as husband’s PTSD treatment lead to the behaviour which has led to mine.

Walkalone53

New Here
Hi I think I am suffering from Ptsd. I feel anxious most of the time, have flashbacks and suffer from insomnia. When I do manage to sleep I have the same dream. I feel like it is consuming my life. I really don't know what to do. My husband suffered from ptsd and saw a therapist and that is when his behaviour began which has lead to mine. So as you can imagine I am reluctant to seek that sort of help.
 

Friday

Moderator
Welcome to the community! :)

In theory, trauma-therapy is a shortcut & saves us reinventing the wheel (&/or falling face first into a giant hole of common problems/mistakes). In practice, that depends almost wholly on how good your therapist is, & how much responsibility someone is willing to take in their own life. The best therapist in the world can’t help someone who won’t work with them, and it doesn’t matter how motivated a person is who’s got a shitty therapist.

But -even best case scenario- that’s all trauma therapy is; a short cut. You can do virtually anything you’d do in therapy on your own, with the exact same prognosis (reducing your symptoms down to nil, or as near as makes no nevermind).

That’s what I did the first time I was in the PTSD-badlands (and ooooooooh yeah, did I fall face first into every freaking cliché / common problem)... and it probably took me longer than it would have if I’d had a highly educated/experienced guide... But? I still did it. And then spent the next 10 years durn near asymptomatic. New trauma, stressors, stress, & loss of coping mechanisms kicked me right back to “Go”, which is frustrating on a few different levels. Both because being symptomatic sucks, and because if I’d known then what I know now? I strongly suspect I could have either avoided PTSD Round2 entirely, or at the very least not fallen so hard, so fast, for so long. Sigh. C’est la vie. Live & learn. But? I still got my symptoms under control, and then managed the hell out of my super badass-awesome life that I was totally in love with, for a freaking decade. So I know it not only CAN be done, as I’ve done it, but with what I know now... have a wicked good chance at catching the next tailspin before it crashes. I’m also in fairly good company, as people have had PTSD for thousands of years & learned to manage it on their own.

So it’s hardly a hopeless or impossible task to set one’s self. Especially not with the shoulders of giants to stand upon... with sooooooo much good info out there to learn from, and peers to kick knowledge with in places like this, or in real life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of good therapy. Like goodprofessors & good friends, good therapists make learning infitinetly easier/ faster/ more fun; and provide a touchstone, an ally, and an occasional (or more frequent, if you’re thick headed like I am) wake up call. But those things are all bonus, not necessary or required.

Again, welcome.
 
Well hello and welcome.

My husband suffered from ptsd and saw a therapist and that is when his behaviour began which has lead to mine.

^Are you suggesting that your husbands therapist made him behave a certain way and then that led to your ptsd?

Hmm.. there are lots of illnesses out there. How's about you go to your gp and get a diagnosis and maybe a referral. Self diagnosis is rarely ever helpful.
 

anthony

Founder
Hi I think I am suffering from Ptsd.
Symptoms are just symptoms. You can have most symptoms of PTSD, and not have PTSD. Saying that, you may have PTSD. It is not uncommon that partners of a PTSD sufferer also obtain PTSD due to the sufferers behaviour. Its coined Secondary PTSD. It is just PTSD, but the name simply aids in how you got it, being from a PTSD sufferer.
My husband suffered from ptsd and saw a therapist and that is when his behaviour began which has lead to mine.
Treating trauma there is near always a spike in symptoms and thus behaviour. That can last months or years, depending on the severity. That is normal though.
So as you can imagine I am reluctant to seek that sort of help.
When you open something, its opened. Your mind is no different. People drink, do drugs, self medicate in various ways, all to keep their trauma closed off within their mind. Opening it up, whilst overall helpful in the longterm, is usually volatile in the short-term. Just the way it is. You have to get worse in order to get better, when it comes to treating trauma. People can try and believe that won't happen, but it will. Its just the brains way of dealing with what's overwhelming. Our brain has limits uniquely per person. Everyone has a breaking point, that simple. Once broken, getting back to any type of what the person defines is normal, is usually hard work.

Its not your partners fault, nor their therapists. Treating trauma simply equals, getting worse before getting better. But you do get better that way, and eventually trauma therapy no longer becomes as stressful with such aftermath.
 
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