Sad Reading When I Changed As A Child

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mytai

MyPTSD Pro
I'm visiting my parents this weekend for Easter, and my mum gave me my folder of school report cards and records. I just sat for an hour reading every comment from kindergarten to grade 12. My heart hurts. I can see exactly between what times the sexual abuse began in my life.

It's so heart breaking to see how much of a leader I was as a child in kindergarten, only to see a dramatic difference in teachers observations the following years. My sudden inability to concentrate, my inability to appropriately interact with other kids, the lack of participation in class, and preferring to be alone and read than interact with others. I went from outgoing and vivacious to quiet, awkward, and uncommunicative.

I wish someone had recognized this drastic change in my life and looked into it, asked me as a child. It's depressing to see. Going to share this info with T on Monday. Need a big hug from her.
 

Cool Cat

MyPTSD Pro
I wish someone had recognized this drastic change in my life and looked into it, asked me as a child. It's depressing to see.
I can't relate to the child sexual abuse but I can really relate to that point. There were loads of things that I too would have done as a child, changes that happened, that should have set off alarm bells, and no one recognised it.
 

garden

MyPTSD Pro
@mytai my life is full of alarms that people chose to ignore too. As far as the domestic violence and physical abuse in our home, stuff was noticed by a couple of people. I even had some of them ask me questions, and I would answer then honestly, even cry in front of them as I'm answering their questions, believing that they were going to help, but in the end, they were just being nosey. They were looking for dirt, and had no intention of helping me escape. Sickening. I went back to school with a slightly black eye one time (I was allowed to stay home when it was still fresh), and not one adult asked me what happened, I heard them whispering to eachother, I saw the looks on their faces as they looked at me from a short distance, but no one asked me any questions.

This might be a flaw in our collective thinking, that we should mind our own business. When is it our business to intervene? I think this is muddy for a lot of people.
 
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