Returning to


Does anyone else find themselves taking breaks from this website unknowingly only to return? That's (us)(parts). We're on all the time then not at all then back again. I'm assuming it's a result of no one in our everyday life would truly understand our struggles without judgement. Is that a fair assumption? It is for us. Thanks to how the media continues to portray those who suffer from mental illness as bad, criminals, untrustworthy etc. Someone prove us wrong since DID is extremely misunderstood amongst other diagnoses. And yes, our mental illnesses do define us because there's so many of us who can act very different. I guess we're just lonely and reaching out to anyone who fights the battle but doesn't feel like they get far.


There are definitely times when I’m more over this site than other times. But that’s not really that I take long breaks from visiting the site, I usually check-in every day. The difference with me is probably in how much I post. I can go quite a while without posting anything then, other times, there’s a flurry of stuff and I feel like I’m practically spamming the forums! I suppose I mostly post when I have been triggered.

Some days I find myself visiting many times a day and then my heart sinks a bit when I click on new posts and there’s nothing new to show me. I don’t know why that feels hard sometimes because it’s not even that I’m wanting to see new replies to my posts or whatever…it’s like I’m looking for something but don’t really know what. Something I identify with perhaps? So that perhaps I feel more accepted and understood, even if I haven’t actually posted myself?

I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely. I’m glad you posted here - there is usually someone around who gets it.


And now I'm back. Probably because I'm lonely and long to live in a world where I can be all of me. I know that will never happen.
Today was a tough day in therapy. My mind took us to a dark black place feeling like we weren't physically in the office and it's terrible. It's happened before and my t helps us try and come back and we appreciate her help. Just checking for now as I'm loosing the ability to write because of my parts. Bye