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Other Rumours and bullying torment! newbie!

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Dannaman

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ok, like some, in fact, like most males (myself being 31yo), I have been reluctant to talk about my issues and problems, family life was ok growing up, except for financial issues it was not without its normal problems and no note of any mental health conditions within the family prior.

Grew up with a body deformity called pectus-excavatum aka pigeon chest (abnormal ribs). Yes, like most pubescent young boys i was insecure and tried to hide it every time we showered during Phys. Ed. and believe it or not I managed to avoid bullying and go unnoticed generally throughout life. I was always reassured it was who i was and it can't be changed, but as I got older I still kept it in the back of my mind of how insecure i was and still am; i have tried everything hospital-wise for advice but it was always considered cosmetic so no further help needed.

I've never had an immediate problem approaching women (longest r'ship 4 years), getting by on 'ok' facial looks, but again it would still be quite harrowing so like most young lads I tried working out to help the situation, which eventually decided would make it look worse, but made me feel better whilst doing it in a catch22 scenario and in a strange way quite self-theraputic. So due to my lack of female attention through life, i went to uni + felt i had to make up for it and went on a bit of a tangent having multiple partners leading to me catching an STI without knowing the symptoms and I passed it on but before I realised she had told someone of who she thought was my friend who ended up blabbing about it to everyone, I was so embarrassed.

10 years on now everyone in my immediate circle knows about it whenever i start a new job or meet new people, I'm so paranoid about who knows and people judging me is becoming a bit of a problem and taking its toll on me on top of a lot of other issues as well as my already low self-esteem.

I feel i cant talk to my family about it because I don't want them to think i'm not coping as they have enough problems, and as mentioned earlier I don't talk about my problems so I just had to write all this down and I hope I am in the right place.

thank you for welcoming me to this community any advice welcome
 
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Hi and Welcome to the forum.
I hope you find the information on here helpful and the people supportive - I know I have!

I appreciate that your chest shape and your history of an STI must seem like incredibly big deals to you. However you have already worked out that to the medical profession they are not. That is because- to them - it is nothing unusual nor serious. I would imagine with therapy to help your self confidence, self worth and self image you could ditch the paranoia and start feeling a lot better about yourself .

Have you asked your GP or other professional about the possibility of referral for psychological support? It might be worth a shot.
Regards, Lucy x
 
Thank you so much Lucy

I can appreciate it is probably not as traumatic a case as some might consider and I'm trying to prevent making direct comparisons as I myself am not a medical professional.

Every time I meet new people or consider going to any type of social event even just going to work there is sometimes quite an overwhelming feeling of anxiety, paranoia and total helplessness, I've become isolated because people can't help me they see me going through this anguish daily and I'm battling coming to terms that everyone knows

I keep reliving these scenarios to the point it is taking over my life, I put off things from my daily routine just because it is literally sapping my energy, I will be seeking medical help eventually in the mean time this is helping me get it off my chest (punifyouwant)
 
Hello!

Welcome to the forums

Since you mentioned that everyone in your town knows, or at least that you think so, do you have the option of moving somewhere else?

It might help you take some stress off
 
Hi Saelben!

Thanks for the response

Yes I have moved subsequently and also due to job change I had to but the grey cloud is still lingering, I've become an extra popular extra terrestrial like its some kind of unknown entity!

The usual responses I get are to say don't worry about it or don't be so dramatic but it is a small problem just constantly spiraling out of control I feel socially awkward and isolated which is effecting me in the workplace too.

I appreciate there are other social issues out there and I don't want this to consume my life as it is .


Hello!

Welcome to the forums

Since you mentioned that everyone in your town knows, or at least that y...
 
Ah, understood.

Well, sharing in a more direct way will probably help :)

If you are willing, you could start threads out of this intro one more specific to the issue
 
Anxiety area of the forum mainly, in my opinion.

Seems fitting for that area, and its quite a frequented area, so it shouldn't be hard to get an answer
 
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