Just wondering if this is a good idea. Doesn't feel like it. After meditating today, my mind started to think about my narcissistic, sadistic father as a child, the hurt he must have endured in order to become the mess he became. I thought about all the things he didn't get, all the wrong things that he did get, and the fear and shame he must have felt. I thought about how if he had been given the nurturing every child deserves, he wouldn't have become a father who tortured his kids. I still have the most intense nightmares of him trying to harm me. But my mind couldn't go there to re-parent that hurt child. Would there even be any therapeutic value in doing that? It was such a mind-f*** to think about this.