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Scared of disappointing my therapist

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Theasylumsystem

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Throughout working with my therapist (almost three years) I feel as though we have created a very important and close relationship.

I've been struggling lately. Struggling.

I want to rely on her, tell her what's been going on but I'm afraid... I know it's her job to help me but I just feel so... lost and that I've regressed in all of my progress. I don't...know anymore I just want to be over this. I want to make progress again before I try to tell her but its just getting worse.
 
Healing from PTSD is not linear. You can feel like you slid backwards but it's just your therapy working.

I don't know what therapy you are doing but most of it uses up brain power and leaves you with less to work with. That makes stress more of a problem. Smaller stresses you were OK with now push you to the top of the scale.

If you haven't already explore the Articles section on the big blue bar at the top of the page. The PTSD cup is the first one and a great place to start. Lowering stress is the best thing when you feel like you are not doing well.
 
I hope you can say what you said here to your T. Holding information about how you feel from your T, means it will take a little longer to progress.

You can't disappoint your T. I know it's hard to believe. But they are there to help you. That's it. When you look at it like that, how could they possibly be disappointed?

Someone on here said to me once that one step forward and two steps back is still one step forward.

And my T said to me once that even though it feels as though it has gone back, the learning and the awareness is still there. It hasn't disappeared. It's all the process.
 
I agree with everyone else. It's impossible to feel like your making progress and doing really well 100% of the time. Tell your therapist how you feel and just be honest. She will see it as a good way to use her skills to help you.
 
The one time I was aware that I'd disappointed my T (some years back now, lesson was learned!) was when I lied about how well I was coping. I'd been struggling a lot, but I decided to tell my T I was managing, even though I knew I was going to go home and self harm.

The next time I saw them, it all came out. And they responded pretty well tbh. We ended up moving forward in a really constructive way.

But there was a brief few moments where they were palpably disappointed. Because I'd never lied to them before. And even though I just didn't want them to know, or worry...the fact that I'd known, and they asked, and I chose to lie about how I was coping - they were disappointed.

That cur to the bone. I've never done it again. And I've never felt like I've disappointed my T again. I've worried that I'm gonna be a disappointment to them (for all sorts of reasons), but it's always been in my head. Except for that one time.

The point, I think...It is possible to disappoint your T. Especially once they've been helping you a while. They have an amount of personal investment in your recovery. And they're only human. So yeah, they can feel disappointment. But it's unlikely to be for the reasons we worry about.
 
Take a giant leap and lean into the wisdom your T has for you. We think thay if we are not struggling all the time,then we are not growing. You have been given a oppurtunity to challenge tjose beliefs systems which is what therspy is all about. Give yourself permission to heal. A T worth their weight in gold is one who will not judge you,but challemge you to grow. Don't give up on your journey to heal,You are worth healing
 
The one time I was aware that I'd disappointed my T (some years back now, lesson was learned!) was when I lied about how well I was coping.
That's rule 1, total absolute honesty. Even the stuff that you have hidden from everyone else in your life.

I think the only other thing that would disappoint my T is if I didn't try to help myself. At this point my T would know something else was wrong but as long as you are truley making a effort, I doubt you could disappoint your T.
 
Yeah I also tend to think the only kind of things that can disappoint a therapist is you not being honest and lying to them, thus eventually allowing yourself to lie to yourself. They’re paid and studied to help so someone being struggling shouldn’t be a disappointment—but finding themselves unable to help because you’re not being open is an obstacle. That said I also struggle a lot to be entirely flat out about things I’m not proud of or when I feel I’m not doing things as I should. A big part of the therapy is actually stopping doing that.
 
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