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Resistant to taking medication

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Just hoping someone can offer a bit of advice or has been through the same thing..

I am at the point where medication really needs to be on the table. Things aren’t shifting, they are pretty dire & it’s being strongly suggested at this point some chemical help is going to be required alongside therapy.

Now here’s the sticky bit. Something in me is so so so resistant to taking any form of psych meds. This is not fear of meds in general, but specifically psych stuff. I’ve been on anti depressants & anti psychotics before, and yep I know im unlikely to get the right combo first time but the side effects were insufferable. I just can’t bear to go through all the switching, the side effects, the weight gain, withdrawal and just the general ugh. Logically, I can see the benefits, I understand why I need to play the trial and error game. Emotionally I’m just not on board for it.

Has anyone found themselves in the same spot and found a way through? Gone for it and regrets or gone for it and it’s been really beneficial?
 
Something in me is so so so resistant to taking any form of psych meds. This is not fear of meds in general, but specifically psych stuff. I’ve been on anti depressants & anti psychotics before, and yep I know im unlikely to get the right combo first time but the side effects were insufferable. I just can’t bear to go through all the switching, the side effects, the weight gain, withdrawal and just the general ugh. Logically, I can see the benefits, I understand why I need to play the trial and error game. Emotionally I’m just not on board for it.
I'm right there with you. Not sure the resistance is a bad thing, though, when the experience you have has been bad. I've been on everything except the very new meds, and any benefit at all was quashed by the side effects.

I sometimes think I need to try again, but the only thing that ever helped me before was a med at 5x the normal dose and I'm not going there again. Trying again means frequent doctor appointments, unknown side effects, and a long trial period. I know that because I just don't respond to them.

Have you tried any alternative therapies? That's my next step. I've done some and have seen short-term benefits, so I'm thinking I might try again.
 
i was/am extremely resistant to drug therapy. it hits my conditioned senses as pre-planned addiction. i started psychotherapy in the early 70's when the u.s. was reeling from the epidemic of prescription drug addiction of the 60's and uber resistant to drugs of any stripe. the notion of drug therapy was so utterly ridiculous that they had to change the name to "med therapy" to sell the notion. the name change didn't go far in reducing my resistance.

still, there comes a time when enough is enough and the talk therapy wasn't producing any breakthroughs. in the early 90's i gave in and tried several name-forgotten psychiatric drugs. those drugs helped me establish an emotional baseline to shoot for in the talk therapy. it worked and i was able to wean off the drugs without incident around the turn of the millennium. i've been managing my condition holistically ever since.

back in the prohibition era, it was common to call drugs, "a crutch." these days i wonder what is wrong with crutches. they are downright handy when your leg is broken.
 
I have been on 6 different anti-depressants for the last two years. the first 5 made me feel even more depressed as well as weight gain with some of them. I am currently on Lamotrigine. I started at 25mg and now I am up to 100 mg. On a scale of 1 to 10, I stay about a five. The depression is worse in the morning but then levels off in the afternoon. My therapist wants to change my medication for the 7th time. I told her "no" and that I could live with being a 5 out of 10. Yes, I still have this depression, but I can now manage it. Medication is not always a cure all. You have to incorporate things.

I am interested to know what other things you are doing to manage the depression. What about daily strenuous exercise, meditation, journaling? What about a regimented daily routine first thing in the morning? Here is an example of what I do to get moving:

Upon waking, immediately get out of bed
Take a shower
Get dressed
Make the bed
Coffee, juice, toast
Journal
Make a list of what I want to get done for the day
2 mile hard run
Meditate
I have learned to like myself by being aware of my thoughts and self-talk. If want to feel good, I have to think good. We come to believe what we tell ourselves. Try writing down your thoughts and self-talk for the next few days. You will be surprised how many self-defeating
things we fill our brains with. When I wake up feeling depressed, I may say something like, "I see you are back in town depression. I am just going to notice you. I will not engage with you. I will manage you by keeping busy and doing what I need to do based upon my values and principles." I then get my ass out of bed and start my morning routine.

Unfortunately, we are slaves to our thinking, and this is what gives disturbances more power. There is a book I am recommending called The Poer of Now by Eckert Tolle. It is the best self-help book I have ever read, and I have read them all. He explains how thinking not only runs our lives but how it ruins our lives. He provides ways to help you decrease your thinking so that you can have more peace. I have purchased this book for many people. It is very enlightening.

In closing, you are going to get through this crap! Joy and peace are right around the corner. Be good to yourself, stay connected with friends and family daily, and stay busy.
 
Have you tried any alternative therapies? That's my next step. I've done some and have seen short-term benefits, so I'm thinking I might try again.
I haven’t no - i get a lot of regular exercise but have been considering maybe adding yoga? Is there anything else you would suggest I try before I go down the dreaded med route?

I’m totally with you, I have to hold my hands up and say I’ve only tried a few different meds but I was at max dose feeling shit with shit side effects that doctors are telling me to stick with and give it time. I just can’t bear to do it all again

those drugs helped me establish an emotional baseline to shoot for in the talk therapy.
Thank you for sharing your experiences & wisdom. This is exactly what we are shooting for, and I’m pleased to hear they did help you
 
Is there anything else you would suggest I try before I go down the dreaded med route?
Well, there are a lot of things you can try. Qigong, other energy therapies (I actually noticed a huge difference after a session of pranic healing--I was helping someone out who was getting their certificate, so I went in with no expectations, but...wow), animal-assisted therapies like equine therapy, other traditional and non-traditional medical things like TMS, acupuncture, massage, dietary changes, light therapy, etc.

I have a lot of physical pain, in addition to the depression, and I think it makes the depression a lot worse, so I also try mindfulness for pain, and I'm going to be doing light therapy at some point. I just can't go back to meds.
 
I see my resistance to meds being partly based on prior experience and data, and partly on knowing that I don’t do enough of the other stuff.

The science shows that routines and hobbies and exercise and yoga and journaling and focusing on your own physical needs does shift things for a great many people. It’s a good thing we all should have in our lives. I just suck at that. I get stuck exactly where I’m at now, in that lack of motivation space, dealing with a freeze sort of response, which I don’t experience as similar to being depressed.

i have emergency meds that I can use for acute episodes of distress, which are necessary and helpful. Otherwise I just keep doing the work as best I can, and try to build a healthy life while moving through it all.
 
I’ve been on anti depressants & anti psychotics before, and yep I know im unlikely to get the right combo first time but the side effects were insufferable. I just can’t bear to go through all the switching, the side effects, the weight gain, withdrawal and just the general ugh.
I hear you. You can get genetically tested now, which will let your doctor know how you’re likely to metabolise different medications, and which medications you’re likely to get a lot of side effects from. Might be worth asking your prescriber to do that before deciding what meds to try.
 
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