Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

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MyWillow

MyPTSD Pro
I really liked how you genuinely laughed when I - in a badly dissociated state - joked how f*cking annoying it is that you were so right last session.

Again. I cannot comprehend how normally we seem to relate when I’m slipping into the abyss. That must take so much effort on your part. I really do not comprehend who is answering your gentle but probing questioning sometimes.

You really get that I hate labels, am avoiding like crazy and probably wouldn’t tolerate a diagnosis very well. Yet you know I’m a scientist and have read every relevant journal article...so you keep slipping the language in....trauma, integration...without attaching any importance to it. I know that you’re playing with my subconscious but I’m ok with it. Consciously I need to live in the land of denial for just a bit longer. Thank you. I know I’m lucky to have you. Apologies for the walls. But they keep me safe.
 

deeplyloved

MyPTSD Pro
You speak to me so slowly and calmly when I’m weeping and hyperventilating. I hate it. And it also works every single time. And you don’t tell me my feelings are stupid or make me feel like I shouldn’t have bothered you. Before we talk, I feel like a fragile, blubbering idiot. After we talk, I feel like a competent adult again. Thank you.
 

MyWillow

MyPTSD Pro
Hmmm. I'm in here again. You are good. Very good. Another realisation tonight. I finally realised I was losing time in session mid last year. I think I had cried quite a bit during those sessions. But then it was like no f*cking way am I losing control again. So then the flashbacks started. And fighting the flashbacks followed (bad move). So many times I was close to tears of exhaustion but resisted. The standard box of tissues disappeared. It was a conscious thing you did I'm sure. To reduce shame. Last session when tears started falling for the first time in ages you said with such gentle humour "Just when I've run out of tissues." And I produced my own. Damn it. I hate how you know me better than I know myself.
 

Let It Be

MyPTSD Pro
I wonder if you will remember that you didn't schedule another appointment with me because your phone was dead when you cash the checks that I gave your for past sessions.

So I wonder how long I will have to wait until you have re-charged your phone!
 

Ronin

MyPTSD Pro
It almost stopped being November.

But only because 'come on, punch me. You'll feel better. The hell's wrong with you, not drinking, not smoking, and not even in for a fight' and similar making me laugh things.

Still need more things making me feel alive. People that used to know me when I was coping, too.
 
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