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Sufferer Retired deputy w/c-ptsd

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JamesW

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Hello everyone. I was a deputy sheriff in CA for 12 years. An injury to my dominant hand and more recent surgeries to my neck have made it clear I will not return to law enforcement again. As part of my treatment for chronic pain due to the failed spinal surgeries, it was suggested that I start seeing a therapist to help cope with the pain. Over the course of the first few sessions, the therapist diagnosed me with C-PTSD, anxiety, clinical depression, panic disorder and anger management issues. I have been seeing her once a week for over two years along with two types of anti depressants along with my nerve pain meds. I also saw a psychologist for about 8 months to help prepare for two additional surgeries and sessions with relaxation/hypnosis techniques. I also returned to church about 18 months ago after a 30 year absence. Despite all of these treatments, I still suffer panic attacks, nightmares, night terrors and issues with hyper vigilance. I still get angry very easily which often happens with my immediate family. This is the first forum I've joined at the suggestion of my therapist to share my story in the hope that it might help others.
 
Welcome! Glad you found us.Hope you find support and worthwhile suggestions that can help. A lot of experiance in all things PTSD here.
Have made a lot of progress since being here So hope you reap the same benefits.
 
Hi there! dispatch here -- did you see the thread for first responders? It's a good place to talk without having to translate

Despite all of these treatments, I still suffer panic attacks, nightmares, night terrors and issues with hyper vigilance. I still get angry very easily which often happens with my immediate family.

You should be really proud of yourself for reaching out for help. Sometimes we helpers are the worst patients so you are being a great role model for those who come next. It sounds like you are doing everything right - which you deserve a shout out for. And yes - it just takes time...time ..time... Sometimes for those coming from the immediate response world that drawn out time thing is a huge pain to get used to.
 
Hi @JamesW just to say welcome :-)

I hear you on still having many symptoms despite 2 years of treatments, wondered if you feel the treatments have helped you?
 
Yes they have definitely helped. I was a mess when all of this started. Not only the pain from the spinal surgeries but the panic attacks were so bad that I would be shaking like a leaf crying my eyes out in the back corner of a grocery store. My symptoms were so bad, shock therapy was mentioned at one point.

In all honesty, I should have never been a deputy. My mom beat me with my dad's rodeo belt buckles until I was 13 and my dad molested me when I was 10. My 6 year old sister died in my arms from a brain tumor when I was 9 years old. That was my parents idea. Anyway, I was already traumatized by the time I hit the streets.

But yes, the therapy and meds have helped me alot. I still have a rough road ahead but I'm better than I was before.
 
I'm really glad the therapy has helped you @JamesW and hope it continues to do so, hope you get a lot out of this place too. Best.
 
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