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Childhood Reporting CSA ??

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Lelers

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Hi all,

Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this.

Last month I reported my abuser to law enforcement. It was just a regular officer who took the initial report. The whole case is kind of complicated because I currently live in a different state than where they abuse occurred. So the officer did what they call a “courtesy report.” This report was then passed along to the police department in the jurisdiction, (San Diego), where the abuse took place.

Fast forward to last week, I finally got a call from a sex crimes detective over in San Diego county and he wants me to come in, in-person for an interview. He also asked me if I would be willing to take the stand to testify in a trial, if the case ever got to that point. He also mentioned that I’ll have to do a pretext phone call with my abuser to try to get him to admit to something. I told him I’d need some time to process everything and then decide. He’s calling me back March 5th to see if I’ve made a decision.

Basically, where I’m at now is that I really have no idea what I want to do. I’m trying to weigh the pros and cons, and I think it’d be really really helpful for me to hear from other folks who have gone through the investigative and legal processes of reporting sexual abuse. So if anyone can offer any insights, I’d very much appreciate it!

How long, and how tough, and how explicit/detailed does the detective interview have to be? How was your pretext call experience? Did you have to see your abuser? Go to court?How long did the whole legal process take? How emotionally-taxing was it for you? What was the outcome? And, was it worth it in the end??

Sorry for the essay and for a ton of questions!! Thank you if you took the time to read it!

tl;dr, what was your experience like in the criminal justice system when reporting past sexual abuse ??
 
I don't have any experience with anything in the justice system but I wanted to respond and let you know that I am sending thoughts and prayers your way. That sounds incredibly difficult
 
My case never got past reporting, so I don’t have any further experience.

However, I think that it’s important to determine if you can truly be ok with what happens, no matter what the outcome ie acquittal, confronting your abuser but never getting an admission of guilt or never going to trial, etc.

Good luck!
 
I would say if I wanna "go to law" you'd have to be ready for the absolute worst. The defence will do anything including lying and intimidation to win without a second thought. They might not but you have to be ready.

So just take every worst case scenario you can think of and ask yourself "can I live with this if it happens?"

Justice through the law is a roll of the dice in my opinion.

If your motivation is to stop (whoever) from hurting anyone else and you are willing to sacrifice yourself and you "have to" then go ahead but make sure you understand.

Your question in my mind has a tone that would make me tend to advise you not to do it? Police, lawyers and judges have their own concerns. You are probably not one of them.

I never did this about my abuse but my wife and I spent years in court. It's gross and disgusting (my opinion). I never want to go to court again ever in my life and I wish I never had. Lawyers in general are such scum ...

Just my 2 cents. Sorry I wish it were easier.
 
I couldn't follow through with the phone call part emotionally, even though I was convinced He would openly admit it. You can take it as far as you want and get to the trial part and if you decide it is too much, you can tell them you can't take it any farther for your emotional health. So if you decide to do this, know that you can back out if it becomes to hard.
 
I think you should ask yourself - how would this help me? You need to only do what would help you. You have been thru enough. So, unless more of this process will help you, you need to decide how much further you want to go.

Sometimes all that is needed to just be heard. Once you had told your story, did it make you feel better? Was that enough? Think long and hard about it, and always be honest with yourself about what you want/need.
 
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