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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rosebud" data-source="post: 1706083" data-attributes="member: 1418">I think when it comes to attachment, and insecure attachment styles, for all people it's largely unconscious until made conscious, whereby then you can choose to recognize and attempt to deal with it or change it. Which doesn't mean you can necessarily change all of it, or all of it with all people, but does help you take onus for what your mind is doing and choosing to communicate and act differently, and have a better understanding of how the people around you are left feeling in response, too. And maybe tend towards secure attachment, albeit even selectively. We all tend to interpret life and pick very natural, convincing reasons that fit with our subconscious fears, stories and schemas (usually negative ones) we tell ourselves and meanings that lend to support what is our subconscious belief of reality, and that bode for self-preservation and for pain avoidance when not a secure attachment style (let alone as regards ptsd complicating matters).Good luck to you. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤗" title="Hugging face    :hugging:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.0/png/unicode/64/1f917.png" data-shortname=":hugging:" /></blockquote>