Reporting suspected crime/danger

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
I am hypervig right now but wasn't when I got this general suspicion.

I tried to question my friends that are forced to be involved with this man, but they both cried which alarmed me.

I want to report this man as a person of interest. Is that a thing? I can't pinpoint why I have these suspicions without outing my friends and I don't want to lose their friendship.

I definitely believe people are being harmed and forced to do things they don't want to do, by a man of control that is exploiting them with his power.

I don't want to sound like an idiot or get my friends in danger or myself if it comes back to me.

I have expressed a HUGE dislike for this man based on things I've experienced about him myself (not leaving me alone!!! I've considered serving him with a legal notice if he doesn't leave me alone he will be held to the law)

Oh and when I expressed the dislike my friends looked scared and as if someone glued their mouth shut?

If I gave him a notice I would have to sign it. What I mean is its not anonymous

I'm thinking there's gotta be a way to report general suspicion.

I'm really overwhelmed honestly some scared.

What do you think?
 
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Friday

Moderator
In the, US most police precincts have a “community liaison officer” (in larger cities often a whole dept.) whose job includes meeting with the general public and answering questions. They do everything from 1:1 meetings to answer questions just like yours, to arranging school visits (career day, safety presentations, etc.), town hall meetings, getting people not directly involved with a crime (like friends & family) linked up with victims services/social services, handing out stickers & answering questions at county fairs & holiday parades…. any/every kind of interfacing with the public.

Give your local a call & ask to set up a meeting.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
when i was in a similar position, i started with victim services at my local police precinct. the person i met with was a trained therapist and, under the protection of patient confidentiality, she helped me understand my options and how they would work. ultimately, i decided not to file any reports or charges. she was priceless in helping me do so with far greater peace of mind than i believe i could have achieved on my own.
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
@arfie, thank you for sharing. If you're comfortable could you share more about how she helped you? I'd love to not have to talk to the police. I just want peace of mind. I feel the "see something say something"

Just remembered while on the phone with a friend that at one point I asked straightly

Are you safe

And the look on her face, and tone in her voice did not match a solid yes.
 

Weemie

MyPTSD Pro
If you're in the States you should also be able to check if he has ever been incarcerated or if he is on a sex offender's list or on parole. If that's the case approaching your liaison officer and telling them that this individual in your community is frightening you because he would not leave you alone and your friends have expressed fear when he is brought up will have more weight. Just as a warning, it is unlikely that they will take any kind of action, if this person has not broken any laws.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
the meeting was far closer to a standard therapy session than a police encounter. repeat, she was a trained therapist and our discussion was fully covered by the patient confidentiality clauses. this meeting was in the 90's, before the ptsd dx had officialized, but she spotted me right off as an assault survivor and factored that into the convo with highly sensitive skill. at no time did she make me feel foolish for the inquiries. a detail that set her apart from other therapists i had worked with is that she was also quite knowledgeable on police and court procedures. she was able to discuss my legal options in great detail. the combo of psychotherapy and official insights made for a reassuring cocktail. i was thoroughly relieved by the encounter.

i scheduled the meeting by calling the victims services office. aside from the reception desk, i never did speak to anybody in uniform. it was as relaxed an encounter as any i have ever had within a police station. alas, i've had an unfortunate number of the less relaxed encounters. for this one, the hardest part was parking my car in front of THAT dread building. AGAIN! !! unfortunately, it wasn't the last time i had to use that parking lot. the next time was easier for knowing where her office was.
 

Freida

MyPTSD Pro
I want to report this man as a person of interest. Is

If you are in the US the first thing they will ask is "what is he a person of interest in?"

The bar for reporting a crime in the US is actually higher than most people realize. The officers will ask you if you have actually seen him do anything, or if they have actually told you they are afraid of him or he is forcing them to do things. Unless there is something specific to investigate there really isn't anything the officer could follow up on.

Basically if you don't have something concrete to tell them other than a "gut feeling" they won't investigate him because of the way our legal system works. And yes -- it is very, very frustrating. Because until there is a crime there can't be a crime. Feelings don't count. Which is stupid because those feelings are an early warning system - and we all know that! But, again, legal system.

So instead you can go this route....
Just remembered while on the phone with a friend that at one point I asked straightly

Are you safe

And the look on her face, and tone in her voice did not match a solid yes.

If you think the women are in danger you can ask the police to do a welfare check on them. That's where you call and say "my friends seem to be really upset and I think there might be some domestic violence going on in their home. Can you send someone to go check on them?" If all you have is a "feeling" they may or may not go.

If they do take it as a call they will go to the house, knock on the door and talk with them. The bad thing about welfare checks is that if your friends say there is no problem then they can't do anything. That's the end of the call.

Instead I'd suggest contacting a local domestic violence hotline. They have a completely different set of resources, so they might be able to get ahold of your friends directly and try to help them, or at least try to get them to report what is happening. Plus they usually have an excellent understanding of how the criminal justice system works since they deal with it every day, which can make the process much, much easier. And it often feels safer for victims to talk with non-official people than with the actual cops.

I can't pinpoint why I have these suspicions without outing my friends and I don't want to lose their friendship.
Sometimes the only way to help is to take a risk.
Would you rather they be safe and hate you?
Or be in danger and still friends?


Don't get me wrong - I don't want to discourage you from reporting! If you believe your friends are in danger then yes - you need to tell someone. I just want to give you a heads up on some of the challenges you might run into along the way because our legal system sucks. 🥺
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
Okay so..I'm not the leader on this but I am involved. Out of a group of five people we are reporting known crime of this dangerous man, today and sort of having an intervention for the main woman in danger.

This man bragged to one of our friends for having possession of the date rape drug. 😔 Scary. Just posting for support. His words "If I really want to have sex with someone I just need one drop of this in their drink" 🤢🤮

Also he has a gun he threatens people with including and especially the woman who is not typically allowed out of his sight. Her words exactly "he went out for an hour without me, so I'm going out with you girls (today for lunch)."

I can't believe this is real life but I'm thankful to help.

The only part that was my idea was to take the woman out for lunch, and it worked out that the others already planned to report him.

He is a felon for kidnapping and sodomy 1st degree. I had no idea!! He was locked up for 20 years 🤐😵

No hate on anyone that's been in trouble but. Yeah. Posting for support.

The person calling in, is making it anonymous. The woman in danger has an appointment after lunch so there's plenty of time.

I'm confident and okay just wow.
 

EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
I don’t want to sound like a downer but the wheels of justice turn slowly. Assuming this is all going to happen in the span of a few hours is likely overly optimistic. I hope your friend is safe and that she gets way from this man. Just be prepared for this to take some time.
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
@EveHarrington

Where I live they responded nearly immediately to a neighbor harassment situation.

This is far more serious.
1. A womans life threatened by an illegal fire arm by a known felon
2. Posession of date rape drug to an already convicted sex offender who kidnapped and sodomized a minor
3. The evidence is in the apartment.

I'm fairly confident they will send someone over and he will be arrested. Hope so anyway!

Thanks for the well wishes for my friend.
 
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